http://www.fimfiction.net/story/267666/the-time-when-gray-became-the-eighth-color

This story turned out to be one of my worst ones ever yet, but I'm not really sure how to explain what went wrong with it. I just know that the plot was awkward and off, moments are too sudden (the part when Rainbow Dash took out Darvon pill in the story for example). Character interaction was weird (maybe)? Rainbow's story of killing Applejack and Pinkie Pie in a wild accident, and that somehow just made her feel depressed, it's pretty rushed.

I tried to get help from other editing and proofreading groups before, but no help actually came, no comments on my story as a review. I abandoned fixing this story until today, because I can trust people to actually read my story for once.