Stories of Bronycon 2018: Going Quietly Into That Good Night · 1:01am Aug 8th, 2018
So, as per tradition I spent way too long writing way too much about all the misadventures I had on a hot weekend in Baltimore. There were laughs, there were tears, there was a lot of good memories. So, in the wise words of a great man; let’s just jump right into it!
Nyronus and the Mostly Okay But Still Not Perfect Trip In
What Bronycon retrospective would it be if I didn’t start off discussing the absolute shitpocalypse that was my attempt to get to the con?
This one, apparently, because things went… basically okay.
I rode in on the train, and I mean, yeah, I didn’t sleep well in my seat, and the food on the train is unreasonably expensive (13 dollars for a small cup of yogurt and a microwaved panini and that’s eating cheap), the trip back was 3 hours delayed due to legal bullshit regarding track ownership, and someone gratuitously exsanguinated all over one of the bathrooms in my car, which doesn’t exactly bode well, and I almost missed getting off in Baltimore. That said, it was… pretty okay. I packed lots of snacks, the seats were comfortable for anything not related to sleeping, and, most importantly in my opinion, the staff of Amtrak and genuinely nice people.
Like, airline staff are apathetic and annoyed at all times, and, if you fly Delta, they will beat you to a pulp and drag you from the plane if they overbook, Greyhound staff are borderline homicidal rage monsters who will leave you to die in the desert if you look at them funny, but Amtrak staff? Personable, reasonable, helpful, and pretty laid back.
It was, like, genuinely a treat to deal with mass transit staff who I wasn’t afraid were going to murder me or who didn’t look at me like a particularly unpleasant cockroach.
Although I had a bit of a panic/severe annoyance before the con; namely, Amtrak says it gives every passenger two free checked bags.
Turns out though if you read the fine print of the fine print of a fine print, it’s actually “We’ll give you two free checked bags, unless you don’t live and are also traveling to an economically well off enough area that we can justify actually staffing our train station, in which case, fuck you.”
You know, like the podunk small city I live in and was boarding the train from.
So naturally I spent an hour panic packing and repacking trying to get my clothes to fit in cases not even God could Tetris into working before I realized Amtrak’s carry-on size limits were, in fact, yeug, and could comfortably fit my original suitcase and then some.
Yeah, not perfect, but it was so far the least shitty travel experience I’ve had in three years, so, you know, take what you can get.
Nyronus and the Day Before
I actually made it to the con on Thursday!
And I didn’t pass out in a heap!
I got off the train an hour late, and grabbed a cab to the hotel. Dreams, who I was rooming with, met me in the lobby after getting back from a lunch break. Him, Toast, Peer, and I hung out for a fair bit and mostly talked tabletop roleplaying (I love how many Fimficers are TTRPG people) and I went to go get my badge. I wanted to grab the badge, and try and catch an early dinner with some of the peeps I’d knew would be in town, so I ring up Wanderer D annnd -
Still driving in. Will call back when he gets in.
Okay, I’ll just hit up Nadnerb then -
Crickets.
Well. Damn.
So I swing down to registration, flash my ticket (which, fun fact, getting was an adventure in and of itself because I’d been screwed out of just buying it straight by 20 minutes and a timezone difference), and just… kind of hung out, hoping to see a familiar face. I got compliments on my attire, attended an impromptu concert being held by a wandering Brony DJ, with turntables and everything, and ended up bumping into Assassin Monkey whom I introduced myself to for, like, the third time and chatted with a bit. Eventually Nadnerb showed up and we chatted while he waited to get his vendor badge. I offered to help set up, but apparently only vendors could go into the hall during set-up. Set-up would also tie him up for an indeterminate ammount of time, so dinner with him was out. I call WD back and he somehow is going to take even longer to get in, so I head back to the hotel and resume hangout with Dreams and Co., and, after waiting past when WD said he’d get in, I cave in and the four of us head to Subway for a not so early dinner where a conversation about validated headcanons became a confused 4 way clusterfuck when people started getting mixed up about what was related to the comics, to the show, and to a story I was discussing.
We get back to the hotel, night falls, and then WD calls me to meet for dinner.
Which I did go to. The restaurant staff were pretty chill with my just sitting to the side and only ordering a water. It was fun watching WD and his crew (Corejo, C^2, Penstroke, and pleaseI’msorryInevergotyourname) do bants and try and tempt C^2 to go downstairs and buy the Sunset Shimmer plushie Build a Bear had on display, which you know they did deliberately knowing what was going on that weekend.
After that I mostly went back to the hotel, hung out some more, and went to bed, eager for the con to begin.
Nyronus and the Smoking Experience
Now, I’ve been vaping for about three years. My first two Bronycons I was mostly just huffing mentholated steam to help with sinus issues, so it was pretty easy to just ignore it while at the con. This year I was huffing tobacco and caramel flavored steam to get a specific neurotransmitter into my system to help with my long term depression and chronic pain.
So, little more important to do that on the regular.
Of course, that’s illegal to do basically everywhere except in your home or on the street, which lead to me getting to experience first hand what it means to be a Smoker.
So, some fun facts:
- My nicotine sensitivity goes up at the drop of a hat. Despite vaping the stuff constantly for a year now without tangible physiological feedback aside from the occasional lightheadedness first thing in the morning, not getting a hit for eight hours apparently makes it so three puffs is enough to make muscles I didn’t even know I had to relax. It was actually kind of nice.
- People can and will stop to take pictures of you vaping phat clouds.
- You can make a lot of friends. Smokers are a group that regularly have to recuse themselves into a designated zone where the only thing to do is take deep breaths and talk with the others in the box at the time. On the train, a sense of community rapidly formed as we all piled off every time a smoking stop happened, and you quickly learned who was in the club. I also made a few acquaintances at the con, included a vendor who had an absolutely amazing story about getting into the fandom, and Majin Seeykoh who I manipulated into being my vaping buddy by nefariously paying attention when he was around and asking him if he wanted to hang. I also managed to run into some of my con staff friends during their “it’s the final day and cigarettes are all that are keeping me sane at this point” phase. I got to learn about The Salt Lick and it’s addictive power.
I mostly found the whole experience kind of amusing. I like exploring experiences that aren’t my own, so getting to try out being a Smoker was just another in that line.
Still, it’s nice to be back in a place where I can billow like Vesuvius looming over Pompey while I work.
Nyronus and the Out of Context Highlights
- I reconciled with another estranged friend this year.
- This makes it two years running that that happened, so I’ve been joking that I hope this doesn’t become a con tradition since that would mean I’d have to fight with someone else this year.
- I then realized that I do actually have one very major outstanding friendship problem and I am now a little terrified God is going to make that happen next year because that’s just how my life is.
- One year I am going to learn not to wear dress shoes to Bronycon.
- It was not this year.
- Clown Car Suite con-going wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but it does involve a lot of shuffling around in the dark trying to be as silent as possible if you’re an asshole like me and stay up past two in the morning hollering about manticores on the convention center walkway.
- You can make a surprising number of friends staying up past two in the morning hollering about manticores on the convention center walkway.
- Amy Keating Rogers, had, allegedly, a very interesting moment coming out as bisexual during a panel.
- Everyone who still plays MtG apparently plays Commander these days.
- Pursuant to that, there is a special place in hell for you if you make a fully functional mono-blue draw-go Commander deck.
- I shilled SoloBrony’s fic Librarian Twilight Tries To Befriend A Newcomer To Equestria But He's Geralt The White Wolf And Doesn't Really Get Friendship basically any time someone mentioned HiE. Also, you guys should totally read that.
- I also shilled Dead/Light to Aragon. You all should also read that one if you feel like staying up three hours late and staring into the void wondering if joy is an illusion.
- The multi-story tall grain powered Greek kill-bot is always a fun topic of discussion.
- You can accrue a surprising amount of free booze if you leave the room last.
- Related note: PeerImagination, worry not, the bourbon has a good home.
- Subway is love. Subway is life.
- Chipotle, to my surprise, is apparently just Subway but for burritos. Relatively reasonably priced, too.
- Aragon, in his own words, enjoys sucking his own dick, and will do so if the audience gives him the opportunity.
- You cannot say “fetish” in the question line. This is a kid’s show.
- You can say it if you’re a panelist, though.
- Getting a drink from the Dasani machine on the second floor of the Baltimore convention center costs seven fucking dollars.
- If you want a commemorative mug from the soda stand, get in line early.
- My hugs are still a safety hazard.
- The Soviet National Anthem is always an appropriate backdrop for political discussion.
Nyronus and the Experience of Being Pinkie Pie
My first stop once the con got started proper (aside from opening ceremonies and also missing out on above mentioned commemorative mugs), was Stabletop Gaming for a round of MLP TOON.
Which was not actually TOON at all, but a homebrew system the GM made, but that’s become a marketing thing at this point so the name stuck, but I am getting ahead of myself.
Every year I make a note to try and participate in some TTRPG stuff at the con, but never have the time, but this year, I had a big slot of free space right on day one where a session fit, and I was curious about the TOON system.
Which, as mentioned, yeah, not what was going on.
It was okay. I picked up the role of Pinkie Pie because I apparently do a good Pinkie Pie, as evidenced by my How Equestria Was Made experience last year, and I had some fun playing that up. I declared our search for a missing Snips and Snails a “Search Party” and basically stuffed flashlights and cotton candy into the open maw of anyone foolish enough to speak to us. I also attempted to assuage a raging dragon with a one pony band. Other highlights include Rarity and Spike trying to distract the dragon by stealing from it’s hoard, and use beating/annoying the poor thing until it was a sobbing wreck. That said, we had probably too many players so things got kind of sloggy when combat started, rules weren’t entirely clear, and it was obvious some of us were more experienced than others and there was a general struggle for talk time due to the group size. Still, looking back, it was pretty amusing.
Nyronus and the Vendor Hall
So, between not-TOON and a script writing panel hosted by Larson, Rogers, and Confalone, I quickly found myself panel-fatigued and decided to do as I do every con - hit the Vendor Hall!
This year I had a super tight budget and a somewhat uncertain pay-date, meaning I spent a lot of time checking my phone and running numbers to make sure I could maximize swag while also being able to eat and get a cab and stuff. I spent more than my fair share of time there and had some interesting experiences. As usual, I took the time to scare off potential customers for Nadnerb and not buy anything by parking in front of his booth and chatting him up. This year though, we had a guest star in Jykinturah and we both assured each other not to feel guilty that we hadn’t gotten much hang time since our dramatic reconciliation last year, because we’re apparently both that friend who adds you to Discord and only talks to you once every few months by randomly messaging you about graphics cards. I also got to meet Eurobeat Brony, which was really cool. This also resulted in another purchase of destiny as I got a signed CD from him for a friend, which he was actually super excited to hear. Someone was also selling a really nice quality replica of Geralt’s amulet from the Witcher series, and I conveniently had a friend who was a fan and was having a birthday party the night of my return.
Although I have to say the most… interesting experience I had on the vendor hall floor was probably when a total stranger seemed to appear from thin air behind me and whispered into my ear “I heard you liked Ponyfinder.”
“Um, who are you?”
“I did the Ponyfinder Beastiary.”
“Oh, okay… Why are you here?”
“Someone told me you were interested in Ponyfinder and I followed you over here.”
“Who?”
“I dunno.”
“Oh… um, honestly, I don’t like Ponyfinder.”
“Oh.”
And then she sulked back to her booth. She didn’t seem to like hearing that.
Nyronus and the Author’s Dinner
Last year, a deluge washed across Baltimore in response to the hubris of inviting me to the Author’s Dinner, and this year, an hour before, I was standing in the vendor hall when everyone’s phones went off at once to announce a flash flood warning for the inner harbor.
And I was ready.
See, this year, in a mixture of practicality, thriftyness, and style, I had taken to wearing my coat over my shoulders affixed with a clasp as a cape. Because… decent quality capes are hard to find on the interwebs, somewhat outside my general budget, I wanted to wear one because I am just slightly Extra when it comes to fashion, and it was an easy way to keep my coat on my person without having to stuff it in my bag. People seemed to think I looked good, though.
That said, I was ready. I unclasped my coat, slid my arms into the sleeves, and went down to the foyer, ready to meet the second coming of the Flood.
And it had stopped raining.
Which is probably for the best because I got super soaked last year despite my coat.
The dinner went well this year. I spent most of it listening to, chatting, and discussing various things with Hap (who I totally forgot I had edited a story for once) and Georg (who convinced me to give the sequel to his just okay fish romance fic staring the wonderfully named Gaberdine a chance). At one point a discussion on how to use government and job funds for travel to attend pony conventions on the cheap came up, which is something I’m going to have to remember. Probably the most amusing moment came when I glanced to my side to see Brasta Septim squeezing his face through the banister, staring at me.
“Brasta! How did you sneak in here?”
“... I am very small, and very quiet.”
“... Fair enough.”
Afterwards I went to BlackGryph0n’s set, and attended a bunch of really dope writing panels hosted by GaryOak (go to his panels, they tend to be good), which lead to the aforementioned hollering about manticores.
Nyronus and Lena Hall’s Journey to Ponyville
Probably one of my favorite panels this year was Lena Hall’s on Saturday. The most charming aspect of it was that Lena Hall really had the whole Brony experience, just like the rest of us. She was apparently depressed, lonely, and watched the show on a whim. Like many of us it became a beacon for her in a time of doldrums that spurned her to be more social and connect with people. She even had her own OC her boyfriend had made for her. She was apparently so taken with the show she was ranting about the then just-aired Season 4 finale to anyone who would listen, including interviewing journalists for important publications regarding her Tony nomination, much to her publicist’s chagrin. Apparently the now famous “Friendship is Magic” line from her Tony acceptance speech was her attempt to slip a shoutout under the radar despite her publicist’s ire.
And yeah, she is, in her own words, living the dream, and the entire experience was phenomenal for her. Also, despite the fact that she is completely amazed there are toys of her as a character from her favorite show, like the rest of us, she thinks the brushables look terrible. She is also holding out hope that she’ll get an encore as Rara, although as time draws to a close, she’s doubtful.
That said, she loved the experience so much she’s taken it up professionally and is moving to Vancouver to do more and also collaborate with Daniel Ingram. Don’t let your dreams be memes, kids; sometimes wishes do come true.
That said I was a little annoyed and amused because “How does it feel to live the dream?” and “Are you interested in reprising the role as Rara?” were the two questions I was going to ask her.
Nyronus and the Undead Seductive Unstable Unicorns
So I am in Quills and Sofas, hanging out, when Penstroke rolls up to a table with a carboard box. It’s apparently some kind of game, and he, GaPJaxie, someone who’s name I didn’t catch at the time - sorry! - and I are drawn in for a session.
Penstroke introduces us to Unstable Unicorns, a game with the tagline “Build a Unicorn Army. Betray Your Friends. Unicorns Are Your Friends Now.” GaPJaxie seemed to love telling spectators what the tagline was, which, to be fair, it is a very GaPJaxie line.
The game centers around trying to get a certain number of unicorns on the field. You play one card a turn, either a unicorn, a spell, a buff or debuff on a given player, and the game includes Neigh! cards which you can play out of turn to cancel any card another player plays. There is also a lot of backstabbing back and forth as you have to constantly undermine the head of the pack to keep them from winning while also trying to set up your win. The game itself is also hilarious with funny card artwork.
I draw my hand and I see I have a card called Seductive Unicorn, which lets me steal another unicorn from a player at the table for as long as Seductive Unicorn is in play.
Which triggers their enter the battlefield effect.
Which lets me play more unicorns.
People quickly realized this was a problem, so they killed my Seductive Unicorn.
And then I
kept
drawing
cards
that let me keep bringing Seductive Unicorn back from the grave.
The game slowly warped into a bonanza of trying to stop me from resurrecting seductive unicorn for the umpteenth time and pull ahead for a win, to the point where Penstroke bitched someone out for Neigh!’ing a card that would have let him remove it from the discard pile which he had played just so I would stop doing that.
The final few rounds where a conga line of Neigh!s as we all kept killing our opponent’s last ditch attempts to win with one final combo play, and I bided my time, putting out card after card, hoping to exhaust the Neigh!s in hand for my final trump.
I played a card.
On my next turn, I could sacrifice it to, you guessed it, bring Seductive Unicorn back from the discard. No one stopped me. The fated turn came. I began my final ascension. I played a card that let me redraw my hand, and take an extra turn. I then brought back the be-lipsticked terror, stole a unicorn that let me play a second unicorn that turn. A second unicorn I had in hand. The last unicorn I needed to win. It was over. I had won. I went to play the last unicorn -
Neigh!
[insert Vader Big No meme here]
I ultimately have forgotten who won - I think it was Penstroke, but I had a load of fun. I’m not saying I’ve just ordered the game on Amazon as I typed this section up - that would be a lie as funds are a bit tight this second.
What I am saying is I totally will when the rest of my paycheck comes in, budget willing.
Nyronus and the Attempt at Better Living Through Gratuitous Violence Against Friends
Solobrony was very
very
very
insistent I do a fight night this year.
For those that don’t remember, in 2016 Solobrony dragged some twenty odd people over to the Renegade Stage for some sparring and combat instruction. He’s pretty big on general martial arts education, and for good reason. It’s good exercise, builds mental focus, builds confidence, and in a world where muggings still happen, knowing how to beat a motherfucker is not an impractical skill set. So, after working up a program and angle for it I set about doing it, and, Saturday afternoon, I flagged down the first con security guy I saw to ask. My basic pitch is a few of us would gather for some basic instruction, training, and practice - some discussion of the basics, some reflex drills, and some sparring. Pulled hits, fight to contact, no shoes, no grapples. This was (roughly) what I remember him doing in 2016, so I was going to emulate that. They told me to ask Events.
I got lost looking for Events.
So I asked a second con staffer and after three wrong turns I finally found it.
They were actually pretty thrilled with the idea.
I just couldn’t use the Renegade Stage.
Oh, well, shit.
They said if I could find a space to do it, and get security to oversee (which was my suggestion), I could do it. So, okay, there’s a lot of open space on the second floor. I’ll just set up there.
I then go about recruiting. Which, admittedly, made me super nervous.
“HELLO INTERNET FRIEND, WOULD YOU SUBMIT TO MY ATTEMPTS TO SMACK YOU IN THE FACE?”
“Uh-”
“IT IS FOR YOUR HEALTH.”
I was a little worried it was a bad pitch.
So I sort of slink around Quills and Sofas, hovering around conversations waiting for the lull to slip in like some kind of social vampire, as I do, and try asking various friends and people I thought might be interested.
I actually got some interest. Jaxie, Dreams of Ponies, and Wanderer D were down, and a few people who were at their tables also expressed interest. I eventually started telling people to meet up at Q&S at 9:30 to do this. Which I didn’t do at first because I was nervous, didn’t think of it, and was mostly doing this fucking ad hoc.
The rest of the night goes on. I got to Black Gryph0n’s set (which was good) and then decide to grab a bite to eat and an energy drink because it’s 9:30 and I have five hours of con left with a panel, a big sparring mosh, and another concert on the intererary. I head towards Quills and Sofas and flag over a couple security guys, explain the whole thing, how I cleared it with Events.
“Oh, no, you have to clear that with Operations.”
Where’s Operations?
Other side of the center.
So they drag me to the other end of the con, back in the boondocks where they had Stabletop Games last year, and drop me off, nervous and embarrassed, to Operations. I once again, give my whole pitch and the Operations lady looks at me, deeply confused.
“You need to clear this with Events.”
“I already cleared it with Events. The security guys told me to clear it with you, and that you had final say.”
And then she stopped talking with me second to received a call about pizza.
“Yeah, we don’t have final say in this at all. If Events okayed it, we’re out of the loop.”
I perk up.
“But, how about this - go back to Events, get them to okay it one more time just to be sure, and then have them call security so they send over an officer to escort you.”
I deflate a little.
I go to Q&S just to check up because I’m like twenty minutes late at this point annnnd -
Only Jaxie and D are there.
I deflate a lot more.
So I sit down, spit out a frustration/exhaustion word salad that, I am not sure but given the reactions I got may have involved the phrase “plans to beat you guys off,” and began sullenly eating my pizza and seven dollar Monster Energy.
So, lessons to learn
- Don’t throw this together in an afternoon
- Be better at organizing
- Make sure to clear the chain of command the first time
- Bureaucracy is an unending oroborus of left hands not knowing what the rights do
- Make it an official thing next time because everyone on staff actually loved the idea and suggested I do so.
That said, it was nice to get some chill time in before the next thing on my schedule. Aragon also came in and I was made the butt of a bilingual prank by him and WD. Oh well, as we say in German, Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist voller Aale!
Nyronus and the Bangers of Bronypalooza
That said, Saturday night wasn’t all about debbie downers. I went to two great sets on Saturday, and… one okay set, and half of a great set on Friday, but here they are in chronological order.
1. Crusader
I did not actually intend to see this set, but Bronypalooza was running twenty minutes late and he was on before Prince Whateverer, so I ended up catching the tail end of this set… and I’m pretty glad I did. He gives a good performance, with the highlight being this soulful tune, and trust me, it was absolutely fantastic live. This was also the set where I learned that “Discord” is the Brony Concert Meme equivalent of Freebird. I also met him out on the floor before Whateverer’s set and again in the vendor hall looking for Eurobeat, and he was a really cool dude. I fully intend to drop some money on his Bandcamp in the near future.
2. Prince Whateverer
Now, this I came to see. Whateverer knows how to lay down a fucking power metal anthem and Frailty is an all time fave for rocking the fuck out. I was fucking psyched.
Unfortunately, the sound balancing was awful to the point where the pre-recorded back-up vocals where louder and clearer than him, he seemed half asleep, and I’m not 100% sure, but I think I saw him take his hands off the guitar and the thrashing continued unabated.
That said, half asleep and with the sound balancing of a music app being manned by a tone deaf six year old, there is still something magical about seeing Frailty live with twelve foot tall sparkler pyrotechnics and the whole shebang, so, still glad I went.
3. Black Gryph0n and Michelle Creber.
Aww yeah, the rock star is in.
Last year’s set was… ehhhh. Okay. This year, though, they killed it. Creber has come a long way as a stage performer, and at least this year I had context for what the fuck the beep beep I’m a sheep madness was about. It lasted forever, was filled with great hits, some solid new material from Creber’s new albumn, and Gryph0n even did Proud to Be a Brony and, ah, bury me for I have lived. The entire time though, Creber and Brown were doing all their duet songs and I was waiting for one. One specific one. The first one of theirs that I heard, that, to this day, remains my favorite. Just, waiting, waiting for that one duet song.
They say this will be their final song and they do something, I forget what, there’s cheering, they’re thanking the crowd, walking off, and then Creber comments that, you know, they have time for one more song. But which could they do?
Are they…?
Are they gonna… ?
The music starts...
I’m taken by this feeling and I’m losing the fight
I’m falling, feeling, faster we go!
4. Eurobeat Brony
I had missed Eurobeat when he was here in 2016 (save for a fantastic cameo performance of Come Alive with Silva Hound), so I was really stoked to see him this year. I go down after Bad Horses’s writing advice panel and they’re setting up. He comes out, and the crowd goes wild, and the show gets on the road. Eurobeat is basically one of my earliest and longest fandom experiences with his fantastic (and vastly superior to all imitations) Discord being one of the first fan songs I’d ever heard. It was great to hear Fly, Diamond Dogs, Batty, Luna and, of course Discord live, and the crowd was loving it. Nothing quite beats a thousand bronies belting out the lyrics to Discord while Odyssey grins like a madman on stage.
I also feel bad because he played a lot of stuff I didn’t recognize, so it looks like I’m gonna have to take some more time to dig through his discography to figure out what the hell I missed.
Of course, what really got me wasn’t what happened during the set, but how it ended.
The staff come out and tell us to give him another round of applause and he actually kind of cut them off, and begins speaking into the mic. He, somewhat manically, explains that he wants to thank us. For being here, for loving his music. For making this the best concert of his year. For making the past eight years the best in his life. Over and over, thanking us, the audience, for loving his work.
That… kind of floored me, and I felt somewhat embarrassed. It just didn’t occur to me how much the appreciation of us meager fans could mean to this living legend.
This fandom is about passion, and about sincerity. It’s what ties us together. Sometimes, it’s what drives us apart. I guess I got a good reminder of that that night, watching a man, seemingly on the verge of tears with gratitude, just for us loving his work. I… still don’t really know what to say to that, but it meant something to me to see that.
So, thank you Odyssey, for being here for us, for putting out music we love, and for being honest with us and sharing something special with us for years.
Here’s to years more, mate.
Nyronus and the Absolute Madman That Is M.A. Larson
I do not know if you all know the legend that is M.A. Larson, the dark phantom which autographs all things that enter his baleful gaze, but it was alive and well this con. Among the victims of his sharpie rampage this year are; every plant in the convention center, a car tailgate, the fucking Declaration of Independence, and GaryOak, who, according his account, caused Larson to nearly snort out his beer by moaning “Oh, sign me, Daddy!” when Larson went in to sign his arm unasked.
And this year, I decided I wanted a Larson signature.
I had the perfect target too. I have an Cybook ereader that is used, almost exclusively, to read ponyfic. I thought it was a good momento of the joy the show gave me, and a symbolic nod to the inspiration Larson gave us with his writing and acknowledgement of his love of the fandom.
So, I go to his last panel where he read the original script for Rarity Investigates, which was apparently originally intended to be a miss-mash of Legally Blonde and a Few Good Men with a scene that perfectly called for a Simpson Trial reference that Larson did not noticed until the crowd pointed it out to him. People go in line for questions, and a few of them do it just to ask him to sign stuff. I feel that’s a little gauche, so I abstain. After all I want to ambush him as he gets off the stage and corner him to beg for an autograph. You know. Like a normal person.
Also, fun fact, but the only person who hates Fame and Misfortune and thought it was a tactless and pointless jab at the fandom more than the fans, is Larson.
The panel ends, and I go up to the stage. A crowd has formed around Larson and I’m just waiting my turn to butt in when, from the ether, a con staffer manifests from my right with an annoyed bellow.
“We need to clear out this room for the next panel, none of you can be behind stage, and he is going straight. to. Autographs!”
Rebuffed and more than a little scared, I beat a hasty retreat into the hallway, and then after a moment’s thought, out onto the veranda just to be safe like some kind of skittish, vaping spider.
I kind of regret not going the gauche route and just hopping in line to get an autograph like the rest of the scrubs.
Nyronus and the Great Printing Disaster
As Sunday hits it’s midday stride I go down to the vendor hall one last time to pick up and order printed by the Traveling Art Museum, a dope bunch of chaps I mentioned in last year’s retrospective. I had been once already, but my prints had skid marks on them, so they graciously offered to print them again, and I ordered a couple more and a t-shirt to neatly clear out the last of my swag budget. I head down with Jaxie and D as the two of them want to hit up a vendor themselves and wanted to get some lunch at the cafe there. I peel off as they head to lunch with promises that I shall return. I roll over to the Art Museum booth to get my order annnnd two seperate Sunset Shimmer prints I had made were green.
As in Sunset was literally colored green instead of a orange.
Embarrassed, they offered to reprint right away. While waiting on that, I check my other prints juuuust to be sure. One looks great, the other…
It’s a picture of Luna and Celestia in mirror poses with the sun and moon in a color-on-faded-parchment look to it. Everything was right… except the background on my print was cream colored as opposed to parchment colored. Uncomfortable having gotten four reprints at this point and not wanting to be a bother, I ask the booth staff to look at it for me juuust to be sure I’m not crazy.
And thus resulted in a twenty minute tug of war of awkward where neither the staff nor myself were entirely comfortable telling the other no and both parties were trying to find an out that accommodated the desires of the other. They couldn’t really see it, but they wanted me to be happy with my purchase, whereas it was a really slight tone shift and I, as a veteran of running a shop that sold prints, know the pain of “oh christ, they want me to do it again and each time it costs me money, and why won’t the epson work, does it just like the taste of my tears?” This was made worse by the fact that they had no actual finished prints on hand to check against to see if it was just a monitor issue or not, and at some point Jaxie and D wander away from the cafe, wondering what happened to me. Finally they settle on it just being a monitor issue and we both go our separate, awkward, ways.
Afterwards, I make my way out on the veranda for a vape break where I got some more quality time with some old con staff/greyhound veteran buddies of mine and Majin, where we had to explain the Beanis Cinematic Universe to those poor souls and I, nobley in my opinion, did not hurl him off for his sins against God and Nature.
Nyronus and the End of an Era
After some emotional chatting and hangout in Quills and Sofas, the con wraps up (and I missed the Q&S yearly photo due to the aforementioned vape break), and me and Wanderer D opt to skip closing ceremonies and head back to my hotel to hang out and chat about a super secret project we’re working on that I may have told like six people about already because I’m not sure how much I should be plugging the project at this stage!
Unfortunately he has to pull out due to a phone call, but Dreams and Toast roll back in with a freshly purchased set of Shipfic Folder and we start to play. I check EQD, and it turns out JanAnimations released a send off/farewell/thank you animation about the termination of the original Button Mash. I mention it to the other two and they beg off. Dreams claims this is a happy time after the con, and doesn’t want any downer vibes.
And then PeerImagination kicks in the door to announce next year is the last Bronycon.
[sad trombone]
Needlessly to say, we were all a little down after that one. We wrap up the game (Toast won, but I got in a few good plays), and Dreams hooks us up with a crew going to dinner at a burger/shake place. We meet up with a whole gaggle of Bronies there, and had some truly excellent food while Teen Titans Go played on the big screen over our booth for… some… reason.
One of our tablemates broke down in tears while we ate.
We reassured him it would be okay, that we would endure, and that it was okay, but the whole thing was on everyone’s minds.
We get word that everyone is apparently going to the Hilton to hang out and party after the con. Dreams and the rest go ahead while head back to the hotel, citing soreness and needing to hit my energy drink stash. I also just needed some time to myself after all that.
By the way, I don’t recommend watching that Button Mash video while thinking too hard about the Bronycon situation. The lyrics are really on the nose for that topic.
Our tablemate wasn’t the only one who cried that night.
Nyronus and Hiltoncon 2018
I make my way over to the Hilton, looking for familiar faces to spend time with. No one I knew well was there, but I did spot one of the people from the burger shack sitting down for some good old Magic the Gathering. I watch them play and wait a turn to get in some asskicking since neither FanofMostEverything or Cynewulf got to experience the sublime joy that was playing against a deck I fondly call Mono-Black Asshole.
Seeing us, someone peeled over to us, estactic to see MtG players at the con. I show him my decks and he, in a fit of manian and generosity, pulled out a binder he keeps around just to have cards to give random strangers to improve their decks.
Embarrassed, I accept some of his recommendations, and agree to square off against a friend of his. He goes off for a moment as we set up. I pull out Mono-Black Asshole, and he offers me a selection of decks, knowing only their colors. I think about it, and decide green is probably my best match-up since it will probably be creature focused and, for those not in the know about MtG, Black is the color of screwing over people who play creatures.
He starts unpacking his deck when he friend returns and asks which one I picked. He is informed.
“Oh shit!” His eyes go wide. “You picked green, that’s, like, his most broken deck.”
When I was facing down four elves, each almost strong enough to kill a player starting at full health, I learned why.
I had seen Nadnerb and, thanking the two of them, excused myself to go find him.
I eventually find him across the street in a giant Brony artist powwow, where I proceed to go hang with him and Jyki. The three of us mostly discuss artistic technique and sketch work. Nadnerb and I also discussed a plan to drive to California to break Horizon’s legs because he still hasn’t posted TEFL yet you son of a bitch, Horizon.
Jyki found this all a little morbid.
I also take some time to explain to Jyki a bit more about the shenanigans that lead to our spat, and I learned he had apparently no idea what the fuck had happened to cause me and DH to stop being friends, which, well, goes a lot to explain why he found that whole chain of events frustrating. At some point Assassin Monkey showed up to give us all Belgian Waffle candy which is apparently just… a thing he does. Every year.
I then noticed a group across the way. Lead by my mortal enemy.
Bad Horse
I mozy on over to find him, Axis of Rotation, Georg, and Equestrian Sen playing a game. Georg has to leave, so I take his seat and the three of them invite me to another round of some kind of phallic symbol-grabbing visual matching game which, despite a strong showing at the opening, I did not win.
From there we begin talking, start out on religion, go to mathematics, then to prescriptivist linguistic philosophy vs descriptivist linguistic philosophy, then to platonism, then to the fact that no one actually understands HP Lovecraft, and people are entering and leaving the conversation and at some point I am ranting about Luna being my spirit pone and how pharmaceutical companies are the devil at Vivid Syntax whom I had just met.
Nice chap. Really appreciated having a statistician to talk about some of this stuff.
Later on, Nadnerb informed me he was able to identify my location by the sound of someone hollering about Plato. Which, fair deduction, if someone is hollering about Plato at one in the morning on a Baltimore summer night, it’s either me or Bad Horse.
And Bad Horse doesn’t holler.
Although I am still a little salty that the group refused to chede ground on my argument that some level of prescriptivism was an epistemological necessity because a common string of symbols with reference to reality is necessary for communication, only for the conversation to devolve into a huge confusing mess because some people were using an idiosyncratic definition of what Platonism constitutes.
Nyronus and Jimmy Johnscon 2018 -or- Nyronus and the Kindness of Friends
So, to replicate the success of last year’s post-con brunch henceforth known as Jimmy Johnscon I went around Sunday asking people if they wanted to meet up there before leaving town. I invited Trick Question, Zyrian, and their crew. Wanderer D and his crew, Nadnerb, Jyki, and Bad Horse and Equestria Sen. Bad Horse even asked me if he could invite friends and I told him sure, more the merrier.
I manage to drag my corinthian pillar of luggage to Jimmy John’s after check-out, and check my phone.
Zyrian sent me a PM to inform me last minute plan swaps meant he and Trick were heading out early, Wanderer D was also gonna have to leave before the meetup, and Nadnerb and Jyki apparently had headed off on their own breakfast adventure which apparently has some kind of colorful story behind it.
Bad Horse did manage to convince Horse Voice and GaryOak and a friend of theirs to come, so, that was actually really cool. Also, the guy who ran MLP Toon had heard of my plan while we were checking out of the hotel and decided to tag along. We hung out, chatted about all sorts of stuff, and had a pretty damn good time.
Eventually everyone but Bad Horse, Equestria Sen, and myself head out, and we return to the Hilton lobby to once again chat about basically everything which, in a probably non-exhaustive list, includes: Neuroscience, the Berkley Mind Reading Machine (which is real, look it up), the history of Christianity, Vikings, Medieval British history, Socrates and Plato again, virtue theory, the definition of justice, why the hell I wear kevlar-lined leather gloves all the time, what wrangling squirrels has to do with the above, and so on and so forth. Believe it or not, it was all… really civil actually, despite how I meme it up about the two of us. We had a pleasant time discussing various topics, and we got along pretty well.
Eventually Sen had to go, leaving Bad Horse and me to meander on a bit more, which, at one point involved him stealing my bag and hiding behind a sign with it.
I eventually mention I need to head to the train station, and, wanting to spare myself the trouble of taking my luggage back to my hotel to get a cab, ask Bad Horse if he minds giving me a lift, and… he obliged. Thus we set out on a hair-raising trip across Baltimore, trying to navigate it’s streets while trying to sync two GPS devices for travel across a labyrinthian city neither of us know.
That got me thinking, you know, about all the kindness and generosity I saw at Bronycon this year. Not just Bad Horse, but Dreams helped me out by buying me dinner because money got tighter than expected as the con dragged on. Even excitable Magic the Gathering Santa got in on it. I saw it around me too, and tried to do some myself when I saw a problem I could correct, even if it was just asking someone I found looking glum in Quills and Sofas how they were doing. It wasn’t anything major or dramatic like last year where strangers saved me from being stranded in the middle of nowhere due to a bus line choice gone terribly wrong, but it was there, and I am always glad to see that, not just in the huge charity drives Bronies do, but in little ways as well.
So, to anyone out there who spoke a kind word or made a generous gif this con; thanks. I appreciate it.
Even if Bad Horse can sometimes take a turn that puts hair on your chest.
Nyronus and Going Quietly Into That Good Night
So... next season is the last season. Next Bronycon is the last Bronycon. The phrase “End of an Era” is getting bandied about by more than just me.
This fandom means a lot to me. I became closer to friends because of it, and made whole new ones. I lived, I loved, I suffered, I overcame, all because of the things this fandom taught me and the friendships it gave me a foundation to form.
And next year the foundation is crumbling. End of an Era.
There’s a lot people are saying. Things have to end, and that’s true. There’s also something to be said about the show getting stale at times and the need for new material and direction for the franchise to carry on into the future. There’s also just the example of Trekkies, our closest sister fandom in terms of passion, and how they have endured decades and also terrible, terrible movies.
Still, it’s coming to an end, and there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Watching all of this play out on Sunday night, I thought about it, and made a decision.
I refuse.
I refuse to let this be our game over. I refuse to go quietly into that good night. Etch those words upon my tombstone and if I fail, then let it serve as a lesson to heed for those who come after me and wish to surpass me.
There is a reason I write controversial or exposing blog posts about self-esteem and writing theory, or cook up things like that podcast which I now, more than ever, have reason to start back up. This fandom has done so much for me, and I want to share that with everyone. I want everyone to get as much out of this weird, wonderful experience of Bronydom as I did, because it changed my life. Looking back on where I was before this all started, it saved me, I think. I overflow with this need sometimes, sometimes to the point where I don’t even know what to even do with it. It’s overflowing right now and I just don’t feel like any words I can write can capture how much this means to me.
I will be going to Bronycon next year. I will do everything I can to make the last one the best one I can, not just for myself, but everyone. After that, we’ll see where it goes. I will be there, though, and even if everything falls apart and rage cannot spare the dying of the light, I will be here, and I will remember. I will carry what this fandom has done for me throughout time, and use it to light the way for others. I beg of you all to do the same, because I see the light it’s lit in all of you. I’ve seen it in the spark of humor, in the bonds of friendship, of stories of love, loss, and love again, and in the eyes of an old man who was spared from the darkness by the light of this show, just as many of us have. We’ve done so much, experienced so much, and I don’t believe even the end of an era can totally erase that.
I love you all, and I will see you both on here and in Baltimore next year. I had a fantastic con, and intended to repeat that again, at least one more time.
Take care, and godspeed, friends.
It was always a blast hanging out, bro!
More like it was easier for me to lug the box full of Commander decks than the one full of sixty-card ones. Also, Commander's a more forgiving format when you kind-of sort-of haven't updated your decks in several years because you've been too busy reading and writing horsewords.
Yes. Yes there is.
That's a funny way of spelling "Jimmy John's."
I just always keep a poncho in my backpack, so I wasn't at all concerned about the dinner storm.
I had no idea Lena Hall experienced the brony's journey (a.k.a. the Equestrian monomyth.) Neat.
The saga of the undying seductive unicorn needs to become a Rarity story of some kind.
I'll be honest: I probably would've said "no"... though I can't guarantee that.
This is true regardless of context, yes.
Aw. I missed that panel with the original "Rarity Investigates!" Also, Larson signing the Declaration of Independence is amazing.
Huh. I honestly never made a connection between "Game Over" and the final Bronycon. Until now. Those bastards had better not play it there...
Yikes. Dem elves.
Also, I'm pretty sure I have a deck that would do very well against Monoblack Asshole.
So, fun fact: My first con ever, pony or otherwise, I see Nadnerb, recognize the cover image for Time Enough for Love, and buy a print of it. He's thrilled to meet someone who recognizes the piece, and I'm thrilled to meet someone who actually recognizes my username. My second con, I get Horizon to sign said print just to guilt him into expediting the publication.
That second con was Bronycon 2017.
In any case, here's to next year and whatever may come after.
Lights a lone candle and holds it towards the chilly wind.
I'm with you, bud. Friendship carries on through the ages
4916376
Go... go read GaryOak's retrospective. He has the whole affair there.
Thanks for the post. :)
(We only met briefly at the con, but I too am hopeful for the con next year and for the fandom after that.)
That moment is burned into my memory as well.
Thanks for writing this. That weekend was one of the highlights of my life. I'll be around next year. I'll be around for quite a while after that.
It's a fair cop.
But it's not like anyone else can define "Platonism" either.
Thanks for being there. I really appreciated our talks!
It's funny; I remember being irritated with you at one point very soon after we'd begun talking to each other online, and thinking, "I hope he doesn't write back." Fortunately you did, or I did. Which shows the friendship value of trying again instead of jumping to conclusions.
Even if we're ending BC, the fandom will endure and find ways to keep blossoming. Hold that close and you'll be just fine