After losing out on first chair cellist in the Manehattan Philharmonic Orchestra to her biggest rival, Octavia tries to console herself with a healthy bout of moping and a strong drink. One drink soon becomes several, though, and her evening of debauchery leads to a long night of frenzied, sordid passion with her best friend Vinyl Scratch. It isn't until she wakes up in the morning with Vinyl's legs wrapped around her that Octavia remembers two very important things: one, she's straight. And two, if the infamously strict conductor of the Philharmonic finds out how unrefined Octavia's social life has become, she could lose her one and only chance at the only dream she's ever had in her life.

This could get a little bit complicated.

Cover art by CouchCrusader, who I swear to God is like fatting me up for slaughter or something with all the custom stuff he does for me.

Half-heartedly edited by NTSTS #dunked

You know these stories where somebody suddenly wakes up with a creepy, unknown voice in their head? Well that's what's happening to me, except I'm that strange voice, and I'm not stuck in somebody, I'm stuck in somePONY.
How did I get here? And how will I ever find a way to go back without so much as a body to call my own?

Now with 100% more cover art thanks to the splendiferously awesome Exelzior! Go read his stuff instead of mine! Do it!

Rated teen for foul-mouthed protagonist. Expect bad words.

Josh, Bill and Blue are hard-working Earth Ponies that haul freight around Ponyville. Sometimes, Bill and Blue envy the freedom and power of the Pegasus and Unicorn Ponies. Josh, older, wiser, and a bit of storyteller, tries to comfort his teammates with the "secret truth" about the other types of ponies. And Bill and Blue... well, there's a short distance between between being open-minded and empty-headed.

These were my first two MLP:FIM fan fictions. The first, "The Truth About Pegasus Ponies," is a little rough, but it was one of those stories that just appeared in my head, whole and entire, and demanded to be written.

The second, "The Shadow Over Ponyville," is a bit more polished. Despite the title, it's not really a Lovecraft pastiche, although HPL obviously influenced my description of Blue's reaction to the "blasphemous truth" about Unicorns. ("Kelpies," by the way, are a real thing, or at least real in terms of folklore. Sometimes, this stuff just writes itself.)

When I wrote these stories (during the break between Seasons One and Two), I thought I had cleverly immunized myself against changes to the canon. Josh is, of course, only telling tall tales, so any changes to the canon couldn't affect his stories. Baby Cakes, however, makes these stories a bit implausible. Still, I'm fond of them anyway.

Josh's full name is Joshington Traveller Pie. In my personal canon, he's Pinkie Pie's uncle, the "bad" one that ran away from the rock farm to join the circus. Oddly, I have yet to write a story that includes both Pinkie and Josh. When I write about him, I imagine he sounds like John Goodman.

Edit: If you liked this story, you might also enjoy my story, "The Boneyard," which directly follows the events in "The Shadow Over Ponyville."

You're a random human on Earth trying to get some sleep, but these blasted ponies keep appearing in your room. You don't know where they come from, or how they got here, but they insist on sleeping with you in a non sexual manner.

Have you ever wanted to get cuddled by a pony? How about against your will? No? Yes? Either way you are getting cuddled whether you like it or not.

Warning: Adorable cuddling may or may not be suitable for younger readers.
Warning: I can't select all the ponies, but yes all ponies(and other species) are capable of cuddling you. No you're not safe.

Edited by: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/technicscratch

This here is a short story that came to me as I sat in the shade of a Humvee, eating an MRE. It's a little funny and a little sad, and it is the tale of how a mare named Jade became the afterlife receptionist for Ponyville.

This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night

Lightning Dust has seen better days. She’s on the verge of becoming a full-blown alcoholic, and her career is in shambles. She’s gotten so desperate that she even found a support group to help her work through her problems, but the first meeting turns out to be nothing like what she expected. This isn’t the gathering of former antagonists that she was looking for. In fact, some of these creatures shouldn’t even exist!

Twilight's an Alicorn now.

What have I done?

One day on a trip to the market, Fluttershy discovers that things are getting caught in her tail. What kinds of things? Interesting things. Strange things. Their origins are all questionable at best.

Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/La-cola-de-Fluttershy-1000352121

This story is a sequel to Miller

In the underworld of Equestria, where lowlifes lurk and crime runs rampant, one pony is whispered about with fear and hate. Not many know where he came from or why he (accidentally) left a trail of destruction through the criminal ranks. In fact, Vinyl and Octavia were his only confidants. Now the mysterious visitor is back, and he's, well... not a he anymore.

Edits by Treilacl