Saying "Thank You" the Long Way Round · 5:03pm Feb 1st, 2018
Blog Number 35: Modus Operandi Edition
In the past week, I have - on three entirely separate occasions - not only been mentioned in positive terms, but been described, sometimes literally, as "underappreciated".
I did not respond at the time because, frankly, I had no certain idea of how to do so. Not properly. A simple "thank you" is not qualified for the job.
First, a little talk about a principle of mine: One concept I keep meeting over and over, day and night, at work or at play, is the concept of balance. When writing, for example, balance hangs over every word I put down.
In settings: bloat the text with details, or have the characters talk in a vacuum?
In actions: drag a scene down with blow-by-blow accounts, or skip over it so fast the reader stumbles and blinks in confusion?
Even in characters: how often do we need reminding that Twilight Sparkle is a bookworm, and how relevant is it to depict, for instance, her style of swimming in a story about rigid behaviours?
That requires adherence to the principle of balance. There are two useful phrases for how it works, both borrowed from the discipline of cybernetics: Negative Feedback, who is the help, and Positive Feedback, who is the hindrance.
Don't be confused; these aren't ways of describing praise and criticism. Negative feedback is a poised police officer, designed to stop small changes from wandering off-course. Positive feedback is a wild child, determined to pinch those small changes and run away with them.
They're not good or bad; after all, the police can be inept or crooked or misguided, and a wild child can be just what you need in your life. But their relevance to writing should be obvious; I find it best to plan a route through the wilderness and keep a protective watch, as I go, over any excitable party members who look in danger of wandering off: wandering into the risky places on either side.
However, writing is one thing. Sending it off and seeing how it fares is quite another.
Once I receive actual critical feedback, the problem of balance becomes even more urgent. Such a thing demands a response, (they took the time, after all; it's only good manners), but what kind of response? Wander too far one way, there's the risk of coming across as - if not of outright being - smug.
After reading about all manner of cognitive biases and self-serving patterns of thought in psychology, I'm strongly convinced the world could do with less of the illusion of confidence: less loud boasting and more quiet working. Even if the latter is worth boasting about, it's worth doing first and foremost. Admittedly, I also flat-out dislike strong confidence as an unedifying spectacle in and of itself. To be frank, it sets off alarms in my head.
Wander too far another way, though, there's the risk of awkward silence, which is a stumbling failure of communication, and in any case not particularly polite.
To finish: I've been thinking about how to respond to these blogs, and "thank you" just doesn't seem adequate. Make no mistake; I am surprised and delighted by the actual posts, and I am touched that the authors have granted me such praise. But alas, there are complications, which in the interests of honesty and fairness I want to disclose before sending an unsubtle "thank you" to do a subtle job.
"For those wanting sources, here's your culprits. We keep records of every chumley who comes through here, mate, in case they want to try another stint in the nick.
- "Suspect Number One is that well-known criminal mastermind, Ceffyl Dwr, who targeted me as the first of (what I suspect will be) many nefarious shout-outs on Saturday 27th January 2018. Record says he pilfered a selection of four fics, one of which he'd already been convicted for trying to sell to the notorious Seattle's Angels gang last year.
- "Suspects Number Two and Three are members of that selfsame gang - RT "Trix-of-the-Trade" Stephens and EbonQuill (also known as the Hudson School Hustler) - who attempted to organize several hits on The Web Untangled, and also committed the crime on Saturday 27th. We have no evidence, but we suspect a coordinated attack, given how close in time these three suspects operated.
- "Suspect Number Four is a mafia boss. His last known location was on One Man's Pony Ramblings blog, where he's been known to coordinate criminal activities with a lot of lowlifes who'd easily feature on 'Fanfiction's Most Wanted'. Answers to the name of Chris, but don't let the chummy, one-of-the-crowd moniker fool you; this monster's been going after fics for years, often high-profile targets of various types and of varying levels of quality. Caught the devil comparing the opening sentences of All of a Fluttershy and Dame Trixie and the Countess of Wyrd only yesterday, after a suspicious hiatus. He musta been laying low underground, mate."
OK, fun's over.
Seriously, I cannot do better than to quote their own words. From Ceffyl Dwr:
Around this time a year ago, I stumbled across a story called Practical Nightmares Only. I can’t even remember what story I was looking for at the time, only that I became intrigued enough by the summary of this one to drop whatever it was I was doing to read it straight away. And, to coin an overused phrase, I’ve never looked back.
From there, I added a whole bunch of Impossible Numbers’ work to my RiL list (though ‘later’ turned out to be not that late in this instance), and I’ve just been more and more impressed with every story I’ve read. Not that I’ve got through them all yet (to date, 67 stories published on the site, with a lot of them being a somewhat hefty size for a single sitting), but I have exposed myself to enough content to be able to say, hand-on-heart, that Impossible Numbers [is] my favourite author on FimFiction.
From RTStephens and EbonQuill, respectively:
Impossible Numbers is a very underappreciated author and deserves more attention. Thankfully, groups like us are around to hopefully bring in a few more fans that are looking for top-notch writing. And that’s what we have here!
I am a sucker for non-linear narratives when they are done well, and this one is done very, very well. I also enjoy how the little vignettes lead to that satisfying conclusion... Impossible Numbers shapes a marvelous story about culture, patience, and respect framed around spending a few hours every day with a new friend.
From Chris:
"Semi-annual reminder that Impossible Numbers has been writing good stuff for more than seven years, produces content consistently, is an RCL inductee (with a story of which my top-line summary was “Oh, this is lovely”)... and has under 200 followers."
When I run over the first part of that sentence, I can contentedly fly over the last.
What's quoted above is what refers to me specifically. That having been said, I could - indeed, probably should - have quoted more fic-specific praise, and that is wonderful and heartening, and it's what ultimately matters; that the fics are delightful, thought-provoking, worth the time taken to escape to the fantasy world thus created. That's why they have to be balanced in the first place; to go to the right places.
But I'm only human, and I like to think not just that satisfaction is being given, but that I am the one giving it. Yes, even for a hobby, because I take it seriously. Which is admittedly why I sometimes also laugh at it.
It's not only that the praise makes me feel good, though that is a fine bonus. Praise is feedback, and since it feels like specific and accurate praise which highlights what works and why, it's the best kind of feedback. It means I'm on the right track. The system of writing - here's where the cybernetics come in - is a travelling machine, policed by negative feedback and sometimes wandering off course because positive feedback wanted a go.
But the way I see it, the journey is not one big one. I conceive of it as going through iterations, each of which ends when the story is completed (or not) and the readers are entertained (or not). Sometimes, iterations overlap or never finish, in the same way that a traveller crossing Europe might visit Paris en route to Berlin, or end up skipping Copenhagen due to illness.
You might end up with a map of the continent - in this case, 67 fics of varying quality - yet you don't plan the entire route; you're gonna have a hard enough job keeping to the course on any one journey. Again, it's a delicate balancing act. Hard enough to balance the route between cities without trying to balance an entire continent too.
So now comes the hard question, and the one that delayed my response to those blogs; how do I, therefore, respond to the specific point, without losing balance, that says I'm "underappreciated"?
To be blunt: I agree, BUT with caveats.
A quick comparison shows that, compared with many notable authors, I do have a lot of stories with low views, and I do have a curiously low followership relative to fic output. This is neither boasting nor bewailing; the numbers are there if you want to measure them. There will doubtless be plenty of authors with lower numbers than me, and I suspect some of them will also have quality works under their belts. This too is a matter of observation; we should be clear about the facts as they are.
Nevertheless, there are caveats.
Caveat 1: The main reason this should bother me - should it bother me at all - is simple; if my writing reaches fewer people, then logically I miss out on those among them who'd enjoy the works. Fair's fair, I also get a little less feedback and a little less pleasure for myself. But this is simply a question of having fewer examples of what's already good and of what I already get; people are reading my works, and I hear back from them.
Sooner or later, someone tells me they enjoy the stories I tell, sometimes at great length and with great passion. And I cannot dare to put down in words what it's like to experience in that moment, when you realize someone's left your story feeling better than when they'd started. Words are wonderful and do their best, but moments like that simply have to be experienced first-hand. More would be nice, of course, but it's a multiplication of something already good that already exists.
So long as at least one person reads the work and feels the better for it, then it has: Worth. Quality. And sufficient reason to exist.
Caveat 2: I absolutely will not interpret this as a status issue. That's a temptation with social comparisons, but I don't want to be a big name, because then it's about me and not the work.
True, I'm not immune to those thoughts and to those feelings of envy, doubt, confusion, and so on. I did declare my mere humanity earlier. This has bothered me before, and as soon as I stop being reasonable I shall probably be bothered by it again. What was, was. What is, is. What will be, will be, though I hope it will be a little less problematic in the future.
However, so long as I've got the brains to think with, I have no intention of letting those less commendable feelings get in the way of the process. Whatever the fuzzy glow of "status" is, in reality the only thing it can translate to is actual bona fide practice, which demands knowledge, not big-headedness.
Such written work as is produced, whether by me or by anyone else, is a service for those who want to sample it. It’s not a vanity project or a points-scoring competition. At its best, the work is also a service for the story itself, like creating a flower and then showing it to others, thus creating beauty. Whether the enjoyment of said beauty is mass-produced afterwards or remains a one-of-a-kind experience, the important thing is that it has quality. It measures up. It functions as intended. In a word, it's professional.
Otherwise, any "status pride" is little more than a bunch of inflated emotions, which (quite apart from my earlier comments about how distasteful I find them in and of themselves), are potentially unhelpful to the actual process of writing. They are, in a word, unprofessional.
Caveat 3: There is only one reasonable response, and it isn't "oh waily waily waily". It's to maintain the standard, or raise it higher. It's to acknowledge the feedback and incorporate it into the travelling machine. It's to express relief (that it hasn't gone badly) and delight (that it has gone well). Lastly, it's to take all that and proceed to the next iteration, policing the route and not letting a perturbation in the machine spiral out of control. And hopefully, the result of such feedback is something reasonably balanced.
So, after a metric ton of verbiage and digression and almost-but-not-quite-saying "thank you", I feel I can safely and sensibly reply to those posts, so here it is.
Ceffyl Dwr, RTStephens, EbonQuill, and Chris: I am relieved I didn't cock up too much, delighted you got something from my work, and determined to keep up the standard or raise it higher.
Thank you.
That's all for now. Impossible Numbers, out.
Statistics
NEW: List of Reviews
Four: three this month and one only discovered this month. Although the one from the One Man's Pony Ramblings blog is an odd case, as what're actually being reviewed are the opening sentences and not the fics as a whole (which'd be tricky anyway, as one of them isn't even complete yet).
- https://cityofdoors.wordpress.com/2017/09/22/pony-stories-806/ (Sunset in the Otherworld)
- https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/793556/ceffyl-catch-up-and-author-shout-out-1 (Practical Nightmares Only, with special mentions going to Transient, Knitting Encouragement, and Thieves, Spirits, and Romantics)
- https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/793572/sa-reviews-121 (The Web Untangled)
- https://onemansponyramblings.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/first-sentences-in-fanfiction-26th.html (All of a Fluttershy and Dame Trixie and the Countess of Wyrd)
Fics Accepted By Equestria Daily
The Web Untangled made it! WOO! I have to admit I wasn't sure about this one going in, but the fic ended up going through with arguably the best pre-reader feedback yet. Currently, I'm waiting to hear back on Raven Night School, which I submitted as soon as Fluttershy's spider fic received its feature.
New Stories? Three.
Eldritch Fun Times was created in response to a Flutterdash contest, a contest wherein I fumbled so badly that I ended up with four unfinished stories on the go at once. This was, ho-hum, the simplest of the four, and after buoying it up for November's NaPoWriMo and for something to do in December, I finally got around to finishing it in January.
Impossible Numbers' Flashfic Anthology, Volume One is the result of seven months' worth of Loganberry's contests, and incontestable proof that writing to 150 words is hard for someone who struggles to rein in 1500 (or 15000, come to that).
Dame Trixie and the Countess of Wyrd was actually a 2016 project, inspired by a book about folklore and a hunt for a character who'd be an interesting comparison to the art of witchcraft (Trixie, obviously). I legitimately don't remember how Coloratura got involved, but I suspect it was because Trixie needed a foil that hadn't been done to death, and the parallels between the two started leaping out at me when I considered it.
New Updates: No.
Story Count: 67.
3 in 2018.
26 in 2017.
16 in 2016.
2 in 2015.
0 in 2014.
8 in 2013.
9 in 2012.
3 in 2011.
My Total Story View Count: Rendered obsolete due to new site changes.
Age: 2,242 days, or 320 weeks and 2 days.
Working: 19 days in December 2011, 2x366 days for 2012 and 2016 leap years, and 4x365 days for 2013 and 2014 and 2015 and 2017, and 31 days for 2018 so far combined.
My Follower Count: 159.
My Followed Count: 135.
Keep in mind that all pre-readers get to see all feedback, so I've seen what the response was on this. I'm curious what you mean by "best." The most useful? Or the most positive?
4787372
Most positive. Feedback absolutely is useful; I don't intend to deny that. In context, though, I meant "best" in a much more straightforward and immediate sense than I would if I were thinking about long-term writing practice.
4787390
Yes, it was definitely a positive review. It can be hard to see some reviews in a positive light sometimes, and to be fair, lots of reviewers get bogged down in saying what they didn't like that it doesn't occur to them to say what they did like. Yes, it's great to get a review that has nothing bad to say. But when I get a long review, it often means the person cared enough about my story that they were perfectly willing to invest that time in it. And that makes me feel pretty good, too. Unless the person is outright saying how terrible I am. Which has happened.
Not entirely sure I follow what's being said here, but I'll go ahead and say this:
You're welcome!
4787426
There is the constructive aspect to keep in mind when reading critical feedback, yes, and it is ultimately a more reliable sign of goodwill than if I was getting endless "you are perfect" messages.
I don't want to forget that, or forget that pre-readers have a tough enough job to do as it is. It's just, as a writer, I have to think carefully about why it's good for me, like reminding myself why I eat my greens instead of gorging on cookies.
Thanks for the reply. I really do appreciate it.
4787513