Thousands of years ago, discord was the first lord of chaos. His apprentice, Xanth, decided one day to prove his worth to the art of brutality and heartlessness. He overthrew discord, took his powers, and turned him into a multidragon. Ever since that day, Xanth has been letting discord take the credit as the lord of chaos. Now that he has at last hoof picked the perfect ponies to perfectly counteract the elements of harmony, he came out of the dark and ready to kill all those who have ever and will ever oppose him.
Chapters (3)
wut
2518682 First story. Don't judge too harshly.
*Each chapter is less than the minimally accepted amount of 1000 words*
Dear Diety help me...
Oh dear. Grammar and spelling errors side by side, (Missing space for new sentence, a the should be then. Ugh.) plot rushing by so fast that not a single fuck is given. (FFS, less than 200 freaking words and Discord has just died. Why? We don't freakin know. What is this, a summarized second-hand retelling?!)
I honestly don't know what I was expecting.
2518856 That comment alone makes me give this story a thumbs down. Now this will have to be insanely good to reverse that. I don't care if this is your first story or your fiftieth. I judge it the same as I judge all others, on quality, and provide critique based on that. How else do you expect to get better at writing?
In short, fuck you for that comment and for being like every other asshole out there who thinks they get a free pass to write complete crap because 'it's their first story'.
2518859 Minimally accepted 1000 words is for overall story, not chapter to chapter. There are also some good stories out there that have that tiny bite sized chapters. Don't judge solely on that.
This story did not redeem itself. Horrible grammar and spelling abounds. Disconnected, fast paced events that make little to no sense. Randomly killing someone known to be so powerful that two alicorns together still needed the Elements to stop him, and doing so with a blade.
Yeah, no. Just... no.
2518856
First stories are first stories so that they can be judged harshly. To give you an idea on where you stand as a writer and what you should improve on. Asking for people not to judge your first story is absurd and it makes it look as though you're too weak to take criticism. My first story I ever posted I utterly hated and wanted to see it ravaged so I knew what to do better for the second story onward.
Honestly, this is a very tired excuse I see people using when they feel like they're being personally attacked over their stories.
Discord is a name. Therefore, it should start with a capital D. All names start with capital letters.
I think you need a bit more detail on how he managed to kill a beast as powerful as Discord. Your chapters need to be a bit longer and have more detail. I recommend you get an editor to help you fix some grammar mistakes. Good luck.
*Reads story*
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdxmzgFJz91rlu8t8o1_500.jpg
This story was so bad it mind crushed Kaiba without a millenium item.
Well, last time I share an account with my little brother. I am truly sorry you all had to read this abomination. I will be making a new account, as I don't think the great and powerful internet will accept this account any longer.
2519201 Might want to change the avatar pic too. Red and black alicorns made in the Pony Creator as an author's image often harm said author's reputation.
Okay, so, here's the pros and cons.
Pros:
[None]
Cons:
Everything
It is a decent concept, but the execution is less than perfect.
Quick question. Did you think ANYONE would like this?
Goodness. OK. Um... this was-er- overall it was
.
If this DIDN'T have so many grammatical, and structural errors, it would be a damn good story. I'd like to read it, if you'd be interested in rewriting it. You should check out Ezn's fan-fiction writing guide and try again, the plot is very interesting.
sp00ky