Dec
3rd
2016
Who's got the biggest dick? · 5:04pm Dec 3rd, 2016
First, I want my followers to know that I'm dedicated to finishing commissions no matter what, and that after graduating, getting married, and getting a decent job, my life is finally settling enough to the point where I can dedicate time to writing clop once more. Expect to see a new chapter of "Ruts in the Path" today.
But lately I've had a question in my mind, and I've been really curious to see what the community at large thinks. So I wanted to ask you all which stallion do you think has the biggest dick? And maybe some other well-endowed candidates as well. On the flipside, who do you think is the smallest? And who are some other smaller stallions?
BIG Mac duh.
4327402 Any runners up? How about smallest stallion?
4327416 Prince blueblood
I like to think that some unassuming stallion has the biggest dick, like Caramel, while someone big and fit has the smallest, like Thunderlane.
Well it certainly depends on the situation and pony in question. In your recent story, the Life and times of Deep throat for instance, Gizmo, a nerd and Big Mac a working stallion were pretty evenly tied in regards to their 'equipment'.
4327484 I mean in general though. Like, if you were to line up every guy in the show, who's got it and who doesn't?
4327492
I imagine that Mr Cake would be up there. Having twins of different varieties is either testament to your prowess or your colourful family history. Shining Armour would be well maintained I imagine, satisfying an Alicorn of Love is no mean feat.
It would be pretty easy to add Big Mac. He's from a big clan, I imagine that he inherited his father's virility.
Trouble Shoes, a pretty big guy. I guessing that the rest of him is up to scale. Which can be problematic for the ladies, or not depending on their preferences.
I imagine that in terms of race, Earth Ponies has the biggest, Pegasi middle and Unicorns the smallest. Why?
Earth Ponies have a greater physical abilities and outnumber the other tribes.
Pegasus need all their energy to fly and control the weather.
Unicorns have magic which I imagine takes up a lot of their energy.
I imagine that there is magic that can 'adjust' ones equipment if they are that self conscious. But in the end it is an implement for breeding and reproduction, so long as it performs its purpose I doubt nature cares little of the size and shape.
Troubleshoes. It's built to the same scale as the rest of him. This is not entirely a good thing for him.
Spike is the king.
Celestia is hung like a proper god of ponies, obviously. Marginally-smaller Nightmare Moon understood that coming in second is the same thing as losing; hence the war. "Refused to lower the moon" is just how ancient historians politely referred to Nightmare Moon waving her ass at the entire court while questioning their virility, shoving her sister's head under her tail when she tried to object, and reverse-humping the solar monarch's face until orgasm.
Cadance is embarrassingly underendowed for an alicorn. To her relief, Shining Armor still hasn't noticed that his wife's a hermaphrodite. Or that she's the author of the bestselling "Pink Passion: A Modest Guide to How to Please your Mare." Or that all of the maids have become mysteriously pregnant. There's a lot of things that Shining doesn't know.
...Chrysalis knows. Every night she's plagued with wet dreams of conquering Equestria and finally taking Cadance and her bite-size candy-cock for her own. It's the kind of day of which she's been dreaming since she was small.
Luna and Twilight are too busy having steamy wild alicorn sex every time reasonable ponies would be measuring their junk, so who the hell knows how big they are.
4328018 I was actually wondering more about the stallions, since they're not as popular as the mares of the show and therefore speculated on less.
4328047
I don't have anything brilliant to say about your actual question. I tend to focus much more on futas because almost all of my favorite characters are female (as are most of the characters in general), so I haven't really given it a lot of thought.
I haven't studied the subject, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that in real life there's probably a strong correlation between general body size and genital size. So "draft-ponies" like Big Mac, Blueblood, and Shining Armor are probably going to be pretty high in the rankings. Smaller-genitalled stallions would include foals and just normal-sized stallions like Caramel, Sunburst, or Dr. Hooves. Some unknowns would include ponies with unusual physiologies like Bulk Biceps (are his genitals the same relative size as his muscles, or... other parts?) and non-ponies like Discord and Tirek.
As a storyteller though I think you should do whatever you think is fun. If you want to write a story where Blueblood's stallionhood is as small as his honor and Spike's is as big as his courage, knock yourself out.
As the old saying goes: It's not how big your characters' dicks are. It's what they do with them.
The ranking is as follows
1: non-ponies ( spike mode greed, discord, tirek )
2: big mac, troubleshoes clyde, shining armor
3: Most stallions
4: normal-sized stallions
5: foals
Looking at all the comments... umm for strictly Stallions, from largest to smallest:
Large tier: Troubleshoes, Any Train pulling Stallion, then Big mac, Shining, Sheriff Silverstar, sunburst has larger balls, so that's why he doesn't like travelling around as much ;D jk jk
middle tier: Quibble Pants <3, Hoity Toity, Dr. Whooves, Dr. Calballeron, Soarin, Filthy Rich, Mr. Cake would have large balls but mid tier, Countess Coleratura's Back up dancers (ooh you should have an orgy with them sometime :3), Snowflake, Zephyr
Smaller tier: Caramel, Gladmane, Cheese Sandwich would have large balls but small tier, Double Diamond, SvenGallop totally has the smallest, not because I don't like him... but... just his personality in general...
tried only getting the main or more recent stallions...