Bootcamp, Part 4: Evening Colors

Sunset. And, unfortunately, not of the shimmery variety. 

Here’s the shimmery variety. She’s really grown on me these last couple of years.

Basically, evening colors are the opposite of morning colors. It’s when the national ensign is hauled down and stowed for the night and happens at the moment when sunset has been calculated to occur. It’s not precisely when the sun dips below the horizon, but you can’t always use that as a measurement gauge when you’ve got mountains on almost every horizon around here. And if you do the calculations by hand, there’s always going to variations based on skill level, location, the accuracy of the references being used, and so on. But enough about that.

We’re in the home stretch here, and this shorter segment looks at two fundamental questions that I have asked myself on several occasions or have been asked while getting back out into the dating world. It’s one thing to put yourself out into the realm of online dating using a uniformed photo. It’s another to expect viewers to scroll through the profile and notice the “My Little Pony” line at the top of the Interests/Hobbies tab.

Here we go.

1. Why in the world would you do this kind of work?

That’s a complicated question with a long story, but I can boil the genesis down to two words in a movie title.

That movie was the first that I recall having seen in theaters. I was four. I think it might have been the first movie I ever saw, and it left an impression on me that still lingers today. Throughout the years, I've wanted to be a meteorologist, a paleontologist, a marine biologist, a computer programmer, a computer game designer, a professor of history, a preacher, a missionary, and an author. 

But looking back on the pictures taken of me over those same years, what do I see? Me dressed up as a soldier for Halloween. A room covered in plastic army men, GI Joes, toy aircraft and ships, and toy guns; all arrayed in formation or poised for battle. Photos of visits to countless war memorials and military museums. While other elementary kids were playing tag, my few friends and I were drawing maps of the playground as though we were planning the next iteration of Normandy. I remember the first years of the 1990s, listening to stories of the neighborhood kids with their new Super Nintendos. I remained silent in those conversations, not because I didn't have one, but because I felt like too much of a nerd for being excited that a little computer game called F-19 Stealth Fighter had just taught me the basics of evading of doppler radar at low flight altitudes. Not to mention the differences between conventional, limited, and cold wars. I guess it was almost predestined that I would end up in a job like this one. 

For those like to delve into the minds of people, here's one to chew on. I know that I value the life and safety of others over my own. I don't feel like my safety and happiness are worth as much as those of others. Why? I feel like my accomplishments, and potential contributions to society as a whole are far less than most any other person, so why shouldn't it be me that stands in front of a hypothetical flotilla of death? What better contribution could I make than to take a hit meant for someone unable or unwilling to defend themself? In my mind, there is no better contribution that I could make or purpose I could fulfill. Do I wish for that to happen? No. For the most part, I'm good with my life the way it is. I have a lot I want to do with my life. I like to think of people like me as an insurance policy; you hope you never need it to fulfill its ultimate purpose, but it's ready and waiting should a disaster strike.

I wasn't always prepared to go this route. Back in high school, my intent to secure a spot at the Naval Academy was crushed early on. I didn't have the grades, extracurricular involvement, or political allies that were necessary. So, off to college, I strolled with the new intent to major in computer science. That fell through before the end of the first year. My new focus after that was theology, specializing in mission work, and that stuck till my senior year. It was then that I realized this new dream of traveling the world and preaching needed money I didn't have and support I couldn't muster. Now comes the scene in which it all turned around back to my old focal point.

Besides gaming, one of my biggest hobbies in those years was small-scale models. My bedroom was, at one time, guarded by fully painted models of a WW2 battleship, the USS Constitution, the Bell X-1, a B-25 Mitchell, a P-38 Lightning, F-8 Crusader, and SBD Dauntless. And a glossy black '87 Monte Carlo SS Aeroback next to a half-dozen scratch-built rockets, but those aren't part of this tale. During college, I'd saved enough money from my night job to buy a 3ft model of the USS Nimitz. I worked on all semester long. I individually painted and detailed every aircraft and antenne. By the time my senior year was about half over, I had it finished. Then the crisis of employment hit, and my dad had me do something that changed my life's path.

He told me to go to my model and get down so that I would be eye-level with the bridge. I was then supposed to peer through the bridge windows and look down at the flight deck. I did so, and then he asked a question I didn't expect. 

"How do you like the view?"

"It looks really good," I replied.

"Then I think you know what you should do."

I did know. I walked into the local Navy recruiting officer that semester, which will have been 14 years ago this month. Now I have to start thinking about how I can translate these skills I now have into a civilian sector job. As much coffee from them that I drink, I wonder if Black Rifle Coffee Company will be hiring in 6 years?

2. What about being military and the whole ponies thing? Are they even compatible?

That’s a question that’s been done to death by every fan out there in the ponyverse, including myself. I think I went over the high points already back when I typed up my whort little EFNW 2019 blog. So, I’m not going to go back over those details. I will only add an audio reference that does a good job at conveying the type of person that I had become sometime around my 28th birthday.

As for the military connection, my experiences have been mixed but are overall positive. Granted, there have only been a few times when I’ve made my interest and participation in the fandom public knowledge on purpose. 

During my last billet at sea, I was having lunch when someone brought up how their daughter was obsessed with MLP. This triggered an extended tale from my Commanding Officer about how he once went through the enlisted berthing and, upon discovering an “infestation” of “these guys calling themselves bronies” had everyone cease the usage and display of any linen, decoration, or article of clothing that was not Navy issued. Although he did has grounds to stand on as far as regulations go, he admitted that it was primarily so that he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that “these kids” even existed on his ship. On the previous job I held as an instructor, I was within earshot as a group of students discussed this “weird pony thing” for some time and joked about how much they’d beat down anyone they found to be a part of that group. Thus, I’ve played my interests close to my chest for the most part over the years. 

But really, it’s not something that is required to be shouted to the heavens from the high mountain peak.

(I may have overdone it in my excitement at having made it to the peak of Mt Fuji.)

Any hobby or interest or activity will sour another person's opinion of it if they are bombarded by it because of an overenthusiastic fan. There was no need for me to bring my personal life into the workplace, so I didn't. The two are perfectly fine being separate. No harm, no foul.

The once instance when I did bring all this into the daily work life was the same year I was introduced to it all; back in Japan, which will always remain the tour of which I have the best memories. After a holiday party had concluded I was headed back to my car to turn in for the night when the spouse of a fellow officer stopped me. She asked about the sweatshirt I was wearing, which just so happened to have DJ Pon3 splashed across the back. We struck up a short conversation about general nerd culture items and the new My Little Pony show. Fast forward a week, and suddenly that fellow officer is pulling me into his stateroom to show me the original Gangnam Style PMV. He had become a fan too. From then on, the two of us hung out a lot, and much of it was not pony-related, which brings me the infamous night of a game of Risk in the wardroom onboard our ship.

There I was, the brave forces of Europe holding out in Iceland against a North American onslaught out of Greenland. With the situation looking grim, and a sudden burst of inspiration, I pulled forth from a uniform pocket a division of "magic artillery" in the guise of my Twilight Sparkle blindbag. You see, I had picked up a habit of grabbing a random pony figure from my shelf at home every morning before I left, and carrying it around with me in a pocket. That way, every time I reached into the pocket for a pen or something and felt the toy there, I would be reminded to try and emulate whatever Element of Harmony that character represented. It began my daily, rotating goal of self-improvement. That day's random pick had been Twilight, and some spark just told me to "drop the bomb" on the rest of my fellow officers and make my interest known. 

The room erupted in laughter and jeers, but the surprises weren't over yet. My friend, the recently made fan, was next up in the turn list. He was my opponent for that battle. He looked at me, looked at the board, reached into a pocket, and BAM! Applejack on the field of battle! Time for a duel! The pony was out of the bag after that, but no one cared. It truly was an awesome crew of folks who accepted everyone for who they were. Yeah sure, whenever I'd walk into a room for a meeting, someone would play the OG MLP theme song as my intro music and as part of my farewell gift I was given a bag full of sparkly stickers, but that group cared enough to roll with it and make it part of our group dynamic. I think what those folks tried to teach me was: if you're going to be known for something, and you're proud of it, own it. I still haven't figured out how to do that myself, but I'm better than I used to be.

I'm going to admit something else here, too. Before Japan, before the pony phenomena, and more importantly, before the people I've met over the years because of my involvement, I was very bigoted and even a bit racist. Anyone who wasn't like me was not to be trusted, and those I labeled as deviants were to be shunned and ridiculed for their choices. I credit two individuals with changing how I looked at people. One was a co-host of a popular Brony podcast, and the other was a fellow officer on my minesweeper. I came to respect the podcaster, and the officer became a friend. At the time, I didn't know about either of their orientations, because I just don't pick up on social cues that are obvious to most people. Once I learned that I would have actively avoided both of these people, had I not gotten to know them beforehand, I was ashamed of myself. Here were two perfectly nice fellows, undeserving of any negativity, and, only months before, I would have dismissed them outright for being different than me. If nothing else, I can say that the fandom turned me into a better person.

So what about the question regarding compatibility? There are a lot of military fans, so I think the notion that ponies and warfighting are wholly incompatible is moot. And have you seen how popular violent ponies can be? I know I love me some Fallout Equestria! But the short answer from my perspective combines my feelings about the community and my feelings about my job. Just like a nation, our community has its share of deadbeats and dirtbags, but that doesn't make me think of them as any less deserving of the same protections and rights as anyone else. By mellowing my old anger, introducing me to new friends, showing me that there are good people to be found everywhere, and giving me a new respect for the differences that create who we are, the pony fandom has made me stronger. It's made me more willing to endure days without sleep and months without being able to contact family or friends. Because that's just that many more people I feel that I have to be ready for, just in case. It's not just my home or my family or my friends, or those of other people. It's the homes and family and friends of those I've met and come to admire or respect; those I've seen put themselves out into the spotlight to try and demonstrate we can all be snarky and opinionated, but remain respectful and friendly.

One more segment to go. The final piece is “Taps” and looking forward towards the future. It’s been fun putting this together, and a nice break between creative projects. Looking at the Google Doc version, I’ve hit over 60 pages almost 13,000 words so far. A drop in the bucket compared to some folks’ blogs, but I’m content with how this has turned out. Once this is off my plate, it’ll be time to ramp up my work on an old story that’s been languishing in creative purgatory since I stopped writing back in 2012. This week alone I’ve struggled with pros and cons lists about POVs, chapter pacing, reordering the outline of key reveals, and played the flip-flop game of “does this better work at the end or the beginning?” It’s been magical.

Onwards!