The business of government never stops, and paperwork never rests, even on Hearthwarming. But this particular Hearthwarming, Cabinet Secretary and tea enthusiast Dotted Line plans to do his level best to see it, at least, take a break. His ponies need to go home to their families, and he, well, he has plans this Hearthwarming.

Princess Cadance, just like everypony else, needs some time of leisure from her many duties. While Shining Armor is taking care of their daughter, Cadance enjoys her lone trips to the nearby Nephrite Forest, where she can be away from all of her burdens and obligations for at least a short while.

She was simply destined to get mugged eventually, wasn’t she? Why not by somepony who takes his job very seriously.

Also available in Mandarin Chinese (translation by keplebletbett) and Spanish (translation by SPANIARD KIWI).

Shining Armor learns the most important tactical lesson of his life.

Audio version! https://youtu.be/YgDr0Xc6rN8

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

There's a bug under my bed. Or at least I think it's a bug.

It says it needs to stay under there to hide.

I just hope it leaves soon. And doesn't eat me before then.

Artwork by sweetsing.

With how much ponies stumble, fall, crash, take hits, and get things dropped on them, you'd think they would... you know... actually get hurt.

Well it turns out there's a reason for that!

The reason: Ponies are squishy.

Awesome reading done by CaptainBron3y A.K.A TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade. Check him out!

This story is a sequel to Thunderstorm and the Four Winds

Hey Scoots! I want you to meet my gramps!

...

Yeah! He's the one who told me the story of Thunderstorm and the Four Winds. You know the one where I told you?

...

Ow! OW! OW! Stop it Gramps! No! I didn't do the "Voice".

...

Ow! What do you mean I'm not doing it right if I'm not doing the "Voice"? I just told it to her my way.

...

OW! Stop hitting me! Fine! Hey, Scoots! My Gramps wants to tell you the sto-OW! Thunder-OW! The Epic of Thunderstorm and the Four Winds! Sit down! Now stop hitting me Gramps!

Featured 4/23/2017! My First Future! Thanks Carabas for allowing me to pupblish this.

I'd heard about the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic from my college roommate who is way too into the show. Disturbingly so, actually, but good gravy I would never watch the darned thing! What am I, five? I've got better things to do with my time than watch a silly little girl's show. However, that didn't stop... something from transporting me into the world of the show, so here I am... in Equestria... trying to get home. This is gonna be interesting.

Special thanks to GuyFace, Jack Kellar, Storm Shaker, Spiffy McSquee, and Goober Trooper for helping me with this one!

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. Things seem to be falling through the cracks lately. Spike thinks I should go see the doctor, but...

Celestia lays an egg, really, there's nothing more to it.

Okay maybe a love triangle is involved somehow, but that's really it.

The graffiti did not bother her. The art of vandalism was, in some form or another, as old as civilization itself. The content, on the other hoof, was an entirely different issue. “Princest Is Wincest,” it said. Bad grammar and spelling were one thing, but this was an attack on the Equestrian language.

Luna frowned. She would have to ask Celestia about this at the first opportunity. Perhaps there were spare funds for a literacy program. If nothing else, Tia might be able to explain what exactly the phrase meant.

Thanks to Wade and Sereg for prereading. Thanks to Burraku_Pansa and especially Midnight Rambler for editing.

Dramatic reading, courtesy of CaptainBron3y.