Can someone take a look at This story? I've gotten very few comment's on it and while I'm very happy with it my self, I'd like someone else to look at it!

If you review it, I can review one of your stories in return!
OBS! I DON'T review mature!

3613378 I suppose I can review it. Got a few others to look at so it may be a bit.

3613948
That's fine. Any link for some story you want me to review?

3614050 How about this one. I could use a review to know how well it really did.

3614219
I'll look at it as soon as I can!

3613378
Well first thing I noticed is that the description of the story itself has grammar issues, along within the story itself. There issues of tense usage, and what in the world is a Windy Lakes accent? Also please do not include Applejacks accent in her speech, we know we she sounds like and don't need to literally read mah or ah. This story seems a little confusing to me, Applejack is going to tell her mom about dating Rainbow Dash but then is upset someone else is going to spill the beans? I'm not sure where this story is going currently as there doesn't seem to be much direction to it. Whoa wait whoa what is this sentence? "The moon was reflectd in Rainbows big eyes as they softly rubbed their mules together. " Aside from the misspelling of reflected they're rubbing their mules together? Wat even.

Overall this story was a bit odd and didn't have much to follow. I wasn't sure where it was going or what the plot was really other than that apparently the grannies had relationships together and that seemed to be it. So if you're wondering why it hasn't gotten much attention these things are probably the reason why. So hopefully this has been helpful to you.

3621054
For the accent, it was my prereader who thought I should have it, and that weird sentence was thing from my editor who wanted cuteness in it. I'm well aware of my grammar issus, seeing as I haven't finished school, and English is not my native language. I'm not surprised that it haven't gotten much attention, but I still wanted to know what people think of it. As for the plot, well, let just say that once I finished this story, I was sitting there in my chair and was all like "What the heck just happened!?"