Things that are represented in this story. · 10:10pm Oct 18th, 2018
Hey guys, so I figured I'd write this. Guess I'm bored in my inability to sleep.
Rejection of my music: This represents my feeling that nobody likes the music I write, which sucks because it's the one thing I'm moderately good at.
Record labels declining my music: no one probably knows this, but my best friend and i have been trying to pursue a career in music, two years before I started writing on this site. Needless to say in the fourteen years of trying nothing come of it.
Destruction of basses: Over the years it seems I've gradually lost the ability to play my favored instrument, so much so that I've actually considered destroying all of them.
Nopony wants me, why?: Throughout the years, no one besides the two friends i have and family, no one talks to me. Literally no one. It was fine, but now it's wearing me down. This has led to me being single for nine years, and it makes me feel unwanted.
"The unstable prince": I try to use humor about my mental illnesses to try to cope with them and make it not seem as bad, so i joke about my multiple personalities and depression and such. Doesn't always work...
Suicide spells: I've tried to kill myself multiple times.
Luna: In this story, she more or less represents my conscience. Trying desperately to convince myself that I'm not a worthless failure, but unable to come up with anything helpful.
Skill level at magic: It seems like with no matter how much i practice, I'll never be as good as i want to be.
Stabbing myself: Self harm. It's been years since i have, at least with a sharp object. I hit myself alot.
Attempted fireball spell: Thought about drenching my self in gasoline and jumping into a fire.
Conjured revolver: My last suicide attempt. My best friend found me before I could pull the trigger, and took it away from me and hid it before i went behind his back and found it.
I think everything else is either obvious or self explanatory. I put a fair bit of real life stuff into my stories, but everyone just assumes they're just stories... anyway sorry to have bothered you all with this.
Not that anyone will actually see it...