The Stars Revolt: Why Me? · 6:10pm Feb 24th, 2020
Shepherd: "Why did I end up here and not someone more qualified to analyze all this magic stuff? Like Neil deGrassi Tyson? Or Michio Kaku? Or Michael Collins?"
Twilight: "Who?"
Shepherd: "He was the third astronaut on Apollo 11."
Dash: "The guy who didn't land on the moon? Why him?"
Shepherd: "UGH! The reason he didn't walk on the moon is because, if the spacecraft computers failed-which they almost did-he was the only one who could do differential equations in his head and plot out a course to get Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin off the moon, to the command module, and back home safely! He was a math and science genius!"
Dash: "So... He didn't get all the fame and glory and had to stay behind because he was smart?"
Shepherd: "I-NO!"
Hey, when you're the least replaceable one on the mission there's no room for taking risks. Just ask Princess Celestia... wait, the linked story is a retelling of the premiere so none of that has happened yet. Never mind. No spoilers.
Dash: "So you're sayin' that nerds get shafted in your world?"
Shepherd: "No! ...Not really... I mean, not usually..." [Long pause, and then sighs] "....Yeah."
Dash: "Makes me glad I'm just plain awesome."
Shepherd: "Yeah? What's Fleetfoot's best time in the 1000 length dash?"
Dash: "5.4 seconds, but only on days she has a tailwind of at least fifteen trots per hour and has a carefully calc... cu...lated... light breakfast of... just about three hundred..."
Shepherd: [Looks smug and crosses his arms]
Dash: "...Shut up."
Shepherd: "I didn't say a thing, egghead."
Dash: "I know where you sleep."
Shepherd: "I know where you're ticklish."
Dash: "..."
Shepherd: "..."
Dash: "...I'm fine with that."
Shepherd: "OH FOR PETE'S SAKE"
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Fluttershy & Twilight: "WE'RE NOT FINE WITH THAT!"