Celestia suddenly finds herself with a craving. Not for power, not for domination, but for chicken.

And no, she doesn't want to surround herself with the squawking imbeciles.

SHE WANTS TO C̷̥̝̲̭̼̫̭̽̉O̶͎̬̬̽̈ͯ̚N̺̹ͬ́͝S̘̖͖̩̯̳̤̐͑͛̋̊͒U̧̙̝͖̥͇̲̩̦͋́̔ͮ̃ͪ̎̋ͦ͢Ṃ̠͚͍ͬ̓͑̉̅͂̀̚͡͞E̓̇̊ͮ̽ͨ̚͝͏̙͓̯̳.̡ͦ͏͙ THEM.

Unfortunately, this goal turns out to be harder to obtain than she expected.

Obvious trollfic is obvious.

Pinkie Pie lights a candle, and nothing of particular note happens.

Oh, except the world ending.

Thanks to AppleTank and billymorph for editing and pre-reading.

Sky Stinger thinks that the Holy Grail is hidden down his toilet. He must get it out to win Vapor Trail's love!

In the stars, a hundred years' journey away, the alicorns gather, to mourn, to mate, and to give birth to the new. They call to their sisters across the galaxies, and Celestia hears them.

Meanwhile, Dotted Line wants her to review tax rebate applications.

(2nd place out of 113 in the "No Regrets" write-off. Dotted Line is from "Whom the Princesses Would Destroy" by GhostOfHeraclitus. Picture by Earthsong9405 & AquaGalaxy, found by Georg. Reading by Super Trampoline. Russian translation by Doof Ex Machina.)

Oh no! The fabric is here and it is also angry! Join Swooty Bell on her amazing adventure through space! Be awed by her epic battle with Fabric! Be amazed at her ultimate confrontation with the true villain!

(First chapter was written for, and won first place in the Trotcon 2014 speedfic contest)

(Please note that spelling and grammar errors are intentional, for this is the world of SWOOTY BELL!)

Chpt 1) Pinkie and her friends celebrate a new holiday along with the citizens of Ponyville.
Chpt 2) A dark day for Equestria. Who is the new enemy and what do they want?
Chpt 3) Celestia deals with an Arrogant Worm of a pirate
Chpt 4) Applejack, linguist extraordinaire
Chpt 5) Twilight deals with a rumor in a very Twilight way (no, not with sparkly vampires)

The Canterlot Archive decides to create a document listing the age of every pony in Equestria. It's impossible to mess this up.

The Canterlot Archive messes this up.

Proofread by Octavia Harmony.

Special thanks to Selbi for additional help.

Live reading by CaptainBron3y

During a lull in the conversation at an upper class charity dinner, Rarity takes a moment to contemplate some commonly held assumptions made of Princess Celestia. Specifically, her table manners.

In the wake of Pinkie Pie's fabulous party, Princess Celestia lets Twilight in on an imperative secret about yaks.

They're jerks.

No one expects to go to sleep and never wake up. There's always tomorrow, or the next day. There was always time. So, when a young life is extinguished before its time, it becomes especially difficult to handle. When the spirit of that life is forced to face and accept her death, what will become of her afterlife? Scootaloo will soon be faced with this tragedy, and this is her story.