ETwilight's (Forced) Friendship Speeches

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy

Princess Twilight Sparkle tries to give a friendship-hating changeling friendship speeches. They go as well as you might expect.

• Alt. Universe
• Twilight
• Thorax
• Pharynx

ThePinkedWonder · 5.4k words  ·  41  2 · 1.6k views

Writen by ThePinkedWonder

Summary: Knowing Thorax had struggled to convince some of his follow changelings to change, Princess Twilight Sparkle decided to visit the changeling hive and check up on him.

It turned out, with the exception of one changeling, Pharynx, all of the changelings had finally accepted the new way and had transformed as a result. Even so, as the Princess of Friendship, Twilight took it upon herself to get Pharynx to change his ways and learn friendship.

No matter how many times Pharynx says "no".

Analysis: I all honesty expected another addition to the 'unusual punishment' saga, but it actually doesn't follow the same path as the other stories have. There is no mysterious punishment that everybody cowers in fear over, but it still is able to keep the story interesting.

So, what happens when you end up having to try and teach somepony who could care less about friendship? You pester him to death with them!

The clashing attitudes of the overeager Twilight constantly trying to talk him into accepting friendship speeches and Pharynx's relentless stubbornness about refusing friendship make for many fun scenarios. I was worried that Twilight's overeagerness would be out of character and forced, but it makes more sense by the end of the story, and it makes for a surprising twist ending.

I was surprised about the unique path this story took, hanging onto the writer's continuity while looking for new paths to take in these stories. That tells me that this writer is able to take risks with new styles and ideas. This makes me curious about what else this writer can do. This story is the pathway of this writer becoming even more renown for this clever comedic style, and I can't wait to see more.

Writing: 10/10

I cannot find any grammatical errors, and this author has always taken great care in the spelling and grammatical aspects of these stories. This takes a lot of dedication and time to perfect the story to such a flawless state. It takes several revisions and thorough reading in order to go through all of these possible mistakes and correct them.

The plot of the story: 10/10

Now, I have always been a major fan of this writer ever since I started reviewing these stories, although I did start to fear that this writer would be stuck with one style that would be difficult to break from. However, this story shows what more is in store.

This story is able to focus more on what happens when an unmovable object meets an unstoppable force. The idea of Twilight taking the place of Trixie and Starlight in trying to reform Pharynx is already interesting and is only made better when combining that concept with the comical technique of Twilight giving relentless speeches, most of which don't connect to the situation. In spite of the sporadic nature of Twilight, it makes for a funny story and a great read.

Story flow. 10/10

This story focuses more on Pharynx's perspective after a while. (I'm not saying that this is a first-person story. It's not.) The perspective just explains It has to start from Twilight's perspective to give us the backstory of what is going on. It quickly lets us know that Twilight is more active than normal and it sets up for later on in the story. After that, it focuses on Pharynx who gives us a glimpse of his mindset before the antics start.

The story then focuses on Twilight's obsessiveness and the escalation of Pharynx's attempts to get rid of her. I like how the attempts become more and more drastic, from trying to trick her into a game of hide and seek into sending her near a bugbear. The twist at the end helps tie together Twilight's antics and what happens when you go just a little too far.

It's interesting and does a steady escalation instead of going into all-out madness too soon. The story's escalation and finish kept me invested to the end, where it ends with a rather funny punch line.

Final score: 30/30 10/10

This story adds new flavor to this writer's style and tells me that there is a lot more to see in the future. There is a lot of dedication in this craft, and it shows by the clearness of the story. I recommend this story to anybody looking for a good laugh and a clever interpretation of an episode where somepony loses her mind.

As for the author, I can't wait to see what new and inventive story comes out next.

7277525

Thanks and can't complain about the scoring

Going over the story so much to try to catch every mistake is a pain and I still missed one, but someone in the comments pointed it out. It was a little embarrassing, but it seemed like it was only that one I missed. I wonder how many might have at first thought Twilight's eyes being blue in the hive was a grammar error, when it was in truth a hint that something was wrong with her.

You might be surprised how bad my grammar was during my first stories (at least most are now fixed) I've made a HUGE improvement since then.

7277558
It means a lot to me, considering how bad my spelling was when I started writing. I can understand your progression on your grammar skills, and this story shows a lot about the level of skill you have.