Pony Gear Solid: Backstroke of the West · 5:59am Jan 30th, 2017
I was messing around with Google Translate on Skype, with Editor Man and some other fabulous people, plugging in bits of stories and reverse-translating them to see what came out. Just now, for fun, I ran Killjoy's introductory scene through a Japanese translator and then back into English. The result is too hilarious not to share with the world.
Additionally, I've been dying to share an excerpt from the upcoming chapter. I've decided to give you the first page or so of 13 after a run through the same translation software. I do this for three reasons: This excerpt is considerably more polished than the dozens of pages which follow, and will probably be found in the finished product with little in the way of substantial edits; it doesn't really give anything away in terms of spoilers, and the translation renders it so incoherent that, even if there were spoilers, they would be completely lost on you.
Hope you enjoy! 
-FROM PONY GEAR SOLID CHAPTER TWELVE: IT SINKS DEEP IN THE MUD-
Ultimately, the horse turned around and a surprising twilight was laughing with a wide, simple smile not reaching the amber eyes. "Hey, it's a small world, who is? Why have I stabbed Shining Armor's child's sys in the frontier?
They did not expect us to find us.
Twilight deflects in response to the mare's words. There was no hope for rescue and reinforcement, and she looked different from Snake.
"Shining armor?" He opened his mouth. "seriously?
Before she started again on Guard Male, she shot a withered eyes on him. "Yes, that is mine." She waved her hand. "Ha"
Mare laughed. "You were the best mares at the wedding, what is your name? Starlight ... Shimmer?
"Twilight Sparkle" said she with a tone that matched her flat expression.
She did her best to ignore Snake's snicker.
Male smiled. "Close enough? Heh." She caught up with the ground, moved her dreaming person from the right front leg to the left, and headed to Twilight. "Evening evening, wedding ceremony, there were lots of punching and punching than I expected, the reception was not that much fun, but DJ was pretty big," she strangely turned his head on Twilight It was. "Come to think of it, are you and me like that in 15 minutes?
Twilight became hard and shined bright enough to be seen from orbit. "Sorry, I did not - I did not - -"
"Are you convinced?" Her jaw wandered unconsciously across her face. "Because I swore, I made some unicorns for that, if it were not you--
"I did not have an anus, at my brother 's wedding." Twilight said through painful teeth.
"Maybe you should have it," Snake muttered. He had a magazine of his rifle in his hand, so he was absorbed in gun receivers. "A little action may have wondered for your mood"
"No pony heard your opinion!" Twilight cried out with her face burning bright.
Snake was not as great as looking up from his handcuffs.
"I am OK, it's okay, there is no harm to the examination," said the horse. "When I think about it, I am convinced that my unconcert can not be relied on because the unicorns are white, fairly cheap, I'm drunk anyway, I will compensate for the lost time later for - "
"Who are you?" Twilight is ringing, surprised and the horse recoils. "Look, I am all thankful for the rescue, but despite knowing me with sight and reputation, I do not know who you are! You start my propositioning before,
"Oh, that's right," the horse was surprised. She jumped to the ground and turned the wings back. "Well, ..." She coughed, she threw herself up and laughed again. "You have the honor of working on that one thing" -
"Captain Kill Joy!"
"Oh well, steel wool!"
-FROM PONY GEAR SOLID CHAPTER THIRTEEN: UNDER THE DIRTY SAND OF BLOOD-
"As you live for me ... he is alive for you.
Since the light from her horn is hanging over the walls and ceiling, once she was at that thickness, it was very opaque at the beginning of her journey, the darkness consumed all became easy to handle. Twilight thought that Heavy / Geebee would make it far worse for entering infinite blackness, but in reality, the darkness was not comparable to almost a single hevey. Or half Heebie. Heb. It was not so bad. It was not the worst part about the tunnel.
Rather, the tunnel itself was the worst part of the tunnel. After accomplishing her peace with the collapse of occasional dirt from the dark and cold and her scalp crushed ceiling, Twilight realized similarity between being swallowed by a whale walking in an intermittent tunnel I had a misfortune to do. She collapses into her component protein for deeper, deeper, nutritional supplementation towards a large pool of stomach acid,
"You are wrong, Twilight?" She shook her head and snapped. "Well, are you seriously thinking when you are lonely?"
Words echoed into confined space. Lonely, Lonely, Lonesome ...
Twilight rolled his eyes. "Stupid acoustics.
Well, it turned out that traveling through tunnels is not the worst part even for whale's. It was the fact that she had to do it in No Pony to speak. Rainbow was ahead. Snake is ...
who knows? Yakiyaki stan. Neyshelles. Somewhere else. There is not anywhere.
And the others were back to pony building. Even Twilight alone could drill deep into the earth deeply and we could take the step one step she took. Once it did not bother her, she spent years living with her friend for comfort and support. Now, she had her idea to maintain her company.
And I think, I think I became barbarous outdoors.
When she entered the cave, the fog became thin. Initially, she was falling asleep in a rainbow-colored fog, but as she walked away farther, it faded until the ground was completely defenseless. Twilight was able to see the footprints of those hatched from eggs. Deep and round gouge is largely as big as her hooves and there are not many footprints. She stumbled upon an old tracker to one "wagh! Surprisingly she later saw her progress little by little.
I do not really need a way to guess which direction things took. In addition to a leftward curve curving her path at a 90 degree angle to the entrance, the tunnel ran at a gentle slope but linearly. It simplified things, which also meant that the magic she had expected to see her slew was more or less useless. As obviously known in layopposition, the acoustic mapping spell (or "sonar arts · sit") was a magical nice bit with many applications, but with multiple canvases It was utilized by the unicorn. It is used by a single caster and its effective range is painful, as well as inducing headaches. I thought that she saved time and effort and minimized how much she relied on the spell unless the tunnel maintained its orbit and started forking on a fork divided into more forks .
-BONUS ROUND-
Diamond Tiara's letter to Cheerilee from "Teach Me Goodness" reverse-translated from Chinese!
"I do not expect holidays, I used to, but I have not."
"My parents have villas in Neuselles, but I go there from time to time in the spring and summer, but really tropical and warm, nice beaches and fruit drinks, and a salty scent, I know I will not have fun."
"My mother wants to treat domestic workers like dirty, she does not respect, insults the waiter, refuses to give them tips, she tries to control as usual, she insists everything else in her way, otherwise she will fit.
"My father spends a lot of time ignoring what my mom says, everything is rude, and he's very fond of her, the best way to make her happy, and she always means terrible terrible things.
Do you know where I'm going?
Do you understand why I am?
If they do not want my stuff, they ignore me and make me lonely. I talked to a nopony on a tropical beach for a month, sharing it with the nopony and nopony minds. Finally my dad will throw away the money until I say I love him. We will go home and everything we do on vacation will be at home again.
"Do you know what's really fun? It's been a long time for a long time and I've always thought you should take action against other men and teachers and I think it's just horrible things that I think I realized I grew up I noticed that this is not another problem, I learned a lesson in my school.You taught me a better way from my friends, classmates and teachers.I am happier I am with you in my vacation ?
"I will not really be excited to go on vacation because I know I will not be happy with my parents, but really I am alone and I do not think ever really love me 100% but I do not Think they forgive me how to deal with the silver spoon, Apple Bloom, Sweet Bell and Sukovo - when I return to school, I'm with you.
"This is very stupid, I can not believe that those things should be so busy so concealed,
Cheerilee glanced suspiciously at the thermos of tea that Pinkie had given her. "What did she say she brewed this from...?"
I don't know what you're talking about, this is exactly how I remember this scene playing out!
Glad you seem to be making some progress with the new chapter. You also may very well have inspired me to give a scene from my own crossover the old Backstroke of the West treatment!
Other than a minor typo this is fine and totally correct and absolutely topical for the site. A+++ would read again.
Fun editing fact:
Posh is lying to save face. This isn't a reverse translated version. It's just what his chapters look like before I get the chance to correct them.
Gotta love google translate. this is why we have such great lines like 'all of your base are belong to us'
4402292 Damn. So close to the coveted S-ranked review.
4402369 He's actually right. If anything, Editor Man would encourage me to put greater emphasis on all the various anuses and their roles in the story.