Hi everyone. · 8:17pm Oct 10th, 2020
Hope you are all doing well. It's been a long while, hasn't it?
Sooo... 2020 is still a shitshow, of course. There does appear to be light at the end of the tunnel with at least a few good vaccine candidates close to finishing Phase 3 with good safety and efficacy, but even then it's still probably going to take until at least February 2021 before they can get distributed widely. The economy is in the sewer and shit everywhere is totally fucked up.
Meanwhile, after taking an entire gap year, I've been back in my doctoral program since August. Recording research participants, writing another grant, writing my dissertation, TAing for a class, doing part-time clinic, a full class load, formative exams coming up, and not to mention applying to several full-year externships for next year… shit’s crazy right now. Add COVID-19 bullshit on top of all of it, and you’ve got yourself a pretty exhausting week after week.
But you want to know what? Shit in the world might be fucked up right now, but for me? I’m just peachy. Why?
…Well, I dunno exactly. As Kronk would say, by all accounts it doesn’t make any sense. If this was my workload at the same time last year? Pretty confident in saying that I’d be fucking dead in a ditch somewhere or something. But for whatever reason, despite being rusty and having a whole year mostly away from academia, and being suddenly thrust back into a full workload that is by all accounts the busiest I’ve ever had, it almost feels like someone just… plugged in my brain? And this isn’t just one of those “I’m in a hypomanic state and in three days I’m gonna be in the depths of despair” kind of situations. This has been consistent for the last two months.
Now, I know I had the luxury of taking a year away from the program to regroup, so that undoubtedly is the main X factor in making a successful transition. But other things have changed, too:
1.) From 12/14/2019 to 8/13/2020, I lost 90 pounds (265 to 175), dropping from about 40% body fat to about 15-17%. Currently, I’ve been maintaining weight at around 175-178 lbs since then.
2.) I managed to co-author 3 different publications that have been published all this year, with another likely on the way.
3.) I’m doing very well as a TA from my class so far.
4.) I managed to successfully fix a piece of equipment that no one was able to fix for the last two years thanks to three days of troubleshooting, so I feel pretty good about that.
5.) I have my foot in the door for at least a couple of amazing externships. No guarantee I’ll get in or anything, but I have a solid chance.
6.) I’m pretty sure I aced my midterms this semester.
7.) Clinic isn’t completely fucking killing me so far!
8.) I’m consistently getting work done even when I’m very tired, and for once I’m actually mentally able to make my own time on the weekends and evenings to breathe and relax before getting back to work. So basically, I’m compartmentalizing better than I’ve been able to in the past.
9.) My roommates are great.
10.) My classmates are great.
So yeah, that’s pretty much it. For once, things are going alright and I’m making it through each week with my head still on my shoulders. Does that mean I’m not super stressed and tired a lot of the time? No, not at all. Yesterday, I took a 30 minute nap on a table in a random fucking study room using my sweatshirt as a pillow. But I’m actually managing things, now. I’ve got a second chance and I’m trying to take advantage of it.
As for FimFiction, my ability to write stories… yeah, not gonna happen until after my formative exams are done in December. I’m gonna sleep for two days straight after those, but then after that? I’ve got some ideas… and one of those ideas is the sequel to Hoof Covers Bruise. I’m actually itching to get it started.
Hope you are all getting by during these fucked up times. But don’t listen to the doubters about the vaccine; one is coming, and it’s going to be safe and quite effective. Just not before Election Day.
Stay safe everyone.
Arwhale
Glad to hear you're doing better, especially during this messed up times, we need all the good news we can get
It's great to hear that, Arwhale. Because my father is in fairly rapidly failing health, I've been in a sort of reflective mood, so I don't want to not say this, but on the other side of things, fair warning that this may get sappy.
I'm proud of you. You've come a long way in your mental outlook. I'm sorry I've been so distant. I wish I had dedicated more time to FimFiction over the past few months/years, both with my own writing, and in building and maintaining relationships with other authors. But I'm glad I met you, and it's great to see that you're doing well. Good luck in getting those externships and in your academic work, and I know you'll do amazing wherever you find yourself next!
You've managed to lose weight during this pandemic?!
I'm glad that it sounds like you're doing better. It sounds like that time off was what you really needed. And congrats on the weight loss, i've dropped a bit over this as well, although nowhere what you've done.
5375398
Thanks man. I hope you are doing okay during these fucked up times, as well! Stay safe and healthy, man.
5375466
I'm sorry to hear about your father. I hope you are able to be with him to at least some degree during these tough times. I am glad to have met you, too! And thank you for the well-wishes, I am going to need a little bit of luck to get through this semester, at least!
5375648
Yep! I've been counting calories with MyFitnessPal for several months now and it's worked wonders. HIGHLY recommend it! I've also picked up running again and that helps keep my mental and physical health up.
5376216
Thanks man! I think the time off was necessary, too. I'm fortunate that I had that option, but my professors were on board with letting me back after a year gap since they knew what my work ethic and my abilities were like prior to my... well, complete breakdown. But things are much better, now!
And as for weight loss, congrats on what you've been able to lose, man! It's certainly not a contest, and during this pandemic, losing any weight that you need to lose is a GREAT thing. Congrats, man!