Jan
28th
2015
The most gloriously random yet awesome thing I have ever seen... · 2:15am Jan 28th, 2015
Still working on next chapter. Will have it up soon.
- Member Since 30th Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Nov 8th, 2020
Bucking Nonsense
A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Wisest Men.
Bucking Nonsense
Joined 30th Dec, 2013 ·
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11/10
It's a chicken, I tell you! A giant chicken!
11 drunk emperor Mcawesome/1
Isn't this exactly the opposite of that one animated film about the bear whose hibernation spot is built over by a factory, and no one believes him when he says "no really, I'm a fucking bear"?
This character here would embrace that. "My word, sir, are you a bear?" "Roar [No, I'm just a man in a fur coat]"
Must've been a fun game.
If I played D&D my (still theoretical) character would probably be okay with that.
Sort of like "Oh, you're a bear? Cool!"
What in the name of all that is random?
Ah, the story of Sir Bearington. An old one, but a good one none the less.
So... He wears a disguise to look like human guys, but he's not a man he's a chic- I mean bear...? Lulz
This is awsome!!
The only thing that surpasses that is this:
Oh god I can't stop laughing. It hurts so good!
I need to send that to someone to add to the D&D room on our TS3 server.
Even if the guest failed an INT check.
*sigh*
If only my 3.5 players were so creative
Still, 11/10, would die laughing again.
...please excuse me while I lose my shit...
AHHHHAHAHAHA! Oh god! I can't stop laughing!!!!
to funny
I'd rather be a Bard.
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14441655/images/1301702305272.jpg
Ah Yes. Sir Bearington... I once considered doing a fic where everyone is shipped with Bearington. Never left the ground though.
Ahh the good old Sir Bearington. Along with the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo it is truly one of the classics.
2752206 I made a Gelatinous Cube character once that absorbed a Beholder's Eye (the big one), and didn't dissolve it, because of the magic-cancelling effect on it. I classed it as a bard, and put half my points in Diplomacy, the rest in Bluff. I even made this because of an "adventure" in a tavern:
i.imgflip.com/gwqv2.jpg
2752257
He could be friends with Harry!
Still doesn't beat the Epic Quest of Sir Squee, faerie dragon turned swashbuckler, but that's a tale for another evening.
2752279 Link?
2752264
Right up the with Tucker's Kobolds.
2752287
Sadly there is none. You see, Sir Squee was the guardian creature of the party summoner in one of my campaigns. Then one day, while he was out and about, he decided to use his allowance to purchase a large kerchief, which he used as a paraglider to help sail to the roof of the tallest tower in the city.
This gave him a majestic view indeed, up until a flock of tressym spotted him and thought he looked less 'regal' than 'delicious.' Off he went, flying kitties in rapid pursuit, some waylaid by his hallucinogenic breath, others missing turns, etc., up until he escaped by darting into an open window and slamming it behind him.
Then he realized he had discovered the lair of an evil wizard who was keeping a gorgeous princess cruelly captive. In reality, she was a pseudodragon familiar, but she was bored in her cage and wanted to go play around somewhere. She told him where he could find the key, and after acquiring a sword (read: stealing a letter opener from the mage's desk), gis Epic Quest began.
Oh dear, that is so classic gaming, run by a good DM. Have you heard of The flying Dwarf? I cant remember which game system it was in though, and due to not remembering the details, I cant make it sound good, never mind funny.
I wish Id kept a record of all the fun tmes over the last 25 years, the number of times the DM has swore at the dice, as they have given us a Critical 20, and anothe, and anothe, and his Dread Lord has rolled, Critical 1.
Anyone else had that adventure where impulsive player has managed to kill off the informer, before the adventure even began?
Or where a certain set of rolls in the extended city shopping preparation thats supposed to be a 10 minute job but takes 3 real hours, means the search for information accross the barren wastelands is completed before the players even get out of the gate?
Or the time the group sneaked into a bandit fortress by using the double double length rope to drop down the granite cliff in the back, Killed off the two wyverns in the back that were the bandits last line of defence, thinking they were just the guards, then made all their sneak and range attack rolls to kill all the bandits while they were still waiting for a frontal attack. then failed the very last roll as the sorcerer got out the front door and used an escape item before he could be hit and the spell disrupted.
Anyone else have a Dwarf in the party, who is religious? In that he suffers from a regular flying habit?
2752329 Interesting story! Too bad you don't have an more indepth version.
After lacking hours of sleep, falling asleep and then waking up to read this...
I can honest say that we the bear needs a
Beer and a beard...
That'd be awesome...
Also... Damit I was trying to think of a funny wor- ducks...
Awwwww, man! Here I was hoping for a new story! I've known this one for a year or two now! ; ;
That's just beautiful!
Should have been a chicken; instant Animaniacs reference!
Still, Sir Bearington is now one of my favorite RPG character-related crazy stories. Up there with Los Tiburon (dude, couldn't get the article right...
) and Ball-of-Arms-man.
Still nowhere near Henderson, because, damn, Henderson is a category on his own.
Have you heard of The Guy Who Kills Psionics?
The end of Saints Row IV: Enter the Dominatrix where you ride a raptor singing Walk the Dinosaur was especially random. I wish to see it in a story.
2752539 Ever read about the "hand of mercy"? Guy wanted to be awesome, tried ripping a goblin's dick off, and failed his roll XD
Ah, before I forget, culling of the hives has a los Tiburon reference. I read "I roll to pin the wings" and I was done!
My friend literally just told me about this....he also mentioned that he made a D&D character that is a monk that consists of five snails....still confused as to how that one works...
2752683
The most random ending. Ever.
2752778
...it's a game from The Behemoth. I'd be more worried if it made sense. The ending to Battleblock Theater is probably more insane...
Weirdest thing ever, this past week I discovered the same thing on the /tg/ wiki.
Its times like these I realize there is a in fact a higher power, and it is messing with me for its own amusement.
he should make a cameo in your story if you can, that would be really awesome.
2752677
Do you mean That Guy Destroys Psionics, the only character to ever exceed 2 full Hendersons on the Henderson Scale of Plot Derailment?
How about the Eternal Bear Warrior? Born a human (or other appropriate race), Tharagh becomes a Berserker Strength Barbarian, and then gains the prestige of being a Bear Warrior. But what's this? Tharagh is a gimp!
With 8 Constitution and the Frail flaw, our 7 Barbarian/1 Bear Warrior Tharagh has 28 HP, which is below the 5 * Barbarian level HP threshold required to not turn into a bear (and to not be raging). If Tharagh is healed, his rage ends, he stops being a bear... and then he begins raging again and becomes a bear.
Add Frenzied Berserker and Tharagh can continue to fight even when below -10 HP so long as he rages... which he can't stop doing unless he is healed.
2752963 That's the guy.
Is that Bear Barbarian thing doable in D&D 3.5 without homeruling stuff? I may have to try that out sometime...
Sounds like a basic episode of Chicken Boo.
Chicken disguises itself as a man,
Somebody points out he's a chicken,
People get mad at the man/woman who points it out,
Something happens that causes disguise to fall off,
Man/Woman does a cliche'd "I Told You So",
They attack,
Chicken Boo runs.
The End
This time, it's with a bear. And no one gives a f. I must say, that's brilliant.
Good luck.
-The Character
2752018 The chicken is only a disguise! It's a penguin, I tell you!
2752778 Still don't think it beats this for crazy.
But that BattleBlock one though...
2753058
Berserker Strength is an alternate class feature for Barbarians which makes them rage whenever they're below (5 * Barbarian level) health, and stop raging when they're healed and their hp rises above that threshold. Therefore, if you can gimp the character's HP enough, they will always be raging.
Bear Warrior prestige class (requires: +7 BAB which is achieved by lv7 Barbarians, Power Attack, and rage) polymorphs the character into a bear whenever they're raging. Therefore, if the character is always raging, they're always a bear.
Frenzied Berserker lets the Barbarian continue to stand and fight (even below -10 HP) as long as their rage continues. This particular Barbarian only stops raging (although only temporarily) when healed. (Note that ending the rage loses the CON buff from being a bear, and so at Barbarian 7/Bear Warrior 1 if you get healed and are still at 5 HP or lower you will die before you can start raging again.)
Also related: I once had a rogue who was atheist in a setting where clerics regularly conversed directly with their gods.
My rogue had epic levels of Bluff, and I had fun convincing those clerics that the sky was plaid and their gods didn't exist.
Ah yes Mister Bearington.
If I remember the full story correctly, he was originally the party Druid's animal companion, was later made an awakened animal and then took the class levels.
*looks through bookmarks* Ah here's the expanded version, with funny pictures included: http://funnydndstories.com/apps/blog/show/5750289-mr-bearington/
Reminds me of Animaniacs and the giant chicken, Boo. "You wear a disguise, you look like human guys, but you're not a man, you're a chicken, Boo."
2752256 Time to start learning to play a Lyre
2753397 Would you happen to have source book names for where that prestige class and alternate class feature are?
Also, how much of a CON bonus is that Rage giving that being healed to less than 5 would drop them all the way down to the instant death number? (What was that in 3.5 anyways... I know in 4th it was either negative half max HP or negative max HP...)
I usually prefer to have magic and had been planning on playing a Human Duskblade with one level in Sorceror (Sorceror level would be modded by the Battle Sorceror variation from Unearthed Arcana and possibly the Metamagic Specialist class feature option from PHB2) I was then going to fill all of my Feat slots with the Draconic Feats from Complete Arcana and at 3rd level I was going to take the Battle Caster Feat from the same book so that once I hit Duskblade 4 I can wear Heavy Armor without risking spell failure. (Duskblade 4 should be attained at ECL 5)
But, anywho I got distracted there... The group I'm getting ready to play with has a large amount of squishies and only one player who plans on playing a pure melee class that is originally intended to be a "tank" class so it might be more valuable to have a Barbearian than my planned d8 hit die melee caster that can't even wear Medium armor until Level 3.
2753670
Berserker Strength is in PHB 2, as an alternate option to the normal rages.
Bear Warrior is in Complete Warrior
Frail is in Unearthed Arcana
With 8 constitution, the Barbarian gets 5 hp/level on average if you're rolling the HD each level (some GMs have you get max value at level 1 and/or straight up take the average of the HD, some give you the full value each level so it'd be 11 hp/level). The Frail flaw reduces that by 1, so it's 4 hp/level average (or 10 hp/level for generous GMs). Bear Warrior has the same HD as Barbarian, so at level 8 this puts you at 32 hp on average (I miscalculated above with 28 hp, that's for level 7 but Bear Warrior 1 requires level 8), which is less than 5 * Barbarian level (5 * 7 = 35).
A level 1 Bear Warrior gets +4 constitution (+2 CON mod) while turned into a bear, giving 2 * level hp (16 at level 8). As mentioned, this particular Bear Warrior stops raging for a moment when healed, dropping his hp by 16 points. If, after receiving the healing (and before losing the bear form), he's at 5 hp or less, that means he'll be below -10 hp after losing the bear form. In 3.5, -10 is death. (In 4e, -half max is death.)
In order to keep this build stable (assuming rolling average on your HD each level), you'd want at least Barbarian 16 (assuming the GM is capping the characters at level 20), which means you can't reach Bear Warrior 5 (when the bear changes from black bear to brown bear, which would double the strength and constitution bonuses). If the campaign goes to epic levels, you can take Barbarian 24/Bear Warrior 5 and have a level left over.
You could choose a race with a constitution penalty (going with 6 constitution) so that you could take more Bear Warrior levels, but that would quickly mean getting healed causes you to lose more hp than you have max health (and even put you below -10 hp no matter how much healing you received), particularly once you hit Bear Warrior 5, losing 4 * level hp upon healing instead of 2 * level.
Also, I misremembered the details of Frenzied Berserker. In order to get the whole "still fighting at -1000000 hp" thing, you need level 4 Frenzied Berserker, and on top of that the frenzy doesn't count as the same thing as a rage, so Berserker Strength won't keep the frenzy going. (Although Bear Warrior turns you into a bear for either frenzy or rage.) It also means that for a non-epic campaign, you can't do always-on bear form and have the Deathless Frenzy feature, since you'd need Barbarian 20/Bear Warrior 1/Frenzied Berserker 4, which doesn't fit a level 20 character.
Of course, if you roll poorly on your HD each level, you can fit in more non-Barbarian levels. But watch out for how much health you'll lose when you get healed!
(This build is soooo janky!)