I spent a good amount of time thinking of a witty comment for my bio, this is what I came up with.
Okay, so I haven't made an update in forever, and decided to post one rather than just leaving everything in the dark.
Commissions are now CLOSED
Hello everyone!I've decided to open up commissions at $7 per 1k words. If you are interested, send me a PM where we can discuss the story!
I will round up to 400 words, so you won't have to pay more if the story ends around 1,400 words 
First off, Merry Christmas!
Second off, I should have a story out today. I hope to have it out around the middle of the day, but there are a few things I need to add or fix, and I first need to sleep before I overwork myself. So, there's a chance it will be slightly late.
This is me trying out some speech recognition software, hope it goes well.
So, I really have enough motivation and want to post a story before the end of the year. Most likely on Christmas, though no story will be Christmas-themed. Anyways, if everything works out that will be the case. Here's me hoping everything does work out!
Donald Trump won.
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"The wall isn't to keep out the them, it's to keep in the you"
R.E.M. put it best
All we can do now is wait and see what happens.
...Where's John Wilkes Booth when you need him?
Yep he won, now we can watch him make America great again