It's been a few years since Princess Luna returned, yet Celestia has only just now realized a crucial error: Luna doesn't have a throne! How could she have overlooked her sister like that? Why didn't Luna ask?

Well, Celestia will fix that. When Luna's birthday draws near, Celestia decides it's time to finally give her little sister the gift she should've had waiting all along.

For centuries, ponykind thought Princess Platinum's splendorous silver crown lost for all time, but it has been found. Twilight Sparkle, the self-proclaimed Princess of Thieves, has tracked it down to the long-fallen Diamond Dog kingdom of Erebark, and means to enter the mountain to retrieve her kin's lost heirloom and settle scores with Princess Celestia.

Unfortunately, there are one or two details she didn't realize going into this mess. Namely, that she'll need to steal from the gilded gallery of one of the mightiest dragons ever to walk the land.

Oops.

Preread by RossbyWaves, Cynewulf, Timaeus, Undome Tinwe, Brasta Septim, and Beltorn.
Special thanks to the aforementioned six for enabling and encouraging this story, along with a few other friends in the most exalted and dedicated purple girlfriends chat server.
Artwork brilliantly done by Lilfunkman.

This story is a sequel to Discord Teaches Philosophy

Warning: The following is currently unedited and contains a significant amount of Philosophy.

After deciding on taking up the role of a Substitute and finding out that the main Philosophy teacher is boring his students, Discord decides to step in to take up the responsibility of teaching. And he will do it by teaching it in plain Equestrian, in a way that these young students would understand. As well as in his own unique way.

Lesson Plan (in no particular order):

Socrates: His Method and How We Ought to Live ✅

Plato: Allegory of the Cave ✅

Marcus Aurelius: How Stoicism Deals with Hardships ✅

Confucius: Who is Ruling Whom? ✅

Kintsugi: The Art of Imperfection ✅

Machiavelli: In Defense of the Prince ✅

Montaigne: Usefulness of Humility ✅

Rousseau: Of Savages and Civilization ✅

Kierkegaard: Subjectivity and Truth ✅

Nietzsche: Of Suffering and Happiness ✅

So it's official. In order to better serve his friends, Discord has given up chaos.

Completely.

Now if only the fate of Equestria didn't rest on him using chaos again.

Like in the next five minutes or so.

Looks like it's time for a chaos intervention. A reverse one.

A farmer, a teacher, a student, a family.
One morning, they woke up and realised something was missing.
But what, exactly, has been lost?

Chapter 2 - Deleted Scene
"What Do Ponies Truly Fear?" - Essay

There's a crime wave gripping the sleepy town of Apple-Morepone, and nopony on the City Watch seems to care. Corporal "Rainbow" M. Dash naps through her patrols, her partner Dobby is an infamous kleptomaniac, Captain Rhymes is a drunkard, and the entire Watch is a group of burnt-out misfits.

They're about to meet a batpony (adopted) by the name of Carrot, visiting town to return an overdue library book.

And none of their lives will ever be the same.

A crossover/homage to the "City Watch" books of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, written to be readable without any familiarity with the series (though they're excellent, and if you do read them you'll catch my Pratchett in-jokes).

Winner of Aragon's "Comedy Is Serious Business" Contest! "I was quoting this offline for days, forgetting where I was remembering the lines from. … This story made me legitimately jealous, both of its cleverness and of its funniness." –Contest judge MrNumbers

Rated ★★★★★ by Louder Yay! "The best comedy I've read in a long time."

"Highly Recommended" by Super Trampoline! (Video review here @ 09:17) "It's 13,000 words long, but it doesn't feel long, because so much fun stuff is happening."

Reviewed by Ghost Mike! "It features meticulously laboured-over prose, rhyming with actual metre for Zecora, perfectly-timed jokes and reveals that are often outrageous, a sneakily clever plot and character investment that works its magic throughout ... This is a phenomenally executed piece of work."

Other reviews: Present Perfect | City of Doors

Thank you to Themaskedferret and Caliaponia for prereading, and GaPJaxie for motivation/inspiration!

Necromancers. Sickly ponies bathed in cloaks of darkness, bringing ruin to all who fall under their shadow, terror to those who meet their gaze. Ripping the dead from the grave and conscripting them to their army of evil and conquest. Woe to the towns that dare draw their interest.

Such are the legends.

This is a story about one of the kindest ponies I know.

---

Now on Equestria Daily!

Now with a sequel, From Dusk to Night.

Beta Reader Special Thanks:

Blissey1
Clever Pun
Japanese Teeth
Pannic
Meta Four
Sereg
Connelly
Invidlord
Jezendar
TerribleTransit

Princess Luna's Lunar Stallions kidnap Twilight Sparkle when they see how lonely Luna is, and give her to the Princess as a gift. Nightmare Moon emerges from Princess Luna's psyche during the sleepover. The dark goddess would love nothing more than to have the beautiful mare all to herself, and the resulting chaos forces Celestia to call a psychologist to sort out Luna's multiple personalities.

After a long stretch of boredom where nothing goes wrong, things finally explode and Twilight decides it is the perfect day for science. Today, she will make many discoveries, the least of which is that everypony around her is a pervert.

An entry in the Weedverse.

Moon Dancer has been awarded a prestigious grant to study the Everfree Forest and its history, and so she's moving to Ponyville. In the midst of settling in and making new friends, she meets and becomes completely enchanted by a shy, animal-loving pegasus.

But as these two nervous little weirdos start an adorable, awkward relationship, it becomes clear that not everyone is happy about this turn of events.

Now with a sequel!

...And another sequel!