Watch it burn

Every now and then, I get a glimpse into my mind as it existed eighteen years ago. We're going down the highway. It's summer-time, and the windows are rolled down. Sixty-five miles per hour. I'm sitting in the backseat of the car, playing my gameboy, when I randomly decide to look out the window. Back down to my hands. Back out the window.

I can't be the only one. Does anybody else get the urge to destroy something, just for destruction's sake? To take something you cherish, and set it ablaze, just to see what it feels like? Just reel back, and let it fly into the wind. Watch it shatter against a concrete barricade, or fall into the river with a satisfying 'plunk'.

Then the moment passes, and I go back to playing my game. It's not something I tend to think about whenever it comes up - just a strange, out-of-the-blue sensation. Maybe that's why I've only ever published one chapter. Between the usual artistic self-loathing and this strange urge to destroy things I actually like. Because words are cheap. Especially if you don't actually have to write them.

Comments

[flux the unhinged]

random urges to destroy, kill others and yourself? seems pretty standard human fare to me, we all have a reptilian brain after all