Why Starlight Glimmer Must Die · 1:30am May 16th, 2016
It has come to my attention that despite the best efforts of sincere and dedicated people, Hasbro has still not given us an episode featuring Starlight Glimmer's lifeless body swinging from the end of a rope. I will therefore give you the best, the final, the irrefutable argument for
WHY STARLIGHT GLIMMER MUST DIE.
Spoiler for the humor-impaired: this is humor. or maybe just stupidity.
Just look at these pictures. Look at them.
Fan art, too:
Do you see now how Starlight Glimmer ruins everything she touches, every scene she appears in?
That's right, folks. I'm talking about color balance. What this picture (x-the-bubbly-one) doesn't have:
Doesn't it look like it wants to tilt over and slide off your screen?
We've already got the pink-to-purple end of the spectrum well-covered, with Pinkie, Cadence, Flurry Heart, Diamond Tiara, Cheerilee, Berry Punch, Twilight, and Spike. We've already seen how Spike, the natural star of the show, has been shoved into the background time and time again simply because his colors are too similar to Twilight's. Now what will happen when two bookish ponies of nearly the same color fight for center stage?
And seriously, what's happening to the show's diversity? What have they got against ponies of other colors? Would Starlight have gotten this role had she been forest green or plum purple? I think we all know the answer to that.
Anyway, Starlight is this wishy-washy, sun-bleached in-between color that blends well with nopony.
Nopony.
Nopony. She doesn't even match her "best friend" unless the animators put in a green background to negotiate between them.
No wonder he left. You want to understand the magic of friendship? Look at this!
True friendship is color-coordinated, ponies!
But that's not the worst. Not by a long shot. No, we can expect no redress from Hasbro, for this is a deliberate attack on Twilight Sparkle and on the very fanbase that feeds them. Look at this color chart:
Twilight Sparkle is not lavender. Twilight is periwinkle, or lilac, or possibly orchid. Starlight Glimmer is the lavender unicorn.
Years of trying have proven conclusively that it is impossible to write ponyfiction without using the phrase "the lavender unicorn." And now, anytime anyone writes that phrase, they will be writing about Starlight Glimmer.
If that's not a smoking gun, I don't know what is. 
Maybe you're a lavender unicorn.
Once again your irrational prejudice against the pink shines through.
Yeah, but did you see her spats? You can't argue with that.
I love the Starlight Doesn't Deserve Forgiveness group. :D It's hilarious.
3946861 You're just a tool of the pinktriarchy.
There'll be no confusion, though, because Twilight's an alicorn now!
runs
He better call Starlight with the good hair.
Except they write Twilight as "The Lavender Alicorn" now.
Oh god
So you're complain that the character that's clearly having big problems clashing with other ponies... clashes with other ponies?
3946868
I'd point out where you're wrong, but then you'd just accuse me of "pinksplaining."
3946867 You know, that was actually intended as a serious group?
3946867 Then you're really missing out on the "Starlight Glimmer's Redemption is My Chosen Irrelevant Nitpick About the Most Recent Season of My Little Pony. I Am Going to Cry Loudly About It and You Cannot Stop Me From Doing So Under Any Circumstances Because You Don't Understand My Pain." group.
3946889 Huh, I kind of missed that. Maybe I shouldn't have posted there.
The funny thing is that the other group, the one that wasn't at all serious, got invaded by people who thought it was.
We all know you just don't want the competition with Sunset What's-her-name.
3946907 Holy shit you actually posted in that group.
The solution is obviously tie-dyed ponies. Let the color run free.
3946915 Holy shit, they were serious! I got an angry warning from the admin for "trolling". They only want serious discussions of the moral status of Starlight Glimmer.
Couldn't have said it better myself
3946928 Yeah, it's honest-to-god serious.
That's the scary part.
3946928
You should see some of blogposts from the group founder about how horrible certain ponies are, and he's dead serious about it.
She is just so adorable. Kill it with cute fire.
3946928
Ponies are serious business.
And yeah, I've heard stories about that group. Let's leave it at that.
Also, that picture of Fluttershy, Starlight, and Twilight snuggling is so adorable!
I know exactly what this is. You thought you could keep this hidden, huh? You thought you could just prance around SPEWING your bigotry as if you were some arbiter of justice? No, I'm on to you.
I've seen you two together.
That's right. I have pictures too. I wasn't going to do this, but you just had to go around trying to DESTROY the lives of others just so your little mare could have the spotlight. Well, folks, here it is:
s25.postimg.org/jj6mv9hnj/bad_horse_meets_Twi_Flut_1651x512.png
Our little Baddy there with— would you believe it— FLUTTERSHY!!
You feel that, Baddy? That's fear and regret. I bet you haven't felt that in a while, have you? Well let me tell you, it's just downhill from here.
You see folks, Bad Horse has been a bad horse, and it all goes back to that rabid creature there with him. Fluttershy, ever since our periwinkle unicorn made a fool of her one fine Summer Sun pre-Festival in front of her critters, has felt a little— how should I put it?— angry. Furious. Enraged. She has been trying, opportunistic gal that she is, at every conceivable moment to humiliate Twilight so she could have her revenge. Nothing is too degenerate for this young filly if only it could mean having that sweet sense of satisfaction.
I mean it. From stealing the Princess's pet during a ceremony prepared by Twilight, to outright vandalism of the royal ballroom in public as Twilight's company, Fluttershy is a pony with a plan, and to blazing Tartarus with anyone and anything that gets in her way.
And then comes Bad Horse. I'll be honest with you, I don't know what it is that that yellow harpy ponied up, but the picture tells no lies. Fluttershy and Bad Horse are a thing. An item, some might say. Like two sleazy floor traders there to do one another's bidding.
Well, Baddy, tell us. Tell us her bidding. And while you're at it, tell us how running a barbed-wire fence between Twilight and her new student— the first student she has truly apprenticed, mind you— is supposed to be "defending" Twilight. Go on.
...
That's what I thought.
Oh, good. Someone else wants Starlight to be locked in a room of neurotoxin, then have the remains be burned and buried underneath an apple tree, so we can eat the fruits that grew from her decaying flesh.
Someone went off their meds again.
3946969 What? No, you got me pegged wrong. I don't want that. 'Coz I'm not eatin' that fruit.
3946971 Why, you--wait. Is it Sunday already? Oh. Yeah. Thanks for the reminder.
I just hate that her VA can't sell a line
I want to respond seriously to this in so many ways it hurts.
I, uh, actually do hate what they've done with Starlight.
Say what you will, Starlight and Twilight will have hot pink foals and there's nothing you can do about it. All hail the pinktriarchy!
3946889
The continuing threads are making me think that may be true.
Next you'll tell me the Fallout: Equestria groups are serious...
3947023 I have some bad news for you.
3947023 I love how your avatar is nearly always appropriate to your comments.
3946977 Wuss. Back in my day, we died all the time, and we liked it! (See if you can spot the reference)
3947030
Found the reference: 3946977
3947030 Sure I can! ... with Google.
If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'.
If Twilight were replaced by Rainbow Dash in the second picture I totally would expect her to retract her hoof on a hoof-bump.
3946867 3946889 3946936 3946941 Folks, please do me a favor & don't go to the serious Starlight Glimmer Doesn't Deserve Forgiveness group threads and upvote and downvote comments there if you're not in that group, & please undo your votes if you have ('coz it looks like some ponies have). It's their party; let's not crash it, or they might crash ours. See the downvotes above.
...I'll get the rope.
If Starlight Glimmer must dye, I say we make her green. Light green, preferably. Hopefully that'd help with the problem of colour balance.
3947141
I'll admit that group has its, stuff, but it's not all bad.
I mean I'm only in that group to see why people hate Starlight so much. Honestly I'm not sure what to make of most of it. I always thought of her as pink for some reason. Then I saw your color squares and realized Starlight was of the violet spectrum. Sorta, but I still think she looks more pink honestly. 
Twilight will forever be the lavender unicorn. Starlight can be the pinkish one.
3947270
But green is such a hard color to work with. Why not something else, like say Trixie blue?
That's the best shade of blue and it works for everything!
3947025
I'm sad to say it's true...
3947270
If she must dye, why settle for just one color at all?
Sudden thought.
1. It is impossible to write pony fiction without using the words "lavender unicorn" as years of trying demonstrated.
2. But as you have demonstrated here, Twilight Sparkle is not lavender.
3. Therefore, people have been writing pony fiction for years without an actual, extant lavender unicorn behind it.
4. This disconnect produces an empty space in the universe, that Starlight coalesced into. Because nature abhors a vacuum.
And now, nature abhors Starlight Glimmer.
Balance.
Now we know why her haters hate her. They are all color-sensitive!
Every time she appears on screen their eyes start to burn and they scream for her to go away, but she doesn't and they can do nothing about it, so their mind reacts with intuitive hatred as the only means to fight her.
They go through purgatory during each and every episode she has a role in!
Can you see what you're doing, Hasbro? CAN YOU SEE IT?!
3947141
So I'm good to do it, then. :V
3947568 I just wanted Communism to triumph.
3946928
For a second I was confused which Starlight Glimmer group you were referring to. I was going to be concerned if the admin of the "Starlight Glimmer's Redemption is My Chosen Irrelevant Nitpick About the Most Recent Season of My Little Pony. I Am Going to Cry Loudly About It and You Cannot Stop Me From Doing So Under Any Circumstances Because You Don't Understand My Pain" group gave you a stern warning pertaining to decorum.
3946928 I got a PM from an admin in there once for posting a reply to someone, stating why Starlight Glimmer doesn't ruin episodes as they so vehemently claimed, and how their massive hatred of a simple cartoon pony was foolish and did nothing but make the show less enjoyable for them and anyone who watches with them. The PM told me that if I did it again, I would be banned from the group for "trolling".
I find Starlight a dull character, but I don't get the venemous HATRED for her. She's a cute cartoon pony, not someone who murdered your parents.