If I May Have Your Attention... · 6:19pm Jul 25th, 2019
This shit is hard.
So I currently have two in-progress stories, Passed On and Best Left Forgotten. I'm well aware that the former is far and away the more popular of the two.
That said, Passed On is in a bit of a rut, and I'd like to explain why. So sit down with your auntie Scampy, cuz it's time for story time about stories. Spoilers for both fics are below, so if you haven't read them, maybe do that first. Also what even led you to this blog?
The structure of Passed On is rather unconventional, as with Last Light, in that the climax is also the inciting incident. In Last Light, the climax was Sunset's fall, whereas in Passed On it was her death. Both happen very early on, and while Last Light spends the rest of the story discussing Sunset's the slow, inevitable march to the end, the remainder of Passed On is trickier to pin down.
Last Light's purpose was clear—to expose the uncomfortable truth that sometimes, things just don't work out. When delving into the aftermath of Sunset taking her own life, though, things get muddier. This isn't a bad thing—nothing about suicide is simple, and everything about it hurts. As Twilight says in the second chapter, she can't process "every individual agonizing facet of a reality far too terrible for her perceive in its entirety." All she and everyone else can do is try to pick up whatever pieces they can, knowing they'll never have enough to rebuild what they've lost. And while I understand this theme of my own(!) story, the problem I'm having is how to best convey it.
A bit of context is necessary. Both stories are not intended to be "Anon-a-miss" stories in the traditional sense. The concept serves as more of a jumping-off point for a frank discussion and representation of suicide and its aftermath, rather than tackling the specific aspects of the whole cyber-bullying thing. This is why the Crusaders did not make an appearance in Last Light, despite the (literally) dozens of comments clamoring for their daily dose of revenge-porn. There are plenty of "fix-fics" out there. Mine are not among them.
All this isn't to say that the specific events of the comic aren't important to the story. But Last Light was Sunset's story, and I think the reason it was so well-received was because it wasn't all about drama and screaming and retribution. It's a somber attempt to show what it's like for someone who really, truly wants to die.
But I want my sadfic and I want it now!
I want it to be done too, but Passed On is a muddled mess of emotions and aimless anger thrown in every direction. It's really hard for me to write. Projection is my strong suit when it comes to writing, and this story has been a challenge from the beginning because I've had to put myself in the mind of characters going through an experience I've never had. I have some good ideas, but putting them together has been slow and stressful and nothing I've put together thusfar has been of the same quality as everything else. This story means a lot to me, and I'd hate to flub the ending in a rush to get it over and done with. I have not forgotten Passed On—I just want it to be the best it can be. That may take a while, and I appreciate your patience with me as I figure it out.
ALL THAT SAID...
If you're looking for a saaaaaad Scampy story to read in the meantime, I'd really like to recommend Best Left Forgotten.
[Adult story embed hidden]
I've put a ton of love and care and thought into this fic and I'm really proud of it thusfar. It would mean a lot to me if more people gave it a chance. At the same time, the nature of this story is far heavier than either Last Light or Passed On, so I understand if people decide to leave it be after the "reveal."
I want a turn to be miserable!
Again, thank you for being so patient with me. I know I can make my stories worth the wait.
~Scampy
I think so many people are clamoring for 'retribution' because, well, in essence, the CMC DID start the fire that turned into a raging inferno that ultimately made Sunset resort to the extreme. Sure, Sunset was already depressed, but at least there was a chance of her healing the longer she spent with her friends on Earth, a chance that we all see as being stolen from her for the pettiest of reasons by three little girls who couldn't handle the fact that their big sisters had their lives back together again (aka, less time to spend with them and more with the friends they left behind).
Sunset may have wanted to die, in the end, but the way it's portrayed points to the concept that it didn't have to be that way and that's likely what stings readers the most. It's why the Anon-A-Miss storyline likely has so much 'revenge-porn' associated with it: the CMC were petty, the Humane Five were being idiots, and, at the end of the day, everything is settled with a hunky-dory 'I'm sorry, I forgive you' exchange without looking at the potential long-term effects for both sides. Because something like this DOES have long-term effects for everyone involved: the bullies, the ones who did nothing for the victim, the teachers who watched it happen, and the victim's loved ones.
In the comic-canon for this, Sunset forgiving everyone so easily felt unrealistic, as did the fact that Twilight didn't immediately jump through the portal to sort things out the second she heard what was going on. It's a paradox: so many people dismiss this story as direct canon for its lack of faithful character portrayals and yet they can't ignore the injustice of what Sunset is put through during the tale being told.
This....turned out to be longer than I thought it would be
Sorry for rambling on like this 
I hope I helped offer you some clarity in your plight.
I can get behind that. It comes off as more realistic.
I have to admit I'm tempted to ask, but I imagine you'd be uncomfortable about it.
Oh thank god, I didn't want to see the Crusaders devastated. There was more than enough sadness to go around as it was.
Stay shiny!
You've done good work making both of those stories all the same. So good that I'm sure we're all willing to wait as long as it takes to write either or. As it stands, you have every right to be proud of Best Left Forgotten. It's been awhile since a story really evoked those feeling of dread and sadness and the writing really draws that out.
I'd be happy to check out Best Left Forgotten.
I kinda agree with Speckle. A lot of AaM stories focus on the retribution angle because the canon comic just kinda brushed the effects and consequences of AaM aside. I think that might have been an artifact of having only a single issue to resolve the conflict, while not letting it bleed into later books. I've seen similar things pop up in my own AaM story, but like your works, AaM is more of a catalyst, not the focus.
Regarding Last Light and Passed On, I think you've done an admirable job of portraying the emotional effects of Sunset's decisions on those around her, and on herself. Take all the time you need to get it right, because I'd rather have sparse updates from a good story than rapid updates from something that doesn't make me feel.
But where's my revenge porn
You take your time. Yor satisfaction with the story is far more important than ours. We'll be here.