After years of putting it off and literally running whenever he asked about it, Twilight Sparkle finally decided to tell Spike where foals come from. Luckily for her, it turned out it was no longer necessary.

However, the good news ended there. Once Twilight and Spike were summoned to Canterlot by the Cutie Map, the duo found themselves giving "the talk" to two ponies Twilight thought long had it.

Spike, not understanding the awkwardness of the conversation, was okay with it. Twilight on the other hoof...let's just say she wanted to reevaluate her life once it was all over.

Despite its name, this story is unrelated to my story Rarity Gives "The Talk".

EDIT: featured through 06/13/21-06/15/21!

#1 on the feature list on 06/14/21!

Cheerilee has a difficult job. Ponies often believe that children are perfectly innocent. They are, most of the time, perfectly wrong about this. Small fillies are remarkably inventive, and will often stop at nothing to do exactly the opposite of what parents ask them to do. As a result, Cheerilee has become something of an expert in things that most parents assume are simply not a problem when dealing with schoolchildren.

Today, Cheerilee has just met the first perfectly innocent filly she has ever seen. The thing is, her name is the exact opposite of innocent.

This story contains dirty words, particularly with regard to sexual content of a kind that would get FiMFiction kicked off Patreon. Viewer discretion is advised.

Blame FOME for this.

Everyone knows Rarity has amazing flanks; Rainbow Dash is sure of that. So what is Applejack upset about?

A non-entry to a Quills and Sofas Panic Fiction with the prompt "Do I Know You?"

Cheerilee loves Meadowbrook. Meadowbrook loves Cheerilee. Neither of them knows how to say it, but the bigger problem is that the field of romantics has changed significantly over the course of a thousand years.

Entry for the May Pairings contest. Written with the help of the great and powerful Mushroom, the charming and unyielding themoontonite, the ever-present and encompassing UndomeTinwe, and the all-knowing and faithful Wishcometrue.

Cover art done by the talented and wonderful Skulljooce/Not Quite Equine. Give them some love!

"You, though? A complete and utter mystery to me, even now. Do you know how infuriating it is to have a pony who is a puzzle I cannot solve?"

A story owed to themoontonite for nearly a year. Thank you for being patient with me.

Thanks to Undome Tinwe and The Red Parade for editing.

Cover art by SkullJooce.

When Discord drops by the donut shop one morning, Joe is understandably nervous. When the draconequus keeps coming back, the baker soon realizes his life is better with Discord in it.

Discord comes to the same conclusion.

One of them just needs to admit it to the other.

Thanks to Mykola for the pre-read, Punished Bean for talking through a few sections, and to CrazyDiamond and everyone else for listening to me ramble on about this one.

Art combined by me from two sources.

Featured 5-27-21 to 5-28-21, peaking in the #2 spot. Thanks, everypony!

While at a weekend-long diplomatic summit, Prince Blueblood and Dragon Lord Ember do not hit it off well and both take the encounter personally. So much so, Ember goes well out of her way so to arrange her spending the rest of the weekend at Blueblood's mansion, just so she can spend it driving him up the wall.

Tempers are inflamed, property is damaged, and fires are started.

And yet, somehow, this arrangement might just work out okay after all.

First place winner in the May 2021 Pairing Contest.

Featured 5/27/2021

(Cover art is temporary until I can get the time to make a proper one) Proper one and some additional edits made!

Following the retirement of Celestia and Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle is now the unquestioned and undisputed ruler of all her land – including the transport networks. That means the major rail strike now looming will be all her fault.

This story is a sequel to Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Bootlegs

When Discord hid the elements away from the bearers, he thought he won. There was no other way he could be defeated. That is unless the bearers arrive with massive piles of their elements from different universes, intent on ending his return right then and there.

This is going to take awhile.

This was written for Quills and Sofas Expanded Universe contest. This is a sequel to TheDriderPony Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Bootlegs.

A commission for user Yakopak, wherein Rainbow Dash and the newly displaced resident human share a chill bro moment over some wholesome family-friendly hallucinogenic drugs.

Audiobook by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan can be listened to Here!