Fullmetal Pony—Review · 12:55am Aug 25th, 2017
Fullmetal Pony
by Leoshi
Adventure
(Currently) 52,480 words
In this world, there exist ponies with special abilities to manipulate objects and transform one object into another. These ponies are known as alchemists. However, the process comes with a cost; the basic law of alchemy states that in order to gain something, you must sacrifice something of equal value.
Twilight Sparkle is one such alchemist, her talents renowned across the land. In an accident several years ago, she nearly lost her older brother, Shining Armor, due to a transmutation gone horribly wrong. Twilight's quick thinking allowed her to contain her brother's soul in his suit of armor, but only by paying a great price in exchange.
Now, to get back what they've lost, the siblings embark on a journey to find the elusive Alicorn Amulet, which is fabled to enhance the powers of alchemy...and bypass the Law of Equivalent Exchange.
This story is, at its core, adventure. There is a comprehensive magic system (apparently taken from Fullmetal Alchemist), fleshed out characters, and a ton of worldbuilding.
Fullmetal Pony starts in media res, dropping the reader into a pitched battle of pony against pony. Powers are used, a plot is unveiled, and motivations are unknown. The Big Bad and his henchponies prepare to seal the royal palace with ice—and fail. Miserably. Rainbow Dash, or the Rainboom Alchemist, captures the henchponies, while the Big Bad escapes from Twilight and Shining Armor only for Luna to slaughter him. Brutally.
It seems like a setup for a story where the good guys turn out to be the baddies. Tension is in the air.
Then we're flung into the past. Shining Armor isn't just a suit of armor; he's a flesh-and-blood pony heading off to join the military. Twilight is a plucky little intellectual who wants to do nothing but study.
Then she discovers alchemy and sets the floor on fire. Whoops.
Once the story goes into the past, it alternates between focusing on Twilight and Shining Armor for a while. He has to deal with a commander with a mad sense of humor who yanked him out of his squad. But at least he has Cadence. Meanwhile, Twilight's studies are uncovering pieces of a larger puzzle every time she looks at it. What is alchemy, really? Can she revolutionize the field?
Probably. She's Twilight, after all.
The beginning was an odd but daring choice to make. Starting out at the end? Can be done. With an alternate universe and a new form of magic? Sure. But with the Big Bad and his henchponies killed at the start, and their evil plot foiled? Yes, but only if done right.
And this story is nothing if not done right.
Oh, there are a few bits here and there—some odd word choices, a weird sentence structure—but this story is extremely well polished. There are no spelling or grammar errors that caught my eye. There is a team of dedicated writers and idea people polishing this thing.
It's a Flagship Story, and one that's well worth the read. Again, you can find it here.
