fJd Review: All Against One · 9:32pm May 10th, 2021
Overview:
A quirky robot fight set in Equestria, against an OC called “Sid.”
My Thoughts:
A tidy little adventure set in one scene, though it should really be two with a transition near the end. Even without that, a nice little comedy bit worth reading from a writer I’d like to see more of because I am certain they can greatly improve their technique while establishing a style all their own.
Characterization:
Original Characters
Sid
The evil frenemy to the Mane Six, and the main antagonist of this short story. Sid’s goal if the Tree of Harmony and the power it represents. He’s fascinating
Character Development:
This is a particularly short story, which doesn’t offer a lot of room for development in characters. So what we have is semi-established characters from canon, and an OC with a rapport with them. But really, it’s Sid that shines here as his character had the most solid foundation and cleanest execution.
Theme:
Goofball villain tries again, heroes thwart him. It’s a one-off, but could stand to be written as a series of increasingly zany attempts at taking the Tree of Harmony without all sorts of contraptions. The vibe is something like Heinz Doofenshmirtz in Phineas & Ferb, but more personal to the Main/Mane cast.
Logic:
Logic hasn’t got much place in a story like this, honestly. It’s silly and fun, not to be taken too seriously but also not to be dismissed offhandedly. It might be easy to question the logic of such a mech existing in a world like Equestria, but why bother when the story isn’t in serious tones? It’s light-hearted fun, and that is something I can appreciate.
Rating:
Story Idea: 8.0
(For a quick write and read, this has dazzling potential. I enjoyed it. I feel like this author could easily expand on this concept alone to create a lasting comedy series with impact. I felt myself wanting to know more about Sid, even.)
Writing Style: 6.5
(It’s clunky, to be honest. It flows just well enough, but there are points where dialogue could be better explained, and sometimes is even confusing. Alas, the lack of a proper transition from the end of the fight to the beginning of Sid’s punishment leaves something to be desired. It is there that it felt a little rushed, but really only a little. So really, this just needs a once over with a good editor and a little extra meat on the bones.)
Entertainment Factor: 9.0
(It is entertaining, the visuals are zany and well placed without being too over the top. I like how the author included proper balance, so that no one character was too powerful for an oversized mech and the fight, while deliberately short and still rather easy for the Mane Six, was also still not an entirely sure thing. Which, for such a light-hearted story, is quite an accomplishment.)
Inner Logic: 8.0
(While I don’t understand the motivations beyond “Sources of Power”, I do appreciate that the antagonist is trying to secure an advantage in his quest to… something. But that’s not important here. Enjoy the story, and the absence of certain logics only strengthen it.)
Final: 7.875
Feedback/Final Thoughts:
I’ve actually said it a few times by now, but really, this could stand up well as a series of stories in the same vein with the same character. For a sudden idea mane manifest, it’s a good read. But it did feel rushed in the execution, there were bits where narrative would have been beneficial to the reader and leaving out details like who was speaking and their tone doesn’t do much to set a scene. Still, impressive!
Thanks for the review. Also, what are some things that you like about Sid and do you want to see his descriptions for his personality, backstory, etc.?
If so, here's a link to his wiki page below:
Sid
Also, he's supposed to be the main antagonist and arch-frenemy of the fan-made series of the show. He also does help the heroes of his own volition when needed and can be genuinely nice to them when they're not fighting him, as well as his minions and others, despite still not being fully redeemed yet.