I Can't Believe It... · 2:31am May 28th, 2016
As you may have noticed, I'm not one who likes to talk about updates in my personal life. Only on occasions such as when I'm going on a campout to let you guys know I'll be gone, or when I admit I'm sick, whether from a cold or a possible kidney stone (been drinking lots of water to keep that from happening again, even though it's almost been two years). I'm just more focused on the reading and the writing of stories, really. And if there's something that upsets me, I keep it to myself. I don't really like being pitied.
But... I can't really hold this particular event in.
Yesterday, I came home from a gathering with other folks studying the same online course I am, and I find a mysterious vehicle parked at the side of the house a little too close to where I usually park the van. Confused, I just parked in the driveway, and went inside the house. That's when my sister Artsy Notes informed me that our youngest horse, Shiloh, was sick with colic and had to go to the vet.
And now, a day later, he has to be put down.
It was bad... so bad that he had actually collapsed and couldn't get up (that was the event that prompted Dad, who came home from work early, to call the vet, according to my sister). He managed to make it through the night, but as far as I know, his chances of surviving that blockage in his gut had lessened. It's rare for me to see Mom cry, but that's how she reacted when Dad gave her the news of what the vet recommended.
We've put down horses before. But... Shiloh was the one that was born into our family instead of bought.
He was a surprise; we had bought his mother, Maya, several months earlier, and found out about her pregnancy a couple weeks before Shiloh's birth. He and his mama stayed at our cousins' house for a few months until we made the corral bigger for three horses (those two and our oldest horse, April). Then, we raised him from a foal for the next four years.
We took a couple weeks to name him when he was still a newborn, withholding any names until my brother (who was away on an LDS mission in Brazil) had his input; bro's suggestion was the one we chose. I still remember that little cutie bucking around in excitement from time to time, or getting in our faces when we were in the corral shoveling up their "fluff" (yes, that's a euphemism for you-know-what). He got that from his mama.
Dad's been training Shiloh to carry riders for him to take April's place when she's too old to go on, and he had grown into a handsome gelding, with a cute and curious personality. He had a cute friendship with Bailey (the dog) for a time, to the point where he tried to groom her at some points. Dang horse also liked to paw at the barn (made of metal, really noisy) and push around the bins we put hay in to feed them. Whenever I fed the horses, he would greet me, and I'd pet him and say, "Hey, there, Big Boy!" And then throw hay at him because the idiot wouldn't move over enough to let me get it into the corral.
He was so young. Just four years old.
Mama Maya and Auntie April have been crying out for him. Horses tend to have separation anxiety. Too bad we can't return him this time. Artsy Notes has been blaming herself for not noticing something was wrong sooner; I better give her a hug the next time I see her. Our cousins and that trainer who discovered the signs of Maya's pregnancy... not hard to guess what their reaction to the tragedy is.
It's going to feel so wrong to not have the big boy there the next time I feed the horses.
Oh, no! That's terrible. I can't even fathom the loss to you and your whole family, human and equine.
I'll be keeping all of you in my thoughts.
You have my sincerest condolences. I'm sorry I can't offer more.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost cats and dogs, I've never had a horse, but I know that he was a member of your family.
Oh Sketcha, I am so, so sorry. I was hoping the surprise was a new car.
*hug*
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Thanks for your concern. We're coping, though it hurts to miss the little bugger.
I have a friend who owns a few horses, and once I remember her crying because she thought her main horse, Sunday, had caught a disease and was going to pass. Luckily he didn't. I really couldn't imagine what it would be like for her to actually loose him. Some people say they're just horses, and they aren't that important, but obviously that statement is nothing but false. Pets are members of the family, and losing a family member is tough, whether it be human or animal. I can apologize. I can give you my condolences. But I can also give you some advice: Instead of thinking about the fact that Shiloh has passed, think about the wonderful life you gave him. He had never experienced abuse, or had been unloved in anyway. He's probably had some of the best 4 years a horse can have. It will cheer you up a bit to think about that, at least he died happy.
I'm so, very sorry.
I'm sorry for your loss.