Story: Elements of Honor

I'd like for someone to provide an in-depth review of my best story (so far). I'm just looking for honest criticism. You can judge it based on its storytelling complexity, characters, setting, mechanics, general plot, pacing, and the last four chapters. Yes, the last four chapters are the most significant to me.

This story is a crossover, though, but I've gone out of my way to make it understandable for everyone. Treat it like an original work if you want.

Thank you very much!

http://www.fimfiction.net/group/204860/helping-hooves/thread/198001
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/204860/helping-hooves/thread/198002

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Ah, sorry about that. It was an accident.