I need help with a description for an oncoming short slice of life comedy story I plan on doing.
Here's what I was thinking:

"How did we end up here? First minute I'm attending high school for the first time, the next minute I'm living with magical talking equine with a cowboy hat. It's kind of a long and confusing story. You've been warned! By they way, my name is Tim."

"So this whole inter-dimensional war started because we managed to locate a otherworldly portal that was actually a magical mirror and it lead us to this world where humans didn't exist and that talking ponies were the main inhabitants. Being the reasonable species that we are, we demanded that the humans would stay in that realm for research purposes...i don't know, I kind of zoned out at that part. Next thing we knew we started this whole war between the humans and the ponies and there was a lot of bullets and magical lasers being fired here and there. Then the Princess had a huge battle with our generals and then something weird happened. A bomb was set to go off, but before the Princess could stop it, it......it went off. But her magical beams managed to get caught in the explosion and it spread. What happens next, our realms merged into one. Our world was combined with there's and our citizens, pony and human, were scattered everywhere. Not wanting to cause any more destruction, we FINALLY made a peace treaty and now ponies and humans coexist in the same realm."

"Where do I fit in this? Like I said before, me and my best friend, Damon, are starting highschool for the first time, and so far homework seems like the least of our worries. Remember when I said that some of the pony and human citizens were scattered everywhere, well some of the lost ponies that were found were signed up to stay with a temporary host family until they find their real home, and vice versa. And, wouldn't you know it, me and Damon were some of the lucky bastards to take some in new guests. Now I've got some farm pony named Applejack living with my and family in our home while Damon's got some fashion diva pony named Rarity staying with him. You think that's something? Try walking around with your new pony guest in public where there are prejudice jerks giving them stink eye or weird creepers who would actually kill to have a talking pony live with them. So there you have it, because of a war I now have to watch over a single pony and help her find her real home when I can't even find my homeroom class........Yeah."

What do you think?

4714078 I think it's too long for a description. You don't need to give the backstory with so much detail (unless the backstory isn't mentioned in the actual story, but even then I think it should be shorter). You should try to condense the whole thing a bit, and avoid repeating yourself (with the "Like I said before"). As it is, it feels more like a prologue than a description. (Just my opinion.)

4715982 Ok, so I should go for something like this:

"Where do I begin with this story? A huge war happened and the world of Equestria and our world was combined. Ponies and humans were scattered everywhere. Not wanting to cause any more destruction, we FINALLY made a peace treaty and now ponies and humans coexist in the same realm. Where do I fit in this? Well, me and my best friend Damon start highschool soon and, wouldn't ya know it, we've got some new guests in our home. Now I've got some farm pony named Applejack living with my and family in our home while Damon's got some fashion diva pony named Rarity staying with him. You think that's something? Try walking around with your new pony guest in public where there are prejudice jerks giving them stink eye or weird creepers giving them rape faces. So there you have it, because of a war I now have to watch over a single pony and try to survive my new highschool life.........Yeah."

Still too long?

4716781 That's better. I just think there are two mistakes, "was combined" instead of "were", and "living with my and family". The rest is fine, though unless the story is rated Mature, you may want to avoid the word "rape".

4718284 Alright, thanks for the help. Hopefully this future fic will turn out well.