L-Space and the Library of Fics That Could Have Existed · 11:14pm Nov 25th, 2020
Blog Number 117: Checkpoint Chokepoint Edition
Impossible Numbers' First Rule of Ironic Performance: "The ambition of a writer increases in inverse proportion to their actual success rate."
Or to put it in less highfalutin': when you start feeling like a failure, you start planning bigger and crazier projects.
Minor writing report. Currently need 18.5k words to reach a 100k target this month. Unfortunately, I'm also visibly slowing down and getting a bit lost among projects.
You ever do that thing where you start an ambitious project, do well for a while, then find yourself flagging, so you "take a break" with a smaller project, do well for a while, then find yourself flagging again, so you "take a break" with an even smaller project, do well for a while, then etc., etc., and before you know it, you get stuck amid a dozen projects with a lot of frustrated stalling and no clear priority?
I don't, because that would be an impressive show of organizational skill compared with what I'm actually doing.
In the Discworld series, there's this concept called L-Space. The magical library of the Discworld's Unseen University is filled with all sorts of improbable books, accessing not just books written, but books that are going to be written, books that exist in other universes in other libraries, books that existed in the past but mysteriously vanished, and books that were never written at all but which might have been written if, say, the author was not eaten mid-chapter by a rampaging alligator.
If that's true, then they must have a whole section devoted to me, because when I think of the number of tantalizing books I could have written if I'd actually had the brain to pull them off, the phrase "hundreds upon hundreds" sadly comes to mind.
It's at times like this I regret my self-imposed rule not to publish anything that's not actually complete, because it otherwise feels like a lot of work has gone down the drain. Yeah, there's the argument that it actually is helping because it constitutes practice, but that's not much comfort when what you'd really like is some evidence you're getting anywhere.
It's not like I understand why one scene works and another doesn't. At least publishing it would prove I haven't been sitting on my hands for dozens of hours.
In fact, one of the hardest things to learn is that a cool character idea, worldbuilding note, funny scene, and so on do not constitute a completed story. It's sort of like thinking you've made a fantastically designed multicellular organism and then discovering you've merely made a liver. It might be well-designed, but it's just a part: it can't work on its own.
The sting is not one you can get around. Inventing and designing characters is one of my favourite activities, but lots of them end up as mere imaginary curiosities, without a story to call their own. It's terrible having lots of homeless imaginary friends hanging around on street corners looking for a story arc, some character development to call their own, guv. Really, any change would do. God bless.
So naturally, one thing I wouldn't mind doing is looking at the tags used on my older works, or tags I've used only rarely, and write something new to bring it up-to-date.
- For instance, I wouldn't mind writing a Sunny Flare and Lemon Zest fic again - Zesty, But With Style had the seeds of some interesting ideas for them, but its gimmicky all-dialogue style and lack of real narrative makes it look more like a throat-clearing exercise than like a serious attempt at their characters. Have toyed with the idea of writing their pony versions and setting it in Equestria, but at this point my mind gets out of hand with the possibilities and I have to run just to keep it in sight.
- Another instance is writing an actual Cutie Mark Crusader fic, or a Cheerilee fic, or another Zecora fic. They don't get much attention from me as it is despite how much I like them, and when Cutie Mark Espionage Agency is just sitting there, it's tempting to recycle a lot of its dormant ideas and give them an actual chance to see the light of day.
- A third is something to do with Coloratura. I've had loads of ideas for her. How is it I've only tackled her a couple of times, and one of those was - you guessed it - an incomplete fic? You tell me.
- Then I've been toying with the idea of some kind of Pillars fic, because they'd be perfect for some myth-inspired adventuring. Could be set in their native time, could be set in modern Equestria, could be a total Alternate Universe rewriting the very world they live in to suit their themes (Mistmane in particular I wouldn't mind giving this treatment to, since she's very fortunately rooted in the rich mythos of Southeast Asia).
- And then there are ideas I've had about Petunia Paleo and her palaeontological/archaeological fixation, Hayseed Turnip Truck and how to make him interesting, I wouldn't mind adding to my White Lightning collection just to keep my hand in there, Grace Manewitz and the Manehattan scene, a ponified Australia called Didgeridoo, giving Amethyst Star a fic after giving Derpy and Dinky substantial ones...
Gawd, I feel like Buridan's Donkey, except replace the hay and the watering hole with about twelve different tempting writing ideas. I've never figured out how to focus on a specific project in the long run.
It's like dieting: you can keep to it for a while, but one temptation here, a little slip-up there, a loss of interest elsewhere, and suddenly you're back where you started.
Longfic, mediumfic, shortfic, scenefic, complexfic, familiar genre, new genre, unusual genre... no matter how I play, I never seem to win the game except by apparent chance.
Look, I'm not saying all this because I'm expecting someone to swoop into my comments and say, "Oh, have you considered this...?" and then I suddenly miraculously amazingly improbably have no problems from thereon out, forever and ever, and go off dancing with the fairies of Happy-Happyland.
No. It's merely that sometimes, I just want to jump on a blog post and scream.
At least I seem to be improving. I was a lot more miserable about this sort of thing in previous years, to the point I nearly had mental breakdowns and considered throwing in the towel. Whereas by now, I just assume it's a rough patch I'll eventually walk around. It's depressing, yes, but manageable, even if only by complaining on a blog post for a few minutes.
Tomorrow, I might just be in a much better mood. And in a few days, I'll have figured out whether or not 100k was a feasible target and can adjust my expectations for December accordingly.
You live, and you learn, though you don't always have to like it.
Until then, you know the drill: work continues as ever. Hopefully, I'll have something to show for it before the end of November.
Impossible Numbers, out.
I find the trick there is getting myself to take a break by picking up one of the projects I took a break from earlier. I wrote about half of my latest story months ago and only figured out what to do with those organs in the last few days.
Here's hoping you get through the rough patch soon.
I did the math and I see a bit of slowing down. But still, even if you should slightly miss the 100k mark, it will still be an outstanding result. Writing almost 100,000 words in a single month isn't an easy task. You deserve a reward for that.
Not to mention the month isn't over yet and there is still a chance of making it. It isn't unheard of that athletes who already struggle and slow down, unexpectedly pick themselves up once the finish lines comes into view and that they still make their speed record then, by running twice as fast as before.
What I suggest now for the remaining five days:
Pick the story that you feel inspired for the most and write only for that anymore until the month is over. The higher inspiration will give you an extra boost.
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So, that means this library also contains all ponyfics that have never been completed or published and, most importantly, all books that have been written in Equestria. This is incredible. If I ever get there, in a different life that comes after this one, going into that library and reading all the equestrian books and literature could prove helpful. I'll remember that.
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Or maybe, instead of an alligator, it was an intoxigator and they killed it and then sat down in the wine cellar and smoked a bong.
Don't ponder this too hard, it's an inside joke.
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Maybe, releasing those unfinished stories in some place would be a solution for that problem? Not here on your mane account, but somewhere else? You could make another account, either here or on a different site, for WIP stories. Or you could just make a dedicated Google Drive account, upload unfinished works to it and occasionally promote it or mention it with a link in a blog entry, so that interested fans of your writing, who don't mind reading something that's incomplete, can check it out?
That way, you could give these incomplete stories some more purpose (especially if you allow commenting on the works in Google Drive) and you would still keep this account here clean with only finished and polished works.
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I am always down for that!
Once..... I find..... time..... to read it..... 
Even though I just read a long ponyfic this month, finally, after having missed it ever since 2013 and having known it for a year now. At least, I hope that means there is progress on that struggle and that I can manage to regularly read again soon.
The judgemental stare by Sweetie Belle is deserved. I keep inspiring story ideas and then don't read the finished stories.
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Where can I sign up for this? I just wrote a story for Petunia myself and maybe another one can create some momentum that sparks more authors to write for her. This filly is so interesting and yet she gets overlooked like she doesn't matter, this is criminal.
Also, don't answer this comment now. I can wait with a response until December 1st or until you broke through the 100k, whatever happens first. You have writing to do.
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I took your advice and refrained from responding (much) to comments and PMs and things, though I did alert a few people to what I was up to. And... now I got a mad dash to make up for lost time!
Although it certainly helped keep me focused, to be fair.
Keep in mind: the library of Unseen University is a dangerous place. The magic books alone can do terrible things to the unprepared, to say nothing of getting lost in the near-infinite (and stranger) reaches of L-Space. It's a running theme throughout the Discworld series that using magic to complete tasks is like beating spiders to death with a rattlesnake. A live rattlesnake.
At the moment, I'm trying a two-pronged strategy instead: have one large project, but do some smaller projects in-between its breaks. It avoids the problem of revealing too much too early (if anything, publishing those incomplete works led to me abandoning them), but also gives a regular sense of achievement.
Admittedly, it's a strategy I've struggled with for the longest time, but then I've struggled to achieve close to 100,000 words in a month, and I managed that. I'm certainly willing to give it another go.
If you like, though by now you know my stance re: how compulsory reading such works would be (i.e. it isn't).
Given how successful that particular project turned out to be, you go right ahead and inspire more, if you like. Although I certainly haven't finished with the CMC yet. If anything, this recent project is just the first arrow fired. I intend to aim at more targets on their behalf.
I think the problem is - as with many side characters - she wasn't given a lot of focus or emphasis. Unlike Gabby the Griffon, she never had an episode devoted to her at all. Which is a shame, because CoffeeMinion made an excellent case for the similarities between Petunia Paleo and Pinkie Pie, and I'd really like to write a fic starring them both that did that comparison justice.
Work, as ever, continues unabated...
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Whoops! Sorry about that. I didn't mean to leave you hanging so long. Got a bit overzealous with the "shut everything else out and focus on this" mentality lately.
Mmmmmm...
I have tried that a few times before, but never with much elegance or success. I just never seemed to click before.
That said, I did revisit (recent) projects and go back and forth in November, so it's clearly not impossible. I suppose I could try it again and see if I can keep the momentum going.
Ha! See next blog post for how that went.