Friendship is Card Games: The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well · 3:54pm Dec 21st, 2014
Ugh. This one. The first time I saw this one, I felt an unusual sensation. It took me a while to figure out what it was: I wasn't enjoying an episode of Friendship is Magic. This was highly unusual for me. Even with "Owl's Well that Ends Well," I was enjoying it before I realized that the second half wasn't actually a nightmare.
I’m not going to comment on the hyperdimensional treehouse. All buildings in Equestria clearly have TARDIS technology. I am surprised by the sheer number of stalkers members of Rainbow Dash’s fanclub, at least in the opening pan shot. The numbers seem to fluctuate after that, but internal consistency and logic aren’t exactly this episode’s strong suits.
I like to think I’m a little more restrained in my pan-fandom than Snips and Snails.
I do like how pegasi can apparently control the consistency of clouds.
Why is there a road on that cliff? It just ends. Is Ponyville a Shel Silverstein poem now? Are they going to be attacked by the Quick-Digesting Gink?
I thought Dash’s middle name was Jennifer.
Pinkie is afraid of ghosts. Pinkie is afraid of ghosts. 
So, is Dash getting a cut of the merchandising profits or what?
Oh hey, another episode with aviator Cherry Berry! Didn’t notice that before. Neat.
The mayor has to be in on this. There’s no way that naming speech wasn’t rehearsed, especially given the monogrammed cape clasp.
By the time the stallion finishes asking Dash to skip her catchphrase, she already would’ve finished it. Also, seriously, why is that road there?
Okay, we’ve seen that skyscrapers are a thing with Manehattan, and Equestria’s technology level has gotten more schizophrenic with time. But what in Ponyville requires this kind of construction equipment? The prevailing architectual aesthetic is "thatched-roof cottage." It’s bad enough that all of this peril just happens to be happening at the same time, but did they really have to use something so egregiously anachronistic? Likewise the dam… even if those seem to be Tesla coils, which raises all kinds of interesting possibilities.
After the dam, I am strongly tempted to declare this what would have happened if Twilight hadn’t gone back in time and gotten herself to start that disaster-proofing campaign.
“Oh, for the love of Pete.” Rainbow Dash’s canon reaction to alicorn OCs, ladies and gentlemen. Also, I have to wonder who Pete is in a pony context.
Much has already been said about the rest of the Mane Six being hypocrites for praising their own deeds. That being said, the rest of the Mane Six are hypocrites for praising their own deeds. Especially Applejack’s “She lets her actions speak for themselves.” Then what are you doing right now, orange horse!? And then they laugh at Dash's frustration. You know, like friends do.
Okay, admittedly, friends will do that on occasion, but this still pretty low behavior. It’s no wonder Dash basically becomes the villain of the piece later.
“Busses and baby carriages are always careening down this hill.” THEN WHY IS THERE A ROAD THERE!?
Also, didn’t we go through the “where’s a problem where you need one?” schtick in “Lesson Zero”? In a way that didn’t destroy any sense of verisimilitude or internal consistency?
Dash struggling with the peanut butter jar is like something out of a nature documentary. “Despite her best efforts, the pegasus cannot break through the jar’s tough hide. The jar is content to wait until she exhausts herself and leaves to seek out easier prey.”
You’d think pony lawnmowers would have something to collect the grass. And maybe an attachment for salad dressing.
Huh. Guess the emotional sensitivity of clouds came up before “Testing Testing 1-2-3.” Interesting.
I do like how the Mares-Do-Well kept Dash off balance. Good tactics against someone who would catch up in an eyeblink. But then she pursues one for several seconds and never gets any closer.
I like to think that all ponies using the one body model is just a shortcut for the sake of the show, and the body types would be a bit more diverse in Equestria. At the very least, there would be little differences that the ponies can see, even if we can’t. In order for Mare-Do-Well’s multiple secret identities to work, that can’t be the case. The ponies have to be just as cookie-cutter as they appear.
I thought about making Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee into legendary creatures. If the Face the Hydra Challenge Deck can have Heads, why not a few Legs? Still, that seemed a bit too silly.
Okay, I can kind of understand teaching Dash through example. But couldn’t they have at least tried talking to her beforehand? Maybe hold an intervention? An interrogation? A lecture from Luna on the dangers of hubris? Chewing out Dash after saving Cherry Berry from the popped balloon? Something?
“Celebrating your accomplishments is natural, but…”
“Rubbing them in everypony’s face is not.” Oh, you mean like you did with Dash?
All right, let’s get this over with:
Fall in a Well W
Enchantment
When Fall in a Well enters the battlefield, you may exile target creature with power 3 or less until Fall in a Well leaves the battlefield.
Somewhere deep in Winona’s racial memory, something thought, “Not again.”
Refabricate W
Instant
Regenerate target artifact or Wall.
”I’m not usually one to toot my own horn, but I have to admit, this could’ve gone a lot worse.”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Calm Day 1W
Enchantment
At the beginning of each upkeep, each player who didn’t cast a spell last turn gains 1 life.
Even Ponyville has moments of peace.
Fan Club 2W
Creature — Pony
Fan Club gets +1/+1 for each of its colors.
Fan Club is the colors of each legendary creature you control in addition to its other colors.
Their devotion is matched only by how quickly they’ll change allegiance.
1/1
Obligate Catchphrase 2W
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
When Obligate Catchphrase enters the battlefield, draw a card.
Enchanted creature can’t attack or block unless one of its activated abilities was activated this turn.
Sky Swim 1U
Sorcery
Creatures you control with flying gain islandwalk until end of turn and creatures you control with islandwalk gain flying until end of turn.
With the right magic, fluid media become interchangeable
Ego Ascension 2U
Enchantment
Whenever you become the target of a spell or ability, put a quest counter on Ego Ascension. Then, if there are five or more quest counters on Ego Ascension, choose one —
• Counter that spell or ability.
• Copy that spell or ability. (The copy still targets you.)
Mysterious Mare-Do-Well 3U
Legendary Creature — Pony Hero
Flash
U: Return target creature you own to your hand.
Whenever things get dangerous, she’s there.
2/2
Hydrothaumic Dam 4U
Creature — Wall
Defender
Blue spells you cast cost 1 less to cast.
When Hydrothaumic Dam dies, tap all nonblue creatures without flying.
0/5
Passing Fad 4U
Enchantment
Whenever you cast a permanent spell, you may pay U. If you do, return target permanent that shares a card type with that spell to its owner’s hand.
”Always keep it fresh. The crowds may cheer now, but tomorrow they’ll be after the next big thing.”
—Trixie Lulamoon, traveling performer
Self-Aggrandize B
Instant
Target creature you control gets +3/+0 until end of turn. If you control no other creatures, regenerate that creature.
An inflated ego becomes all the larger when no one can provide a needle.
Antagonize 2R
Instant
Choose target creature. Each creature with the same controller as that creature deals 1 damage to it.
Betrayals can be great or small, but they all hurt.
Curse of Mishaps 2RR
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
Activated abilities of artifacts enchanted player controls cost an additional “Sacrifice this artifact” to activate. (Costs that include more than one sacrifice of the same permanent can’t be paid.)
Sometimes everypony has an off day at the same time.
Incongruous Cliff 2RR
Instant
For each attacking creature without flying, flip a coin. If the coin comes up tails, destroy that creature.
”You wouldn’t believe what they charge for guardrails these days.“
—Marion Mare, mayor of Ponyville
Concealing Costume 3
Artifact —Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+2.
Whenever Concealing Costume becomes attached to a creature with morph, you may turn that creature face down.
Equip 3
Ear Trumpet 4
Artifact
2, T: The next time target opponent draws a card this turn, draw a card.
”Did you say something?”
Make a Stand (gw)(gw)
Instant
Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. Untap that creature.
Moving an earth pony against her will is guaranteed to be more trouble than it’s worth.
Hatchling Ghostwriter 1UR
Creature — Dragon
If an opponent would draw a card except the first one he or she draws in each of his or her draw steps, instead that player skips that draw and you draw a card unless he or she has Hatchling Ghostwriter deal 2 damage to him or her. (That player draws if he or she takes the damage.)
2/1
Vehicular Accident 1BR
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact. If that artifact was attached to a permanent, destroy that permanent.
When disaster strikes, it’s rarely surgical.
Good Publicity 1(gu)(gu)
Sorcery
Draw cards equal to the power of target legendary creature you control.
Cycling 2 (2, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
"The camera loves me. Who can blame it?"
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty
I'm a fairly new follower for you, so I was a little lost at first when I saw this, but I think I figured out what you're doing. (I had a comment interchange with someone about the MtG crossover stuff— still haven't read your story yet, though...
)
Do you do a blog post like this for every episode? A review of the episode and then make cards based on the events of said episode (or maybe not that episode, just new cards)? I'm not complaining at all, I think it's neat. Do you actually MAKE these? Like, print them out somewhere? Or are they all just concepts? I'm curious to know. I feel like that'd be a lot of fun to play!
Nopony will ever know...
2668037
Yeah, I've been doing this every Sunday since the start of season 4. After the finale, I wrapped around and started from the beginning. Here's the index.
Sadly, the primary means of producing homemade Magic cards, Magic Set Editor, isn't Mac compatible, and the developers have pretty much said that it's never going to be. Still, it's not like any of these have been playtested. For all I know, they're all horribly, horribly broken. However, if you have a group that's okay with fanmade cards, feel free to proxy them! I'd love to know how they turn out.
2668057 That's pretty slick! I'm actually not really a MtG player, but I do know HOW to play. Unfortunately, I don't think I would be able to gather enough people that 1) would play-test MLP cards or 2) really have the TIME to play-test them. I still think it's a great idea, though! Keep up the good work!
I hate that fucking episode. Was it Merriwether or Polsky who worked on it? Regardless, they're the worst writers on the show.
Every time I see someone defend this shit, their defense boils down to "But Rainbow was a cunt! She deserved it!" Fuck that. I couldn't be friends with people like that.
I wish the show would be more consistent with its characters. Having different writers do different episodes has an impact on character consistency; sometimes Spike is competent, sometimes he's not, sometimes Pinkie has depth, sometimes she's a screaming lunatic, etc.
I somehow made it to Season 4 without realizing most of what was wrong with the show. And I'm seriously considering quitting this whole thing altogether.
2668057
As to the Magic Set Editor thing: Though I need to catch up yet (and I don't remember where I paused) I am transcribing all your cards into it. I figure when you're done I'll save images of them and zip them all up for you to admire (And maybe photoshop pictures into).
That says it all, really.
th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/357/5/d/rainbow_dashs_middle_name_by_123turtleshell-d6ymd1q.png
From here.
All you have to change is make this trigger off a Rainbow Dash planeswalker, and it's perfect!
gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=386602&type=card
scoopertino.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/distortion_chart.jpg
Maybe Pete's a donkey? I mean, when you got names like "Matilda" floating around...
Or maybe he's a diamond dog. Pete is kinda a dog's name. Maybe.
Maybe the suits were each customized by Rarity more than we're led to believe. A bit more padding for Twilight's, a bit less padding for Applejack's and they'll look the same suited up.
...Yeah, that's a hard one to believe.
It's enchanted to make everyone who gazes upon it forget its presence a few minutes after. The sorcerer who placed this enchantment is a devious one who knew the follies of roadwork. It's his revenge for no one heeding his warnings, the bitter soul. That cliff has claimed many lives which have been long forgotten.
Filthy Rich's new strip mall, which is now postponed due to alleged safety cutbacks.
You know, it's been so long since I saw this episode that I can't remember what my initial reaction to it was. But at this point, I hate it just as much as everyone else.
First, grammar. Why are you questing your exclamations? Are you not sure about them? When you've got an inquisitive exclamation it's a question (?) first and an exclamation (!) second.
Second, dislike. I too dislikes this episode. It doesn't teach it's Aesop very well at all, characters are inconsistent and the amount of perilous events is just unbelievable. Though on that last one Ponyville is established as a disaster magnet, but normally dealing with stuff from the Everfree forest. Even so... .
Third, the cards.
I like Concealing Costume. I like Morph, and I like things that allow me to un-Morph my Morphs and Morph them again.
I'd love to see this in combination with something that has "When <cardname> is turned face up you may attach an unattached equipment you control to another creature you control. Morph unattach an attached equipment on <cardname>."
It is sad that Hatchling Ghostwriter requires that much rules test to actually work for such an, in theory, simple ability. Which is obviously why they don't use it more often and stick to "outside of the draw step" phrasing for such draw stealing effects.
2668057
I'll be honest, the majority of your cards are actually rather balanced.
We've talked about this before and I do tend to point out the more overpowered cards you make. A major limiter on the power level of a card is rarity (not the fashionista) and you've admitted to not thinking of that sort of thing while creating the card.
But then again that only matters in sealed, since in higher levels of constructed everyone just buys from the secondary market.
Why I just stick to the release events these days.
I choose to believe the cliff-road is a pegasus take-off ramp for when they're pulling heavy carts or other such loads, to make the process easier than an unassisted straight-vertical liftoff.
Please ignore Fluttershy's toad-cart in Feeling Pinkie Keen showing that ponies' rulebreaking of the laws of physics also extends to their attached artifacts.
2668107
It was Merriwether Williams's first episode. She's weirdly inconsistent. How can one person manage to write both "Dragon Quest" and "Spike at Your Service"?
In any case, inconsistent characterization is a symptom of any show with multiple writers. Fan fiction has the same problem writ large; everyone has different interpretations of the characters and writes them accordingly. That's part of the fun, though it is frustrating when the inconsistency is canon.
2668114
Sorry. I meant to provide a link to your gallery, but I couldn't remember your DeviantArt account. 2668037, you'll be pleased to know that Bardic has been making my ideas look a lot better, as with this one.
2668149
Sadly, Dash isn't a planeswalker. Not unless you count Double Rainboom.
2668155
Hmm. I hadn't thought of how the costume could be used to disguise distinguishing features. And Rarity made it, so that's certainly a possibility. Good thought.
Obviously, after the events of this episode, the aversion spell broke down under the sheer number of incidents and the road was decommissioned.
2668167
That's not an exclamation point and a question mark. That's an exploded interrobang. (‽)
Hatchling Ghostwriter is basically a bullying Notion Thief.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
I think your cards are balanced, Foamy. The fact that I'm returning often to look at your card wares is telling; I usually don't look at fan made mtg. It's usually not my thing :P
Now, gameplay wise, I think your cards would do well as sealed sets. For constructed... eheh, not gonna lie, the lack of stand-out bombs and removal wouldn't be appealing enough for an environment filled with spikes
Definitely better used a sealed expansion.
Flavour, new mechanics, and balance are done really well. I'm especially surprised with new mechanics, since fans have a tendency to make them really OP. It's distinct cuz it's on multiple cards.
I'm actually kinda interested in seeing if you've done any non-pony mtg stuff. I wonder how good you actually are with flavour, if it can catch my attention if it ain't mlp.
Also, how long have you been making fan cards? I'm thinking that it's when you started in Ice Age. The cards seem to have experience behind them.
Oh, and the flavour texts are friggin hilarious at times
That episode was all kinds of inconsistent, huh?
Maybe she's talking about peat instead? It must be some kind of pegasus idiom that doesn't translate well into English.
"Quick, Pinkie, teach me to swim!"
(Costs that include more than one sacrifice of the same permanent can’t be activated.)
Is that actually supported in the current comprehensive rules, or would this card be a Matt Tabak headache?
Well, that could be solved by padding out the costumes a bit to obscure the body shape of the wearer. Applejack is probably still a lot bigger and more muscular than Twilight, but if they each have their own costume and Rainbow doesn't get the chance to examine each MDW closely than that could explain it.
2668173
It's not just Fluttershy's cart, the carriage that Celestia rides around also ignores physics pretty casually.
just found this, the Mane 6 were not praising their own deeds when they talked with Dash, they were praising Mare Do Well, same as everyone else
3375056
Yes, but they were Mare-Do-Well. By praising her, they're praising themselves.
3375069 it would have stood out if they hadn't though