[Adult story embed hidden]

Summary: Soarin has a walk in the park on his way home, there he encounters some strange creature and the story focuses on his point of view while events happen. The story also focuses havely on a passive protagonist, watching the scene than really take action themselves. For good or bad? You may know when your read the review.

The story starts with the usual build up, the setting is established, a park, some other characters passing by, a bit of thought from the main character, pretty the usal. It is neither good or bad at this point, it is stuff you see regulary, it covers near half of the story and is written passable. The horror part starts when Soarin take a seat on a branch later on and looks at the surrounding treeline. There he spots a pony shaped shadow or something and is unable to move anymore. Form that point on, the story descripes his emotions, his thoughts, also the usual horror elements like flickering light and therelike. Again, it is written passable, not too cliche heavy, but also not very inspired either. What does peak out a bit is the idea for the ending along with the surprise that comes with it, the story is build up a way you did not see this ending comming.

To sum it up, a standart horror story with a interesting ending.

Rating: Horror: 4/10 It is the basic stuff, averagly written, with a pinch of surprise.
Idea: 4/10 As I said, the ending is fine, the rest is more or less the standard.
Writing skill: 5/10 Solid.

5/10

Feedback: I would suggest to add a few more original horror moments, a bit more of entertaining through the read. Like what you did with the ending, stuff you don't see comming or better said don't expect to happen. What you wrote down here is not bad in general, but it is likely known for everybody who reads horror regulary.

Thanks for the review!