), I do love fussing over stats where anything of interest is concerned, Fimfic included. Happily, I’m not alone (because duh Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #2 · 6:00pm Mar 14th, 2022
Twilight: "Interest. In Our Reviews. Of Fics. Fics. Fics! FICS!!!"
Spike: [sighs] "'Don't worry about it, Spike,' Ghost Mike said. 'Twilight's not gonna go bananas if we get more views and interest than expected, don't be silly!' he said. Shows what he knows. Guess we can add 'noghost ever listens to Spike' to the list."
Well, Twilight.exe breaking down excepted, this review series is off to a good start! A lot of that can be credited to Loganberry’s Signal Post, which as far as I can tell, close-to-doubled the views of #1 and also got the extra eyeballs of some notable current and former Ponyfic Reviewers on this (hello, Present Perfect, Pascoite, Chris!). I hope, in the future, to justify this attention and that of others.
Not nearly as long an intro this week, of course; we’ll get to the stories shortly. I just want to go over some of my rating tiers briefly, and some important distinctions to make. Not that I don’t think the reviews speak for themselves, at least with repeated exposure in the coming weeks/months. But some people like knowing this info upfront, so here’s some baseline criteria. Best to start with the Bookshelf descriptions themselves. Extra bits in italics are added just for this.
Bad: There’s something going very wrong, and there’s little worthwhile to offset it. Often the fic is filled with things happening just because, has poor characterisation, is technically malnourished, or a combination of all three. These are the kind of fics one abandons rather than finishing.
Weak: There's some potential here, but it's either crushingly mediocre all around, or an equal balance of bad and good. Possibly worth the read if the subject matter appeals to you and/or it's short, but even in that case, you can pass on this with no regrets. These fics are usually very forgettable, and thus the hardest to write reviews for, because discussing blandness bores fast.
Passable: Doing enough right that I don't regret reading it. Some fics here may be otherwise Weak but have an element(s) of note to push them up, while others are just serviceable all around. If it's short or the subject matter appeals to you, a worthwhile diversion. I'd drag my heels (wait, ghosts haven’t got those…) about recommending it, though, especially if it's longer.
Decent: Worth the read. Little special about it, either due to lots of small flaws, a few big ones, or having little standout. But it's likeable, and while I wouldn't actively recommend it, I might suggest it as a casual read if it came up in conversation. A place for competent if unremarkable fics. By their very nature, many fluff pieces end up here.
Pretty Good: We’re starting to get somewhere here. There’s something holding these fics back from the kind of quality that encourages rereads, or enthusiasm on the level of gushing. Or perhaps the subject matter and delivery by their very nature puts a ceiling on the fic’s bounds. Regardless, you’re quite glad to have read it, and there’s enough to earn a recommendation.
Really Good: This provided enough of a great time that it's worth a reread at some point, length permitting. The kind of fic you’re delighted to have read, and know you’re talking proper writing quality, not just fanfiction. The flaws can't be ignored, and I'd be hard-pressed to claim you "have" to read it, but I'd still recommend it strongly enough.
Excellent: Everyone should read these, no questions asked. Not even your tastes in genre or characters matters. There might be room for a little improvement, but it's doing enough things really well that I have little to say against it. Many fics here are so compelling in execution and reader involvement that the flaws simply don’t matter. Writing of this quality rewards your faith in the fandom.
If a fic is absolutely abysmal, it may land in a special 0-star tier, Terrible, but as such fics are almost guaranteed to not pop up in this series to begin with, it’s largely a footnote, and will only be mentioned if applicable that week. Frankly, Bad will be rare too, fics of that level usually telegraph their quality from the outside pretty obviously, and thus one doesn’t bother with them.
Okay, that’s enough of a prelude. Let’s get to our pony fiction! 6 fics this week, and all on the short side. No connection yet, though I’m thinking next week will be all Rarity fics (I’ve read a fair number of them lately, somehow). That'd be a decent first theme, no?
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
Cloudy Skies and Cherry Pies by Zaphod
Would Bang by Aragon
Plush Hour by Imaginary Valued
Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea by GhostOfHeraclitus
The Incognito Cart by bahatumay
From Princess Twilight Sparkle, President of the Twinkle-Nebula-Frie-Neutron Family Reunion by Georg
Weekly Word Count: 17,474 Words
Cloudy Skies and Cherry Pies by Zaphod
Genre: Romance/Slice of Life/Comedy
Pinkie, Spitfire
2,129 Words
April 2014Reread
Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Pinkie enjoys laying back on grassy hills, watching the unique cloud shapes that float on by, and eating tasty pies and cherries. Today, she brings a new friend, Spitfire, to partake in this relaxation.
The author openly admits this story was willed into being from their reaction to the cover art. Fair enough, it’s adorable. And the story itself is pretty cute, just from Pinkie being her typical friendly self to a nonplussed Spitfire, who is already far more mellow than usual – clearly Pinkie has sanded her abrasive attitude down considerably.
Not really much happens. There’s an early throwback to an incident Pinkie caused when showing up at a Wonderbolts show, and then the bulk of the fic is Spitfire being nonplussed by the cloud watching, followed by some reflection on Pinkie that lets Spitfire see beyond her being an always-active live wire. Then it wraps up with an intentionally groan-inducing joke (spoiled, sadly, by the fic’s description, so watch out). There’s just enough incident and character reflection to make this not ONLY a fluff piece, but it is still basically just that.
It goes down easily enough, and as far as making an unlikely pairing have merit, it does the job (albeit from playing out very similarly to how Rainbow Dash/Pinkie Pie stories, and especially fluff pieces, play out). Those especially fond of cute, fluffy, snack-sized romance fics, with harmless innuendos abounding for comedy, will get the most out of this.
Rating: Passable
Would Bang by Aragon
Genre: Comedy/Romance
Big Mac, Other, Cheerilee
4,558 Words
February 2016Reread
Big Mac’s three friends find themselves talking over lunch about who they’re most… romantically interested in. When he mentions Cheerilee and gives his rationale, they do what only the best bros do – they band together to get him with the girl of his dreams. Even when he being mere months off of graduating and her being a member of staff (albeit a very young, fresh one) throws obstacles in the way.
This is completely over-the-top comedy silliness in full Aragon mode, and then some. It’s a very, very knowingly stupid fic, running jock humour several miles into the ground. But it is completely sincere and guileless in its stupidly, and thus the baseline story works. Even when the main joke of “Bro!” is basically just a thing that happens, the side comedy placed around it is very good (several have cited Principal Celestia’s moments as the best, and, you know, I won’t dispute that). Despite this being many miles removed from my usual choice of fic, there wasn’t a moment throughout I wasn’t grinning. Almost enough to make up for not really having belly laughs, though those more willing to surrender to silly stupid fics may differ there.
If you’ve read any Aragon fics before, you know what you’re in for. This is a solid output from a reliable author. Some may like it better than others, but its confidence and great jokes around the main ones make it worthwhile even for those not normally into fics like this.
Rating: Pretty Good
Plush Hour by Imaginary Valued
Genre: Comedy/Random/Slice of Life
Spike, Twilight
3,000 Words
April 2015Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Alone time on the weekend! With no duties to take him away, Spike busies himself playing the part of gentle host to his guest, a special someplushie. No, there’s nothing weird about that. And he continues to think so on his way to a nice relaxing bath later. Though perhaps he picked the wrong time to check up on the other pony he cares the most about.
I have to be frank: most of this fic is a right snoozefest. It largely stays in a gentle, sincere tone, one that doesn’t seem to realise the comedy potential of its contents. More alarming is how most of the fic’s first half, and especially a lengthy diversion into the origin of Spike’s plushie, has virtually no bearing on the rest of the fic. Seriously, it could start at Spike on his way to having a nice bath and lose nothing. Or at the bare minimum, excise the origin that feels like it jumped out of another story.
In any case, at the halfway point there is a scene of such startling content, one which, while the centrepiece of the plot, doesn’t tonally mesh with what came before. Nor after, as Spike basically finds a way to ease Twilight’s embarrassment. This tonal and focus flip-flop means neither of the nice things he does for Twilight doesn’t register. In order for the fic to work, it would either need to fully commit to the tone of the middle reveal, or rework that to better fit with the rest.
It gives me no pleasure to say this about a fic where Spike is a good friend to Twilight, something we always need more of, but I can’t recommend this fic. It’s both all over the place and a drowsy read.
Rating: Weak
Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea by GhostOfHeraclitus
Genre: Sad/Slice of Life
Twilight, Celestia
1,671 Words
October 2012Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Morning rituals are a funky thing. Sometimes they serve an obvious purpose. Sometimes they’re just something you do regularly because it would feel wrong to not do them. Sometimes they’re both. Sometimes they’re neither.
Sometimes, a cup of tea is just a cup of tea. This is not one of those times.
I’m surprised that I had never read a fic by GhostOfHeraclitus before this – despite having only written four fics (though one of them is in essence a short story collection), I’ve heard his works praised in numerous places, not least as regards his physical book Tales from the Civil Service, which includes every piece of Ponyfic he’s written except for two short stories from said short story collection, and this. Guess this is as good a place to start with his work as any! It does beg the question of what I can say about a RCL-inducted fic that virtually everybody reading this will have already read.
The fic takes the form of Twilight going through her scientific routine of preparing her tea, all of which is told straightforward with little direct personal thoughts, but with it bubbling below the surface. This is contrasted with Twilight recollecting Celestia’s tea-preparing ritual when she studied under the Princess in Canterlot, and these fragmented memories allow thoughts and emotions to seep through more vividly.
It’s instantly easy to see why GhostofHeraclitus is praised as a writer. Here is a “pony does x mundane activity” fic, about tea of all things, yet it is so much better than that genre of fluff can usually hope to reach. For starters, the restraint in the fic drip-feeding us info is admirable enough, but then it had the guts to not put the pieces together for us. This has led to some occasional confusion and dissatisfaction in the comments over the years, but it’s not that complex, if one is willing to engage with the fic.* Indirect storytelling doesn’t get much better than this, and the end note, where Twilight herself fails to understand what she’s been trying to figure out, is a bittersweet yet beautiful capstone to this.
* Intellectual honesty compels me to admit I have read Ulysses, almost a decade ago in Book Club no less (the phantom biscuits were to die for 
), so I am perhaps not the best judge of what level of work is reasonable on the reader’s part for non-straightforward works of fiction.
Honestly the fic’s other great achievement might be how it treats Twilight being out of her depth. She’s trying to recapture something through scientific measures that cannot be recreated that way, and the alteration between clinical present and nostalgic past lets this sink in far more than stating it directly could ever be done.
There’s no end of other things I could say about this fic. GhostOfHeraclitus’ command of written language is truly fantastic, every word chosen with careful precision and sharpened with a scalpel. That goes double for the length, as perfect an endorsement for my belief that every story has its own right length if ever there was one. I’ve read published fiction from very talented authors who haven’t handled either of those things this well. One last highlight worth spotlighting is how the characterisation for Celestia is implied without even Twilight herself realising it, striking a sort of balance between seeing Twilight’s image of the Princess yet allowing us to see why she does what she does, beyond what the text tells us.
If by some chance you haven’t read this yet, make that an instant priority. Or cuddle up for Scribbler’s 12-minute reading with a cup of tea yourself, perhaps. Coming from someone who doesn’t even like tea (it doesn’t agree with ghosts, you see; it goes right through us), that’s an endorsement and a half.
Rating: Excellent
The Incognito Cart by bahatumay
Genre: Slice of Life
Pinkie, Sassy Saddles, Rarity, Spitfire
5,015 Words
February 2022
Canterlot ponies may keep up an image of only eating the finer things in life, but that doesn’t mean they’re happy with a diet of health-conscious food containing such low calories. Thankfully, the city also has a not-really-secret secret – a food cart that pops by unannounced every now and then, under the cover of night, and where, for being anonymous, you can get all the greasy, deep-fried food they want. And thus, everypony flocks to the Incognito Cart.
This was delightfully entertaining. Also cute and clever. The pleasures are undeniably simple – a knowing silliness played straight, Pinkie being Pinkie, our lead being nonplussed before giving in to the wonder that is the Incognito Cart. Yet within those boundaries, the execution and flow is smooth as butter (heh), moving from minor characters as our gateway into the concept to our actual leads, all while having the right mix of ridiculous conceptual lore played straight straddled along clever jokes and proudly stupid ones (there’s one pun here I won’t dare spoil). It’s certainly a very good example of a story that feels right within the show’s universe, yet is something that could only ever exist in fanfiction.
And then, the story’s back half takes an unexpected turn into something more sincere, which at first glance reads like a weird direction, but in hindsight only shows how the point of the Incognito Cart bringing ponies together really does carry meaning beyond the duration of its visit. Or something. Whatever it does mean is immaterial in light of the fact of how the butter-smooth flow is kept strong here, making it all fit. Even the unorthodox choice of ponies involved works.
I can imagine this fic feeling like a lot of wheel-spinning for one not won over by its concept and silly tone (and good thing its story ends up having a little more to say and do, I’m not sure if the first half’s material and tone could have been sustained for the whole 5,000 words). For anyone else, though, it’s a great silly read, ideal for a laugh and a smile.
Rating: Really Good
From Princess Twilight Sparkle, President of the Twinkle-Nebula-Frie-Neutron Family Reunion by Georg
Genre: Comedy
Twilight
1,101 Words
October 2015Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Rather than consign the family reunion to another meetup in Fillydelphia, Twilight volunteers Ponyville as the newest meetup place, putting up the guests in her new castle that has more rooms than she knows what to do with. Yet things don’t go quite the way she planned, and now she has to dictate an apology letter regarding what happened.
This was funny. Basically an excuse for several “recollect after the mishap” anecdotes that seem more absurd as a result, it also fits in some nerdy humour of the variety Twilight would dig, were she viewing it from the outside. Much of it being maths-based. And the odd horse pun, because life is never complete without those. Frankly, I didn’t laugh at more than one or two jokes, but nearly all of them do work, which is satisfactory enough.
Two flaws do present themselves, however, which to my mind hold the fic back. This is expanded from a writeoff fic that was 400 words shorter, and to my mind the extra paragraphs and lines are weaker than the original material – the one exception being a proper explanation for why so many ponies came, which is much appreciated, though it does have to share space with a more-weird-than-funny connecting point between much of the Mane 6. Even with these additions, the fic couldn’t dig up enough to pass the 1K Fimfiction publication threshold, and thus Georg also attached an addendum, which delivers one killer joke but labours unnecessarily to get to it (the fic goes 80 words over, belabouring the point actually wasn’t necessary). I have no experience with writeoff entries or expanding them. But even just reading the Fimfiction expansion, before I checked the original version, I did feel parts were uneven. I suspect I’m being somewhat anal there.
That’s a minor quibble compared to the bigger issue, though, which is that the fic would honestly make far more sense, and allow for even funnier imagery, were it little snippets to individual relatives, rather than a one-size-fits all letter to everypony spilling the whole shebang. Twilight is Twilight, this doesn’t feel like her.
Still, it’s a pleasant and amusing little diversion, and takes only a few minutes to read. Though I suspect others may not share my opinion on the above flaws, and thus dig it more.
Rating: Decent
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 1
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 1
Decent: 1
Passable: 1
Weak: 1
Bad: 0
Thanks for the review! The Proprietor approves
I’m still proud of that pun
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And said approval is appreciated!
As is your being proud of that pun.
Just remember, now that Logan's pimped you and the gang's all here: if you ever write a less-than-stellar review, it means that you let everyone down and we will all be so, so disappointed in you
On a more serious note...
Re: Cup of Tea: As I remember, during the RCL discussion on this story, I initially complained that the story didn't really connect Twilight's science-experiment approach to her search for emotional meaning, but one of the other curators made basically the same point you did: that her trying to "recapture something through scientific measures that cannot be recreated that way" is the whole point, and that that gap itself is what's telling. And, with the benefit of that second opinion, I found(/find) that I agree. It's a great story, and one that knows just what it is and should be.
Re: Reunion: One of the reasons I'm a fan of FiMFic authors having a short-short/minific/flashfic compilation is so that they don't try to drag sub-1000-word stories out to the 1k mark just to make them publishable. Now, there are plenty of stories from those minific writeoffs that were too compressed at 750 words or less, and actually benefited from a bit of breathing room, but I find that I agree that Reunion wasn't one of them. It's still funny enough in its FiMFic form, but it loses some of the punchiness that made it shine at *checks notes* 688 words.
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On my more serious note, I welcome being told they're lacking, should that ever happen (hopefully they aren't already!
)
When I'm reviewing a RCL-story, I do look at the article on it, to see what was said there – but only after have written my own review, so I'm not influenced. In this case, I was amused to see the similarities in the points. But it is an excellent little fic. Frankly, I find spotting layers like that quite hard, so I'm surprised I managed that here.
And hey, someone not spotting a certain angle others do doesn't mean their take is less right, necessarily. As you well know.
Amen to that. I do understand why many authors prefer to not do that, such compilations tend to get passed over by lots of viewers, and thus a standalone will invariably get more attention. And absolutely, many fics need the extra breathing room. But others dilute from the process, given fics that short are often designed around being little snippets. All about what's right for the story, eh? Given my "Best" (
) pre-Pony fanfiction was in what is in essence a writeoff content (a Powerpuff Girls Drabble contest held monthly for two years back in 2011-2013), I've experienced it both ways, having stories suited to the short length and those too compressed for it. So I sympathise with the dilemma!
I don't know what prompted me to check out the original writeoff version of Reunion, except maybe it felt a little off. Might have been just a whim, I'd never bothered to do that with any prior writeoff fic I've read. But it was illuminating. Something I'll bear in mind for future writeoff-based fics for sure.
Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea is an amazing fic. I'm so glad you enjoyed it as much as I did way back when.
The Incognito Cart is on my RiL list, so I kind of skimmed your review, but the Really Good at the end was very encouraging. I might bump it up a few places in the queue.
The other one I've read, that I can remember at least, is Would Bang, which I liked (especially Celestia) but didn't quite love. Aragon told me that his "Making Of" blogpost was actually more popular than the story itself, and it's definitely great fun.
Man, GoH only ever wrote four stories? That seems wrong somehow. c.c
Dear Reviewer,
I thought I burned all of those copies.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle.
(Oh, and thanks!)
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A repeat of the Roll for Initiative recommendation situation boosting it up your RiL queue, my friend. And one I hope to continue to provide in the months to come! I wouldn’t be surprised if this fic only made a high ★★★ for you, I’ve a feel for your preferences after all this time. But still glad to hear it got the queue boost! It’s my first review here of a fic straight off the Featured Box, so I knew most wouldn’t have read it yet.
Yeah I read that and got a good kick out of it. Just didn’t quite have anywhere in the review to incorporate it (plus, this was the 3rd or so review I wrote, still working out the kinks at the time, I just held it back from the first week). Though I’m sure it’s not more popular overall now with the fic’s 6.5K views, but I concede the point.
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Twilight, sweetheart, your past always has the ability to come back and haunt you.
Sincerely,
Ghost Mike
(No problem, glad to review and share!)
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I can scarcely believe it after confirming the fact myself. And not just four stories, but a “mere” 59,596 words (and that’s with contents and author’s notes chapters). Now I’m reminded of that Frasier episode where Frasier and Niles find an author who wrote just one masterpiece, and nothing else, but is friends with their father, and they keep missing the chance to cross paths and talk about his work.
I will definitely get around to reading the rest of GoH’s library sooner rather than later, though I’ll have to think about how to handle that short story collection (I don’t think your minific-themed week approach will quite work for me). Probably do the other two first.
Oh hey! I forgot to comment here, even though I saw the review as soon as it went up.
Thanks for the highlight and the thoughts on the story! Truth be told, it's a bit of an old one, and reading it -- and checking the blog that came with it -- I do feel a bit embarrassed; the way I write has matured quite a lot. Still, can't say I'm not fond of it even nowadays. Principal Celestia was indeed the best thing out of that fic, on re-read.
So, thanks for the kind words! And asl always, Ghost of Heraclitus knocks it out of the part. Man's incredibly good; the more people are out there singing his praises, the more just this world will be.
Hope this reviewing thing continues, and good luck with it!
The irony is that GhostOfHeraclitus chose literally every word carefully for every story he's ever written, except this one. Normally he has to have a Silmarillion-sized backstory in his head before writing a short story. But this one just came out of him, like
an effortless bowel movementa gift from the gods. He did very little revision.(The older I get, the more an effortless bowel movement seems like a gift from the gods.)
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Sadly, this is (from what he's told me) largely a result of his first stories having been received so well. I mean, he's written only 3 stand-alone stories (Whom the Princesses Would Destroy, Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea, A Canterlot Carol), and they're all classics. TWO of them are in the RCL. He's the only author with 2 stories in the RCL. And while he was writing here he had severe confidence issues. So he was afraid of posting something and it being received as just "very good", of regressing to the mean. And I don't even blame him, because if that had happened, he'd probably have interpreted it as proving that people had finally caught on that he was a talentless hack who never deserved their praise in the first place.
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damn :/