As the weather turns drizzly, Bella and Edward go back to Bella’s house, only to find Jacob and Billy waiting there. Edward reads Billy’s mind and learns that he’s there to warn Charlie about Bella and Edward being together. See, Bella? You should’ve told him earlier. Edward leaves before the Blacks can see him. When Bella enters her house, Billy’s supposedly there to deliver Charlie some fish fry, but he quickly shoos Jacob back to their car under the pretense of looking for a picture so he

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The epilogue begins some time after the previous chapter; Bella’s up and about, but her leg hasn’t quite fully healed yet. She’s in a nice dress (dressed and made up by Alice), and Edward’s in a tuxedo, and he’s driving her somewhere, and she doesn’t know where. When she realizes he’s taking her to the prom, she has a hissy fit and actually starts crying before Edward tells her to humor him. Bella still sulks, though:

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Technically, this isn’t the first chapter; there’s a few-paragraph “preface” before it. But I only needed to read a few words to know that it was from the climax of the book. Why include it? I don’t know anyone in it, there’s no context, and it’s not long enough to get me invested in an in medias res thing. Also, a hunter is described as “sauntering” to his would-be kill for some reason. I skipped it.

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As soon as Bella and her friends get to Port Angeles, dress-shopping ensues. Given the subject matter and book, it’s not as insufferable as you might think it is, and largely skipped over. During the shopping, Bella hears from Angela that the Cullens are often out of school when the weather’s nice, as they frequently go backpacking.

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Why didn’t I just stop reading? Oh, right, because I’m a glutton for punishment.

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That describes most of the book. Most of the series, actually.

Aro and Caius, another one of the Volturi, discuss Nessie, and Bella overhears. Aro is adamant that Nessie isn’t an immortal child and the Cullens don’t deserve to die for that. Then Caius brings up the werewolves:

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More and more vamps start hanging out at the Cullens’. Naturally, they need to hunt humans. Jacob’s miffed at the killing, but he shuts up for Nessie’s sake. In the space of three sentences. Really:

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Before Charlie leaves, he and Bella briefly talk about how much to tell Renee. They decide no more than is necessary; Charlie says he’ll think of something. He asks to hold Nessie for a moment, and… Ugh, this is creepy:

I could see it in his face — I could watch it growing there. (I know, you just said it.) Charlie was just as helpless against her magic as the rest of us. Two seconds in his arms, and already she owned him.

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Edward keeps Bella busy on the island for days, with things like snorkeling and hiking and birdwatching, and she’s tired a lot. One night, Bella suggests waiting a little more for her to be turned; she wants to try out Dartmouth a bit, stay human for longer than she’d expected. Why? So she and Edward can bang some more. Hate hate hate.

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Some authors just don’t grasp the concept of “unedited”.

It’s morning. Jacob and Seth have been patrolling off and on throughout the night, one of them sleeping while the other runs. Jacob’s wrenched from his fitful sleep by Seth’s howling; Leah’s also joined their pack. For some reason, Jacob and Seth both act like this is a bad thing.

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We don’t get to see Bella and Jacob throw down, which might’ve been impressive. We don’t even get to see them get pulled apart. We cut to after the incident, where Edward and Seth have already intervened and stopped Bella, although Bella broke Seth’s arm. Edward praises her for keeping control over herself for as long as she did. Shut up with the amazing control part. I don’t care if it’s true, I’m tired of hearing it. Bella tries to calm herself down from her spat by thinking over some

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Bella’s and Edward’s honeymoon takes them to Brazil; specifically, Rio de Janeiro. They head to the ocean docks on the western edge of the city. The ocean on the western edge of a city in Brazil. Really:

The taxi continued through the swarming crowds until they thinned somewhat, and we appeared to be nearing the extreme western edge of the city, heading into the ocean.

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Yesterday, I made my first proper step to preparing to enter the world of work. I spoke to a careers advisor at college, and decided on a career path for myself -- library or archive work. Having done some volunteer work at my college library earlier this year, I can say that I found it a pleasant and genuinely enjoyable experience. I'm already pretty good at getting organised and keeping things organised, and should have no trouble searching through archives and databases. I know I have the

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thats right

the muse for the story is dead, but i have a few ideas in a few chapters i might use at a later date

those chapters have been removed in order to preserve the idea

idk

i might try writing again sometime, but for now

im tired

Even though her first encounter with him was almost completely negative (except for the fact that he’s so frigging hot like whoa), Bella’s next day at school is terrible because Edward isn’t there. She keeps expecting him to show up, as if he’s skipping school to wind her up. She suspects his absence is her fault, which I can kinda see, but is also ridiculous and egotistical (something she herself points out, but that doesn’t make it not ridiculous and egotistical).

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It’d rained in the previous chapter, but Bella wakes up to find the weather cold enough freeze the rain solid, coating everything in a layer of ice and turning the roads into an ice rink. Naturally, school’s cancelled; there’s no way the school’s going to let students drive out in those conditions.

No, wait. School’s not cancelled. Students have to drive out in those conditions.

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Holy crap was this chapter uneventful.

Bella’s dream of Edward can be summed up like this: “Edward’s so frigging hot like whoa, but I can’t get to him.” (By the way, I’m not exaggerating with working that phrase into every post thus far. Nearly every mention of Edward talks about how beautiful he is.)

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After a little more waiting, Alice gets another convenient vision of James in another room. When she sketches out the room, Bella recognizes it as her mother’s family room; James is going after Renee to get to Bella. Fortunately, the rest of the Cullens will be arriving in Phoenix soon. (Side note: there’s two or three more times when Bella says something stupid about Edward’s absence, like, “Just a few more hours to keep breathing till he was here.”, but I’m giving up commenting on them.

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I did. These books are predictable.

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