Ranking The Valentine's Episodes (From Worst to Best), Version 2

We did indeed get a few more Valentine's themed episodes in this final season, so naturally this list warranted updating. Plus, there was one episode that didn't make the cut last time around that I think deserved to be included here. As this is a themed episode list the criteria is on how the episode works when tied to that specific theme ("Slice of Life" still doesn't count since the wedding was more of a backdrop used to set up the plot and only really came into play at the very end). As always, this list is purely the result of my personal opinion so please respect it. Here's the first version, from February.

9. Dragon Dropped (Season 9, Episode 19)
Why it's on the bottom: Even if they want you to think SpikexGabby (really need to come up with a better name for that ship) is purely a platonic friendship, the subtext and the stuff we see going on in the background makes it perfectly clear that's a romantic relationship. I don't get why they couldn't say Spike and Gabby were dating, if it were taboo for Spike to be in any kind of relationship they never would've let Sparity be a thing for so long in the first place. Because they try to play it off as something it isn't they end up undermining a lot of things, especially the theme of the episode. It's kind of like "Inspiration Manifestation" where it seems they were scared to imply anything other than friendship, regardless of the fact that not all romances work out the first time.

8. The Break Up Break Down (Season 8, Episode 10)
Why it's no longer on the bottom: This episode has too many plots and hardly any of them get any focus. We've got Spike and Discord's bet that goes nowhere, the CMC's search for Sweetie Belle's secret admirer that goes nowhere (why not cut it and put into another episode as its own plot? Surely we could've gotten that over say the likes of "Non-Compete Clause", "A Matter of Principals", or "Yakity Sax"), and the SugarMac plot that is cliche and predictable to a fault. Not even having the episode officially take place on Hearts and Hooves Day can save it, because the holiday barely gets mentioned, you could make it any other day and I don't think we'd lose anything of significance.

7. and 6. A Canterlot Wedding Parts 1 and 2 (Season 2, Episodes 25 and 26)
Why they moved down: Our first official wedding episode and the one we got to see the most of us, you'd think it would be higher than it actually is. But admittedly there are problems with the sudden introduction of both Shining Armor and Cadence, the entire first part is spent on Twilight's perspective of her being suspicious of Cadence, and then the second part amounts to a "Hijacked by Ganon" plot when Queen Chrysalis shows up (though that's probably for the better, I doubt many people would've wanted to see a cliche wedding plot in a show like this). Plus, it's not clear what exactly Cadence does as a princess outside of ceremonial purposes (which is probably why she got her own empire, though even then what does she do there specifically?), and her being the princess of love seems to boil down to rekindling relationships that are on the brink. It's a good two parter, but a little bit of prior establishment of the new characters and a few tweaks here and there (particularly in the infamous call out scene where everyone turns on Twilight) would've made it much stronger.

5. Simple Ways (Season 4, Episode 13)
Why it's in the middle: Even if Rarity should know better after Prince Blueblood, I can see why she might fall for Trenderhoof and make the same mistake. She could've easily convinced herself that Blueblood wasn't the one and that she had to look beyond outward appearances, thus explaining why she falls for Trenderhoof when he's clearly a hipster. Some might say this episode means Applejack is asexual considering she rejects Trenderhoof's advances, but then again we've never seen any of the mane six outside of Rarity ever express any interest in a romantic relationship so if lack of interest is all that it takes then every mane six member except Rarity would be asexual and I doubt they are. But they do kind of friendzone Spike here, and if there was ever a time to do more with his crush on Rarity this would be it. You could argue he already knows this is gonna turn out and he's simply preparing to support Rarity when her crush doesn't return her feelings, but it's never clear that's the case.

4. The Big Mac Question (Season 9, Episode 23)
Why it's in the top half: The focus is definitely on the proposal here, even if the actual proposal and the wedding come late into the episode (and I wish we could've gotten to see more of it). It's nice how they tie all the previous characters from the SugarMac trilogy together and give them all a role to play, big or small. And it's interesting to see how everyone messed up either a little or a lot (though much of the CMC's plot could've been cut since what did it accomplish if they were just going to end up back at Sweet Apple Acres anyway?). It's great that they tied it back to Big Macintosh's parents and we got to see how earth ponies propose (with necklaces), little details like that make the episode that much sweeter.

3. Hearts and Hooves Day (Season 2, Episode 17)
Why it stayed the same: The top three are the same so skip to the end if you saw the original list. I'm still a bit annoyed that they followed up indirectly on CheeriMac here by teasing us with it in the background through Season 4 and possibly into Season 5, then they just dumped it without fanfare in favor of SugarMac in Season 7. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't say that it was never a crush, because while that may have been true for the initial romance that wouldn't explain them continuing to see each other afterward. Putting all that aside, this episode showed us how Hearts and Hooves Day was celebrated to an extent, though quite frankly if there had to be a member of the mane six included in this episode it should've been Rarity and not Twilight. Rarity's absence is especially jarring when it's her boutique that gets destroyed by Cheerilee, and Rarity would probably be willing to let Cheerilee punish Sweetie Belle for the love poison incident. Speaking of which, how the heck puts the recipe for a love poison into a book without even a disclaimer not to try it at home? Those kinds of warnings exist for a reason, because if they aren't there you know someone is probably going to be dumb enough to do what they're not supposed to do.

2. The Perfect Pear (Season 7, Episode 13)
Why it stayed the same: Admittedly these are idealized versions of the Apple parents, they're almost perfect (pardon the pun) though not quite since Bright Macintosh is a bit of a goof ball and a klutz (and perhaps a bit un-coordinated given how he initially held the guitar) while Pear Butter a.k.a Buttercup isn't willing to go against her family even to be with the pony she loves. However, we all know by the start of the episode that the two are going to be together, their romance is a forgone conclusion. It's still a good mystery as to why we haven't heard their story before now, and this episode proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the two were dead (because if they were alive they'd tell their children the story themselves). As a result of the forgone conclusion though, there's one episode that tops it.

1. Hard to Say Anything (Season 7, Episode 8)
Why it stayed on the top: I've talked multiple times about this episode in the past few days so I'm not gonna repeat myself too much on SugarMac and the chemistry that was shown here. What this episode really gets right is how love isn't like a fairytale or a popularity contest. You're not going to win over someone with big, romantic gestures or overly exaggerated displays of affection. Thinking otherwise is dooming yourself to failure. Big Mac only wins over Sugar Belle at the end when he does something nice for her, something that she wanted, and something that wasn't grand or over the top. As for Feather Bangs, he's a good rival to Big Macintosh, and it's not too much of a stretch to think he knows Sugar Belle which is why he has no trouble talking to her, whereas those admirers of his are ponies he's never seen before. Ultimately, for all the reasons I mentioned, this episode remains on the top.

And there you have it, come back tomorrow when we'll update the rankings for the Student Six (even if they get a role in the finale I don't think my opinions of them are going to change very much).

Comments

[superfun]

At first I thought Dragon Dropped was meant to imply romance as well, but after seeing it a few more times, I think it's just meant to convey a strong friendship.

Everything else, I more or less agree with, though I'd put Perfect Pear at number one.

My biggest issue with Break Up Breakdown is the SugarMac plot, which, as you said, is painfully predictable and cliched.
Big Mac temporarily breaking up with Sugar Belle is the only scene in the entire series I have not seen.
Even Grannies Gone Wild, which I find to be a weaker episode for Dash's behavior, I could sit through the entirety of at least once.

[JimmyHook19]

and this episode proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the two were dead (because if they were alive they'd tell their children the story themselves).

They are not dead. -_-

[SuperPinkBrony12]

5197480 How are they not dead with the way everypony keeps talking about and referring to them?

[JimmyHook19]

5197497
Because they aren't dead. They are just missing.