I wouldn't normally do this, but: My very first childhood best friend, what happened to us and why I'm still sad about it · 1:07am Jun 9th, 2020
Okay, I'm not going to beat around this one. I'm sad. So sad I'm miserable. Why? Because I miss someone.
I miss this person so much because we ended up losing contact a very long time ago. I think about this person literally a few hundred times a day, contemplating and trying to reminisce what scarce memories I have. I have no memory in my head I can visualise, but I have memory from stories told about us when we were friends by their parents and my grandmother. That's it. That's all I have.
Who is this person? Well, I can't even tell you that, and it irks me inside. It's a girl I knew. However, due to my young age, I can't remember her name. I have a few names in my head that are very vague to me that might be hers by chance, but I don't know for sure. If I knew her name, I'd look her up on social media and try my luck finding her.
This only bothers me a lot for the reason this girl was my very first best friend I was told to be inseparable from, and there is a couple of photos of us together that proves it. We'd always be together, be it playing, sitting, running around or in general. If I was somewhere, she was also there. If she was somewhere, I'd be there. We loved each other. One day, we were forced to say our goodbyes by the time school came to an end and from what I hear, there was tears and we kept hugging and not wanting to let go. I don't know why seeing that photo of us again stirred something in me after all this time, but I really want to see her again. The likelihood is beyond slim, I know, but if there's a slight chance, I want it.
To tell the truth and be brutally honest with you, that breakup we were forced to go through maybe more than hurt me in ways I can't fully express, but the damage has shown evidence in my future interactions with others, especially the female population. I hardly bothered to make female friends, likely because of what went on back then. All I want is to have her back with me, like we used to be all the time. If things worked out differently, I can't say how it would have worked out, but I'd like to think we'd still be so close you'd think we were welded at the hip. Being apart doesn't feel right and it emotionally hurts.
I don't know where she is, I can't even recall her name, I don't know if her family is still in town, so I'm stuck in a dead end. Hell, I don't know if she remembers me or if she has a photograph too, like the one I found! But...if she does remember me, I'd like to at least say hello and see how things have been going for her. You have no idea how lonely and disconnected life has become without you around. All I want is my first best friend back and try to continue where we left off.
I miss you more than you'd believe, even if you don't remember me or if I can't recall your name. You were / are still important to me. I'd give anything to see you again, for closure and a chance to catch up.
Excuse me, I need a moment 
Dude hope ya can reconnect with her. Lord knows I wish I could with some of mine....
I hope the two of you are able to reconnect.
5280954
Me, too. The older I get, the more I realise I miss here being around. I wish things were different back then and we never got separated. Almost all other friends I've had couldn't possible compare to the bond we both had, and it sucks. The only remaining friend I grew up with that still lives in my town has known me since we were eight or so, but that's it.
And if you get a chance with your own friends you lost contact with, by all means, go for it. At the first chance, you've got to at least try. When you lose certain people / things, you only then understand how much you miss them, however they became lost. Peace 💛
5280972
I hope so, too. I wish I knew where I put that photo of us now. There are so many of them in our family albums that finding just one is a nightmare. The one I referenced to in the blog, I have no clue what I did with it.
I really hope that she has something like I do from the short time we were friends for, and unlike me, managed to not lose it.
This honestly sounds story worthy. I hope you get a happy ending to this tale
5281873
Before writing this, I was going to make a story based on this event in my life, but stopped as soon as I wrote the first sentence. It only made me sad, so I scrapped it and wrote this instead.
I never feel like writing anymore.
5281977
I understand as this is something that was not pleasant to remember.