• Member Since 10th Aug, 2014

sincromx


Life is like a spitroast chicken

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Anonymous, asshole extraordinaire and a rotten egg by all accounts, has fallen on good times after being made a commander of the Storm King's vast armies. With the King's forces and equipment at his fingers, he's found great success conquering nations, sowing chaos, and kicking the asses of all walks of life. All while having a rip-roaring great time doing it.
But the day of the Storm King's biggest conquest to date - the nation of Equestria - looms just around the corner. All that's left now is the final few preparations for the invasion: loose ends to tie up, new weapons to seize, and even some co-commanders to annoy to no end. And once those are complete, Anon will be the first in line to take Equestria as his next conquest.
God help us all.


This isn't the first horse story I've written, but it is the first one that is prose instead of greentext. And I'm still a bit rusty on top of all that. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!

Chapters (12)
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Jack came to Equestria.

Unfortunately for Jack he came to Equestria tens of thousands of feet above the ground.

Jack very promptly died in Equestria.

This is how falling works.

Chapters (17)
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3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

Chapters (19)
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After several jumps go wrong, Anon lands himself, er, herself into another land of colorful equines. This time stuck for an entire year before being able to continue on her quest of returning home.

Question remains, will Anon want to?


Proofread and edited by PseudoBob Delightus and Discombobulated Soul

Starts shortly before season one. More character tags will be added as they become relevant.
Includes a grumpy former human.
Dark tag for flashbacks.
Violence tag for flashbacks, mentions of past violence and the second chapter and tenth chapter
Will there be cake?
Maybe?
Maybe includes cake.

Chapters (24)
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You really do need to keep an eye on Cozy Glow. Turn your back for a second and she's off, away and escaping. Over the hills! Out to the sticks! Out to villages that might maybe possibly have not heard about what she did, or at least not yet.

There to plot, there to plan, there to get started on getting everything running smoothly and like it should again. Or at least get started on cooking up some revenge. Either way.

And there's also that weird alien thing she came across. He could be useful...

Chapters (11)
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Queen Chrysalis sees an opportunity to break up the Elements of Harmony before they spoil another one of her brilliant plans to rule all of Equestria. Since all of them are unmarried mares, all she needs to do is get them fighting over a stallion. And if one stallion isn't enough, she sends one male changeling for each of them, plus a spare.

Too bad she didn't think this one through first.

Editors: Tek, Peter

Vector credits: Wiki, Bocchinocullen (sign), Ackdari (changeling)

Chapters (1)
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When the Royal Wedding scatters defeated changelings all over Equestria, a member of the hive winds up being captured in Ponyville, tied up, stunned, repeatedly shot by a cannon, and held against his will.

The truly frightening part is he’s starting to like it.

Thank you to my twisted editors: Tek, Seether00, GameKnut, Cerulean Blue and Peter
The picture Pinkie Pie uses Party Canon is from Atmospark at DeviantArt

This story is listed as comedy⁽*⁾ because the author has an odd sense of humor. No changelings were harmed⁽¹⁾ during the production of this story, despite what the newspapers printed or the ongoing lawsuit from the ESPCA⁽²⁾. The management would like to remind all readers to spay and neuter your pets. Unless your pet is a changeling, in which case…


(*) Dark humor, to be exact. If you are someone who finds pleasure in the misfortune of others, enjoys watching the occasional inept chainsaw juggler or cheers during a NASCAR crash, welcome home. Also, get help.

(1) Excluding blunt trauma, thermal impingement, chemical exposure, radiation, thaumaturgic infusions, and confetti ingestion. All characters represented, including changelings, are the exclusive property of Hasbro, no matter what they may shout at you from between the bars of their cell. Any violence or pain inflicted on the changeling in this story was simulated on a stunt changeling with special effects and mirrors. Except for the cannon. There is no truth to the rumor that Queen Chrysalis provided the stunt changelings from a supply of disobedient changelings in her dungeon⁽³⁾.

(2) Equestrian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Arthropods

(3) The Changeling Kingdom does not have dungeons. They have Call Centers. It explains a lot, actually.


Here is a link to some appropriate background music to listen to while reading: Piotr Tchaikovneigh’s 1812 Overture

Additional Note: This story is tagged Sex because it has the occasional reference to… well, sex. There are no explicit references, but there are things.

Chapters (21)
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After 989 years on the moon, Nightmare Moon is eagerly awaiting her return to Equestria, take down her sister, and claim what should rightfully be hers.

However, one can only brood and plan for so long before things grow... stagnant.

And then, something catches her eye, coming towards her moon's surface at an alarming speed. Maybe this, whatever it is, will prove to aid her in her plans.

[Sex] tag for implications, nothing explicit (obviously it's rated T guys yeesh).

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Story was written for Jinglemas 2021 as a gift for PeerImagination. They wanted a Nightmare Moon and Human romance, and I hope I did good by ya! Apologies for the story length, but it got waaaay out of hand on me and I have a disease where if I'm writing something I'm liking then I tend to do more than I should.

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Cover art by Aquaticvibes, used without permission so if there are any issues feel free to yell at me.

Pre-read and edited by the wonderful Pascoite who helped a ton with the olden speech, and Fregz for putting up with the initial storyboarding that went out of control.

Top of the Box of Shame (M on) 12/26/2021, 12/27/2021 (Oh no not this shit again), 12/28/2021 (The third day), 12/29/2021 (YOU'RE KILLING ME, SMALLS!)

Chapters (1)
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While providing support for the Elements of Harmony as they go up against a magical anomaly, Midnight Blossom and her team of thestrals find a strange stallion in the forest. His loud and proud ways are antithetical to their stealth mission, no matter how insistent he is that he knows the world-ending, all-powerful wizard they're hunting on a personal level.


This story takes place in the RGRE (Reversed Gender Roles Equestria) universe. I originally wrote it in greentext, but altered it to prose for FIMfiction. This version will be updated alongside its greentext counterpart.

Chapters (7)