Crotch sniffing has become a problem in Ponyville lately, with the arrival of Equestria's only human, such a problem that mares charged with it are sentenced to Crotch Sniffers Anonymous in the hopes they may change. Rarity, there for her first offense, meets a Ms. Mare.

This story is written for the crotch sniffing thread in /mlp/.

The year is 1019, and the scars of the Great War are finally starting to fade from Equus. Queen Chrysalis of the Changeling Hegemony was defeated by a last, desperate alliance of free creatures from across the continent. The All-Ponies Front pushed into the heart of her empire in Vesalipolis after years of daring tank maneuvers beyond muddy trenches while planes dueled above. The Stalliongrad Soviet fought beside the Principality of Equestria it once shunned. The Crystal Empire modernized and stood with the Yaks across the northern mountains. The penguins and bears of the north resisted in the bitter cold. The deer of Olenia rose up under their rightful queen. The Republic of Nova Griffonia mostly made money selling guns to all the little ponies.

The war, and what came afterward, was a time of great upheaval and change. Princess Celestia and Luna abdicated their titles to Twilight Sparkle; the Princess of Friendship rules beside Prime Minister Sunset Shimmer and the Council of Friendship. The Crystal Empire, being a time displaced feudal state, did not change that much. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Shining Armor rule as a universally beloved sovereign and a war hero. As the world changes around it, the eternal Crystal City stands still.

Princess Flurry Heart, currently going through "a phase," would like to change this.

By summoning the Ghost of Communism Past as her new political science tutor while her mother is away.

It is up to Shining Armor to avert the dictatorship of the poneletariat and the downfall of the bourneighsie.

May Harmony help them all.

As far as Flurry is concerned, she's a perfectly normal filly with a pretty ordinary life. Sure, her house is somewhat larger than average and maybe there's the whole 'horn and wings' thing. But she goes to school with everypony else, her parents both do mostly-boring work for the local government and just like nearly every other firstborn, her father obsessively recorded her foalhood.

The photo albums are bad enough.

The crystal showcase galleries may have gone a little too far.

Absolutely not an entry for the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition, but was inspired by its existence.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Covers removed from his bed. A warm spot on the mattress right next to him. Strange voices and shadowy figures haunting his sleepy, delirious mind. These are but a few of the odd occurrences that have been plaguing the Anon household.

Tonight, he's going to get to the bottom of it all.

This story is a sequel to I'm Gonna Put Some Cake In Your Eye

Kisses. They're basically Pinkie Pie's favorite thing, right behind parties and baking and her friends and her family and Gummy and...

Well, she really likes kisses. Specifically, giving kisses. And now that she's married, she can do that as much as she wants!

Get used to it.

Milky Way is well-known throughout Ponyville. Unfortunately, it's for all the wrong reasons. She just wanted someone, anyone, to look past her appearance for a change, darn it! Luckily for her, she's found just the person.

Anon, Equestria's only human, is also used to being judged like that. It shouldn't have been a surprise, then, that he felt a kinship with the awkward mare. Their subsequent relationship did little to quell the insults being thrown their way.

Neither of them really care anymore.

Warning: This story contains discussions (but no depictions) of exactly what you think it does.

Art by Jargon Scott.

Kenneth, Equestria's top human detective (by default, being the only one) is given a case by Princess Celestia.

He proceeds to attack this case with all of his skill and wit. Which is to say, badly.

There are six pony virtues. Six. And fortunately for the pickup artists, confidence stallions, and desperate of the world, there's also a lot of sapients who can't count that high. Princess Luna's Return produced a few side effects, and one of the more consistently annoying is a never-ending parade of those who claim to be the hitherto-unknown virtue of This Is Worth Some Free Drinks. Others take it further.

Division Seven is an international, multispecies effort, created in an attempt to find and discipline those charlatans. And ideally, to do so before something... happens.

The planet has strange ways of reacting to the presence of true Bearers.

Imagine how it might deal with some of the fakes...

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art created by RamblingWriter.

Hearth's Warming songs. Aren't they just the most annoying things ever? Sure, some of them may sound good the first time around, but see if anything still holds up after the hundredth repetition. The gramophone stand sure won't, especially once somepony lands the well-earned kick. And yes, this latest specimen is a fairly new composition, but Twilight already hates Hearth's Warming Wham! on a level usually reserved for falsified scientific proofs. Since nopony is going to be playing anything except holiday songs for the next moon...

And yet Twilight is convinced that it's possible for her to reach the holiday itself without ever having to hear that 'song' again. She's willing to make a wager on that.

She's wrong, of course. That's the fun part.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

After attempting to impress the judges during her entrance exam for Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, something transpires that alters Twilight's life irrevocably, as well as the destiny of all Equestria. In a very literal manner, Twilight metamorphoses into the embodiment of magic, much akin to how Discord embodies chaos. How will this unprecedented transformation shape forthcoming events? And how will Twilight grapple with mastering the newfound god-like abilities that have been unexpectedly thrust upon her?