Baking with Brady part 3! · 8:58pm Jul 28th, 2020
Now, this is a little similar to my other recipe with the Jello cake and the strawberries, but it'll be just as exquisite. It's a wonderful strawberry pretzel salad, and I'll show you how it's made.
First, after preheating your oven to 350 F, (I don't know the conversion to Celsius for you non-American folk, sorry!) you want to prepare Jello as you normally would, with two cups of boiling water and a normal 6 oz package. We'll set that aside for the moment without putting it in the fridge.
Now, next we'll need 2 and a half cups of pretzels crushed. You can do it in a bowl or in a Ziploc bag with a rolling pin, but I find the bag gets holes in it. Any way you do it, you'll want to crush those bad boys harder than Coronavirus crushed our chances of finding new jobs. They should be a bit of a powder, but it's perfectly all right if there's slightly bigger chunks.
Now, you can set someone else on doing that, while you get to work melting 8 teaspoons of butter, and then stir in 1/4th a cup of sugar. After that, you want to dump in those crushed dreams-I mean, pretzels, and then transfer it to a 13x9 casserole dish.
Now you just want to press the pretzel mix evenly. We want a nice thin layer over the bottom. Bake it in that preheated oven for ten minutes, then let it cool to room temperature. We really want it to be nice and cool enough to put the next layer on without melting. If the room is a bit warm or you're impatient, you can always cover it with a tea towel and set it on the windowsill or the porch. This next step is optional, but if you do this, pray that the neighbor's animals don't eat it first. Like the neighbor's cat, or that crazy guy a few doors over that smells like old leather and cigarettes.
While the pretzel layer is cooling, use a hand mixer to beat 8 oz of cream cheese and 1/2 a cup of sugar until they're fluffy and white, like a ball of cotton. Beat that thing harder than the Giants best the Patriots in every football game, and you'll reach something around the consistency of a cloud. Next, fold in 8 oz of Cool Whip until no streaks of cream cheese remain.
(You know, I never understood why they call it folding. What is this, the laundry? I'm serious, who's the fool that tried to use that word in cooking? "Fold in two eggs"--what? It's like the people that make dry martinis. I don't know how else to tell you this, but all the ingredients are liquid. You can't make a dry martini! Fine, you can add a lemon or a cherry or something, but it'll get wet! Nothing is dry in a drink!)
*ahem* Now take the cool whip cream cheese mix, and spread that evenly over the pretzel layer. Gently now, delicately. Like you're stroking your significant other, or petting a kitten. Go all the way to the edges to create a bit of a seal--you don't want the Jello to leak into the pretzels. If you create a polar bear instead of a seal, you've done something wrong. Pop that in the fridge for half an hour.
Slice a pound of strawberries into itty-bitty chunks and stir that into the room temperature Jello. Pour that mixture over the cooled cream cheese layer and chill it. I love the striking contrast of red and white. The colors go so well together. It reminds me of desserts, but also stop signs, or a child's toy car. The American flag, or lipstick on a gorgeous model, or my flesh soaked in the blood of my enemies. If you're really feeling ambitious, you can use a Jello mixture from blood instead. Either way, it's bound to be a surprising recipe at the party, right?
Strawberries and pretzels? 🍓🥨🍓🥨
That’s a combination you don’t see everyday.
At first I thought that was tomato sauce at first and I cringed.
Then I realized it was strawberries. Now I'm hungry.
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We gotta have a mix of salty and sweet in life; a yin and yang. Yin represents the saltiness in the sweet, and yang represents the sweetness in the salt.
This dish is perfect balance.
Overwatch players are all salt.
And you are all sweet.
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Heheh. Thanks, Brady.
Euuuggghh. That looks so good.
Omg!
Totes amazing!
Looks yum!
I'm so adding this to my recipe list!