Hello i'm new to fim and fanfiction i have disablites that make it ard for me to type correctly, i was wondering if someone could peer review my story "Salvation in Ponyville" and let me know what exactly made fimfanfiction.com admins reject my story

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^ Just in case you missed the posting rules, when writing your new story. They're on the 'New Story' page.

I imagine people usually mess up by either not including ponies by the time they public (Like chapter 1 in an HiE all taking place on Earth) or trying to publish something under a thousand words. Is that the case with you?

If not, PM me a link. If it isn't long, I can take a peek to see what might have gone wrong. But didn't they tell you in a PM or something why it got rejected?

In the future, if your hands fail you, but your speech is fine, dictation software is getting pretty damn good these days. You'd still have to handle punctuation and stuff, and correct things, I wager, but it might be a lot easier than churning out bulk text.

thanks for the assistance ive always wanted to right but havent had the ability, I'm open to critisism so long as its nice

my story: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/294473/salvation-in-ponyville

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Ahh, should probably have mentioned it was cloppy.

I'm at work right now.
I'll glance at it even so.

Two seconds of peeking would lead me to believe it was failed for one of these two reasons:

-Stories written in chat or script format. This includes stories in which dialogue is indicated like this: “TWILIGHT: I sure do love books!”
-Stories with barely any punctuation/proper spelling. We don’t judge stories on their content, but stories without a basic level of grammar will be failed.

The latter is most likely.

Punctuation is very, very spotty. It's frequently missing in places, and frequently wrong in other places. Same with capitalization. You clearly ignored the little red squiggles on any spellcheck you used, too.

The reason I think it might trip the script thing is that it's primarily dialogue, with very little narrative text.

Um, quick review-wise, it needs work. It would be rather critically panned by your peers, in its current state. Even putting aside the fact that, mechanically speaking, it's bordering on minimally readable, the plot is terribly run-of-the-mill by now. Human gets snatched by random magic. Human appears in Everfree. Human gets attacked by timberwolves/manticore/cockatrice. Instant Mane 6 fawning. And it has essentially no descriptive text or narrative colour at all.

And why is he totally blase about losing an arm? Who would be okay with that? And how, exactly, does he know that ponies can just magic up a functional new arm for him? He's been conscious in Ponyville for, what, a few minutes?

...And why do they question his genitalia? I mean... unless it was injured, it looks like a perfectly functional bit of anatomy. It's more or less the same colour, made of skin, contains organs. Obviously its of some purpose. Even assuming ponies, griffons, Spike, minotaurs, etc don't have penises in Equestria, it probably looks like it fits. Also, since this is likely to be clop, eventually, does that mean that ponies don't have vaginas either? I am rather tickled by this development, if so. Hilarious sexual hijinx to come.

Human: "W-where does it go?"
Fluttershy: "What do you mean? We just stare into one another's eyes lovingly for a while, and the stork knows to bring the foal!"

Also, on a random note... unless your reproductive anatomy looks rather different than most, a guys 'balls' are pretty much one external sack. Not two.

Thank yo for the constructive critisim, I'm using an app on my slider tablet called Polaris office but the plot of the story was on purpose cause its generic and run of mill so its a good test bed since this is my first time writting i completely suck at it, i just wanted to write a story. and the reason he is so stoic about his arm is cause when humans are around freinds and peers some tend to act tough as to project this impressive person, I had planned to do more backstory in the later chapters. but for right now i wanted to get everything set up. as for the genatle thing with twilight i tried my best to try and do a little comedy thing with it. but the reason its so dialog heavy is cause descriptive writting is hard for me

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Random forum tip:
See the little >> icon on message boxes, when you hover over one? It's for replies. Click that and it'll auto-populate a code into your reply box, that'll make it so the person you're talking to gets a notification, and they know to respond.

It's not a totally terrible thing to not try to bite off more than you can chew with your first story. But what you should do is to try your best. You're not going to get much in the way of real feedback or happy-fun accolades if all everyone is doing is turning away at the first sign of your story, or griping about the mechanical problems you couldn't be bothered to fix.

Writing to maximize cliches is never really a virtue. Not unless you're writing a parody. It's not always a vice, either. But you sure won't get your head above the crowd by doing it.

and the reason he is so stoic about his arm is cause when humans are around freinds and peers some tend to act tough as to project this impressive person,

Then make it clear that he's doing that. It does us absolutely no good if you know something, but we don't. An established, clearly well-practiced author can get away with a measure of implication, because there's trust earned that the writer knows what he's doing, and people will assume it's purposeful. But nobody is going to give that much leeway to a first-time HiE writer.

And he's not around friends and peers. He's around aliens he just met, after being viciously attacked by other aliens. And who slapped a collar on him and are super-interested in his penis.

but the reason its so dialog heavy is cause descriptive writting is hard for me

All the more reason to try to do it as much as possible. We all have weaknesses. But they don't get better by ignoring them. I suck hard at brevity. But I do still go through my work and try to cut out anything toooo verbose. S'how you grow.

ok the description bout my storry the whole alien the penis part was funny,`to be honest I'm half way through chapter 2 as we talk an i'm considering scraping it. i dont wanna post a story that only entertains granted it ha depressed me greatlly cause I put hours of thought into the plot. i don;t think i'm cut out for writting profesuionally on a high class proesional site like this

plus 100% of thee uthors on here are more skilled then i will ever be

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4781389 oh ok like this

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It's not a 'high class, professional site'.
But it's a site for writers, amateur writers though we may all be. And for readers.

Writers know how much work it takes to write. And readers know what entertains and they can read. And that creates expectations.

Yes, it can be daunting. But that's really the cost of doing business with any artwork, no?

Spending many hours on thinking up the plot is super-great. You should do that. But spend at least that much effort actually realizing the plot you spent so long pondering. Sometimes that'll mean you have to rewrite, and revise, and proof your work. Actually, it'll usually mean that. I'm not a big proponent of having to slit your wrists and bleed for your art, but you do have to work for it. And it's hard. In reward you get delicious praise and the super-happy feeling of being awesome.

plus 100% of thee uthors on here are more skilled then i will ever be

Every one of us starts at the bottom. Writing is not a skill granted by divine favor. There isn't a person on this site who felt the touch of a writing goddess on their brow, bestowing them with the ability to make grown men cry with but a stroke of the pen. You practice. You get smacked around, occasionally, by critics. Or ignored. You learn. You do better and get smacked around less, and patted on the head more. You gain followers. And people waiting with bated breath for your next chapter.

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Yush! Like that!