Hi, I'm looking to maybe start writing a fic, but I'm planning on having physical combat in said fic. The problem is I have no idea how to write han- erm, hoof to hoof combat that isn't unicorns flinging spells at each other. Does anyone have any recommendations where good, (maybe) tense and impactful fighting happens? I'd like to study those stories, specifically ones where it's different kinds of ponies fighting each other. In my story have specifically a series of fights vs a unicorn where each kind of pony goes in order, but I'd like to read other stuff too, earth pony vs earth pony or vs pegasus could help.

7833059
I expect there are plenty of stories where this has been done. You would be well served to read a few, or at least skim them and then read the fights to see how they do it. That can get you pointed in the right direction.

Try at least three different authors so you get a broader perspective.

And… below are two excerpts from limited/no weapons fights that I have written. I hope it helps.

…

Pegasus: Eos Typhoon

A sinking feeling in the mare’s stomach told her that the two needed to leave. No sooner had that thought crossed her mind that everything went white as a sharp pain cracked through the side of her head. Eos Typhoon was driven down to her knees, though she hardly felt it. Muffled sounds of a struggle played in her ears, but she was too dazed to react.

As her sight came back, a small circle that widened in the whiteness, Clipper bucked a large white ape over the side of the airship, just to be immediately harassed by another. As feeling returned, Eos discovered that she was being dragged away from him.

Move!

She needed to move. Eos shook, a feeble attempt to free herself. For her trouble, she felt her head snatched up by her mane and something sharp pressed into her throat. Clipper was still busy, but managed to glance her way as her assailant spoke.

“Stop, or I slice her!”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Clipper spun and vaulted right at Eos. She flinched as the knife pressed tight before falling away. Clipper’s hooves caught the ape that was holding her directly in the face. She was then lifted, struggling to move as Clipper shouted.

“We have to go!”

They made for the edge, surrounded and being hit, just trying to force their way through. They were being smothered under a rain of fists that pummeled them toward the deck.

The next thing she knew, Eos Typhoon felt the rush of wind on her face as she tumbled through the air, falling freely. It took a moment for her to get her bearings and arrest the spin. Her head pounded with each beat of her heart.

…

The Friendship Initiative

“Then it’s too bad for you that I am bound by my Queen to make no violence,” Ash Eater spat.

Scootaloo contained a growl, “Sparring then.”

“What’s that?”

“A practice fight.”

He rolled his eyes, “Practice?”

“Yes,” her tone was measured, but still agitated. “Try not to cause permanent damage or break anything, and it ends when one of us says ‘yield’ or taps out. Other than that, anything goes.”

He narrowed his eyes at the mare.

“I am challenging you,” she seethed. “Come at me! Unless you’re afraid.”

The changeling, hungry for the taste of battle, vaulted forward, closing the short distance. He was met by a jab that caught him in the nose. He danced to his right, seeing stars in his vision for a moment.

He lashed out, and the pair traded a few blows. Ash Eater stumbled over his own hooves, a combination of being imprisoned for many months, unable to keep his skills sharp, and his missing right hind leg.

Scootaloo pressed forward, and Ash Eater dropped backward further to find a stable stance. He saw in her eyes that she had overextended herself, and he brought an uppercut that might have knocked her out had he landed it.

Scootaloo awkwardly pulled back, losing her balance and stumbling away. Ash Eater sprang upon her like a predator, his front hooves rained down like hammers on an anvil.

Fiery shouting erupted behind the changeling. He stepped back from his prey and turned just in time to see two city guards bearing down on him. Though they had drawn neither spear nor crossbow, the iron hooves with which they were shod and the ramming prow on their helmets would make for an unpleasant greeting should they be used.

Ash Eater stepped backward, quickly running out of space as he drew near the hay burger building. It was only then he noticed the onlookers that could be seen in every window and around every corner. The metallic taste of his own blood prompted him to spit; apparently the pegasus had landed a harder initial blow than he’d thought.

Scootaloo leapt up, directing her attention to the new arrivals, “I‘m his escort! Stand down!”

That was all she had time to say as they charged in. Ash Eater was easily able to read the look in their eyes. He’d seen it at least a hundred times during the war. They were about to strike, and he couldn’t talk his way out of it. Fighting was out of the question per his queen’s command, and running seemed ill advised. Taking what seemed the only viable option, Ash Eater determined he would not resist, though he would try to minimize the damage he sustained.

They were on him in a flash, pounding against his side and flank with their steel shoes. The changeling was knocked off balance and fell, using his front hooves to guard his head and curling up as much as he was able to protect his belly. Sharp pain rippled though his body with each impact.

“I said, stand down!” Scootaloo roared as she slammed into one of the guards, knocking him off balance.

The second guard, standing on Ash Eater’s front shoulders attempted reason, “Ma’am, please stand back.”

Scootaloo rounded on him, stepping forward quite aggressively, “Let him go! He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

The first guard grabbed her from behind. Scootaloo spun out of his grasp, tripping the armored stallion who was off balance. She then launched herself into the other one, pushing him backward.

She stood over Ash Eater, but didn’t get any more words out as the guards began shouting and struggling with her. The changeling thought she did quite well considering the circumstances, at least until four more guards showed up.

After that it was mere moments before they had her subdued, face in the dirt, “If that's how you want it, fine by us! You can both be arrested!”

“You’re not listening!” Scootaloo protested.

“Save it!” one of them shouted.

7833059
As it happens, I've written several stories with combat scenes that have been very well received. If you'd like to study those, go ahead.

7833059
For a great fight scene, it's very important to know the characters, their motivations, unique abilities, strengths and weaknesses and how they contribute to the fight itself and how and why the results happened. When I need to write a great fight scene, I'd just look for inspiration in other fight scenes from other media and use what I've learned to create my own fight scenes, mostly based on the characters and their own strengths, weaknesses and motivations for fighting. However, there are other ways to write a great fight scene besides just characters. There's pacing, descriptions, dialogue, etc.

I hope this helps.

7833059
Focus more on pacing than on details. Battle scenes shouldn't drag on. They should be dynamic and packed with fast-paced action. Here’s a quick guide on how to do it:
1. Goal
2. Conflict
3. Disaster
4. Reaction
5. Dilemma
6. Decision
7. Repeat
More on this here.

Example:
The Tentacle pony dropped out of the tree and sprang toward Sweetie Belle.

A bolt of raw adrenaline shot through Sweetie Belle’s veins. She jerked her horn, sighted toward the mass of tentacles and triggered the Fus-Ro-Dah spell. “Don't touch me, creature!”

The spell grazed the Tentacle pony's mane tentacles and knocked her off course. The monster staggered for a moment then leaped back in the air spreading her tentacles all around Sweetie Belle.

Firstly, thank you all for replying. I now realize that I missed a critical detail in my initial explanation of the problem I'm fighting. While I might write the story I have in mind here with anthro characters and therefore the problem might not apply, I know I don't only want to write anthro stories so I'll struggle with this eventually. The problem I'm having is better phrased as I have trouble visualizing, and therefore mentally describing, ponies fighting. I did taekwondo when I was younger, so I know how a humanoid person might fight and might think in a fight to some degree, but my problem is translating that to pony physiology. Magic to me is easy because it doesn't involve specifically the body, but most of the things I can immediately think of are things you wouldn't do in a high stakes situation: standing up on the hind legs to fight in a humanoid stance (exposes belly and therefore vital organs to sharp objects, might be fine in a sparring context or say pony boxing), turning around to buck (turning / looking away from opponent), or throwing a regular punch (it just feels like to me that that would both translate poorly in writing and be generally ineffectual). It might just be a mental block thing, but ramming someone kind of feels like the only things that makes sense to me right now. I'd like to read examples of fight choreography so that I can either move past it or find the moves I'm not thinking of.

7833081
Thank you for the example. I'll have a look into your stories to see if I can glean more from them.

7833098
I'll have a look into your stories too, thank you.

7833110
I did already have most of what you mentioned in mind, but thank you for highlighting them, when thinking of really action / moment to moment stuff it's easy for me to forget to add little details that are character specific, I'll keep that in mind. As I clarified in the broader reply at the top of this comment, I my main problem is with the physicality of the fight, if you have any stories from fimfic that have good fighting that you can point me in the direction of, that would be lovely (unless that's against the rules, but I didn't notice that being the case)

7833152
Thank you for the link, I'll read it after I'm done with this comment. I do know I'll break pacing on purpose for the fight that prompted me to reach out in the first place, but that won't be the first and only fight in the fic most likely so I'll need to keep that in mind for the others.

I learn by examples much better than I learn with theoretical advice, so if any of you have fic with what you'd consider good fight scenes in them, I'd love for you to send them my way (unless that's against the rules, but if it is I missed it, my bad). I used to be way more into MLP, but I kind of fell off with season 5 and I'm hopping back on now that I have free time again (college is over WOOO) and I'm hoping to finally write some of the stuff that's never stopped bubbling in my head.

7833378
Maybe this will help some with the physiology?

As for the other… maybe if you google videos of horses fighting, you can get something useful? I get the feeling that a search like that will be endlessly entertaining at the very least.

Good luck!

7833379
Ah, being a non-native english speaker strikes again. When I said physiology, I meant something more like the mental animation, the movements and descriptions thereof. Those videos of horses fighting might help, but mlp horses have a very different way of moving, they're very rubbery and flexible in ways real horses aren't.

7833378
You're welcome. I can PM you some fight scenes I've written in Google Docs if you want.

7833382
Well, don’t forget that your audience is a human audience, and so they’re not gonna be too strict about something if you’re a little vague on some points… So long as you manage to get the point across you’ll get where you want to be. The mechanics of the fight is not nearly so important as how it contributes to the story being told, and how it makes the reader feel about it.

7833383
That would be lovely, yeah.

7833384
I suppose that will work until the final fight. That one needs to be granular and precise. I hope I'll be familiar enough by the time I write it that it won't be too bad.