This is an apt metaphor for my life. · 2:10am Aug 31st, 2020
So, I just had a fit of pique. To soothe myself, I ordered Popeye’s. Specifically the 1/4 shrimp dinner with extra CAJUN fries and an extra biscuit.
Don’t worry, I’ll burn it off.
I also ordered half a gallon of of their iced sweet tea, because I fucking love sweet tea. Only good thing that came out of the south besides the drug rehab mill phenomenon. I shoulda gotten in on that at the ground floor.
Anyway, tea.
In case you’re wondering, this isn’t a blog bitching about how they fucked up my order. It was made acceptably and delivered early.
No, I’m here to talk about this.
They gave me my tea. In a bag. It’s not even a generic bag they had lying around.
No, this is the kind of bag that someone brought up in a corporate building, a few other bigwigs approved of, then food scientists and engineers worked together to minmax the fuck out of it, got sent to focus testing, suggestions were thrown back and worked in when able/necessary/one of the execs lost a bet, shipped to Popeye’s locations, AND THEN PEOPLE WERE TRAINED HOW TO FILL UP A BAG WITH TEA.
When I first laid eyes on this bag of tea, it took me about ten full seconds to figure out that it was a bag and that the bag was filled with a liquid. And then I was like “what the fuck, dude? What the actual fuck is this?
“Are you going to try to convince me that this is a regional thing? Because the southernmost point in Canada is Mistaken Point and it’s nowhere near where sweet tea comes from.”
Does the bag save space? Maybe? At some point in the process it might shave off a micrometer?
Anyway, fuck bagged tea.
Maybe they did it to save cardboard? *Shrug*
Also, how is this a metaphor for your life?
5345775
Bagged tea is a monkey’s paw.
I got what I wanted, but at what cost?
That's...really fucking special. They must've been celebrating when they came up with this one.
5345778
Your sanit-oh, now I get it.
It´s pretty simple. You are in the "BAG" point of ecologic bullshit.
You see, every year the powers to be (nowadays, slightly autistic teen girls) decide that something trivial is the reason why the planet wil implode under the weight of human recklessness.
Actually, the planet will be just fine. It will shrug it and wait for the next species to appear and fuck the enviroment enought to kill itself. Again.
So we had the baaaaaad straws wave, the even badeeeeeer (yeah, not a valid word...sue me) plastic rings and the evilest of the evils plastic cups.
But, you see, a plastic bag is not a plastic cup !!!! So annoying screaming high scholl girls can´t complain ´bout your company containers decisions.
´Till next year. When it all starts anew. And we can go and complain ´bout the next trivial harmless thing when, in reality, PEOPLE are the problem. You see, you can use plastic rings, straws, cups and whatever you want...just take care to not drop those things in the sea. It´s that simple. But, no, let´s make life more difficult, complaining that inanimate things, that can´t move, or take decisions, are the responsible to turn our seas in a giant dumpster. Not us, people. Things are the problem, for sure.
Yep, definitely space saving, empty it's almost completely flat, a far cry from the space typical one gallon bottles would take. Honestly it's no crazier than Dunkin's Box O Joe which is a bag in box filled with hot coffee.
Dude, I mean, it's a teabag. It's perfectly sensible.
There is probably some US exec of the company that heard the term "teabag" and—completely not understanding the concept or bothering to search for the 2 seconds required to correct the misconception—threw the idea of "teabags" to the design team to make reality.
Could you imagine the fucking meeting.
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When it is empty, it is almost completely flat and stacks easily. It is like pizza boxes. They are square so they can be made from a single piece of cardboard and stacked crazy high, then folded together at the location.
The real problem here, is that if the US used the metric system, then it would be a two liter bag of tea and your tea levels would be enhanced by over 5%.
In some places milk comes in a bag, I have been told, and that also makes me this angry.
What were you expecting it to come in? A 64 oz cup with a tiny smaller cup on the bottom so it can be advertised as fitting in your cup holder?
If this is a metaphor for your life, which part of it represents the sexual assault?
Looks like you just got... teabagged.
5345874
The part where I woke up half an hour ago and puked.
5345836
Not in a bag, I’ll tell you that much.
5345876
They should offer a service where they give you a funnel and you can chug it right at the drive through.
5345881
I would pay real money for that.
It saves the company money, plus it greatly reduces waste so they can pretend they give a shit about the environment
5345778
Depends, how much did you pay for the tea?
5345910
$3.30 for the half-gallon.
But it’d be hard to pin down a price on stolen dignity.
5345951
You created the Beanis-verse and your claiming to have dignity?
That's like Twilight claiming she mindlessly obeys Princess Celestia because she's worried she would be nothing without the title of Faithful Student.
Possible, but the damned farthest thing from plausible this side of the Galaxy.
5345963
I compartmentalize my dignity with excellent efficiency.
5345965
Not well enough if your worrying about how Popeye's sells it's tea apparently.
I'm surprised no one pointed out the literal reason you got your tea in a godless bag: that's from the CATERING side of the menu. Popeye's does cater, and they cater drinks in bags because trying to make and then transport filled cups - with lids or not - is an exercise in insanity and cleaning bills and potential lawsuits.
The bags solve that issue.
If you had ordered a standard cup size, you'd get a cup. But you wandered in the gallon sizes and blammo.