• Member Since 1st Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 23rd, 2014

Speckle21


E

Equestria has been obliterated by war, the only spoils for the survivors are loss, despair and hopelessness. But in the barren wasteland, in the center of all the destruction, a single earth pony attempts to reverse the damage and restore hope... one tree at a time.

Can one markless earth pony succeed where armies and alicorns have failed? One pegasus war veteran shall find out and come to realize the greatest acts of change do not require epic magic or great power, but passion, dedication and generosity.

Proofread by Quylaa.

Ponified version of the classic story: The man who planted trees.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 47 )

My goodness, that is a great rendition of the story. I really enjoyed this and you sir have a knack for short stories it seems. Next time you write try making your own, and see how that goes. As for this story, there is a lot more you could have added, but I appreciate how short you kept it. Some little things to note, you probably could have detailed a lot more throughout, and a few sentences I had to re-read. I'm going to give you the benefit of a doubt that you proof read, but you might wanna try it again, reading out loud to yourself. I love this story, for some reason I was able to imagine it through out, and somehow it was very symbolic. The burned off cutie marks, the fact they may have been different factions, the flying and dropping of the armor. I don't think you intentionally made all of that symbolic, but hey I go back and read my stories sometimes to see the symbolism I accidentally added. Anyways, you got a favorite, a like, and if you send me a message to help you out in pre-reading editing, or if you just want to talk to someone, I'll follow you that way. Anyways...

Final Verdict: Ever read a rendition that works really well? This is one of those rare moments.

Post-war story? Interesting. I shall wait to see what else comes. But two things: First, not much talking in this. O_o And second, You could use more details; such as describing what the house looked like and this of that nature. But all around, I like it. Keep it coming please. :pinkiehappy:

2572053 You realize there is a reason there isn't any dialogue. It supposed to create a serene surrounding, and like you mentioned, if he had added more detail, you would know that there doesn't need to be a lot of dialogue. I'm not trying to sound like a cock, so sorry if this came off that way. Perhaps you should go listen to the story this is based off of.

2572080
You weren't being a cock, you were calling me out on my lack of knowledge. :pinkiecrazy:
And I had no idea this was based on something. I don't think I'd have gotten the fact that there wasn't supposed be much talking with or without detail. :derpytongue2:

2572106 No problem man, just making sure all are well informed before delving into a poetic short story. Ever read anything by Ernest Hemingway? I had to read his biography before jumping into anything he wrote, literature sucks man. It takes a lot of time to break apart, but once you do it makes you appreciate the little things from reading a story.

2572027

Why thank you so much!

I do have a few totally original stories i'm thinking on. I hope to improve my writing a bit before i tackle them.

You are totally right about the detail. Looking at it now i realize i did gloss over... most of it. I'll be sure to try and fill it out more in the next chapter.

Interestingly enough i did intentionally insert those symbolic points and a few more. I'm glad some of them came across. I loved the original story and i felt i wanted to insert some of my own war-symbolism since there was no possible way i could match the sheer poetry of the original. I felt the post-war symbolism would go perfectly with the concept of rebirth (through the trees).

And thank you very much for your offer of proofreading and editing. I think i'll take you up on that offer. I'm planning one, maybe two, more chapters and i would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read.

2572053

Thanks!

Other than fallout: Equestria i've seen so few stories set after a war. I thought it would be a refreshing change of scenery.

You are very correct about the details. I shall try and include more in the next chapter.

Thank you very much for your feedback.

2572896 No problem man, sometimes things hit me just right and I'm not such an asshole. :rainbowlaugh:

Either way glad to hear you plans, again, feel free to message me for help at anytime.

good read, it was philosophical but not in a way that the common reader would lose interest. I liked your descriptions and the fact that you managed to portray a pony that doesn't talk much but still says plenty. I like your work and hope to see more in the future. :heart:

2574897

Thank you!

Definitely more coming in a few weeks :twilightsmile:

As someone who has written a few stories based on others, I commend you. (most notably, I did a remix of Ayn Rand's Anthem with the Changelings being the focus, which on the note of your previous conversations, was set after a few centuries after a war in which the changelings rules equestria and forced the ponies into slavery). At the same time, you really made the story your own, and the idea itself is a great one. I'll be watching you, both literally and less-literally-but-not-figuratively-but-actually-sort-of-figuratively-since-its-through-a-screen.

2588202

Thank you so much!!!

I feel honored to have my very first stalker! :twilightsheepish:

If this story doesn't get significantly noticed across the next two weeks, I'll add it to Buried Treasures as well.

2588383
Big thanks if that should come to pass. :twilightsmile:

This story is simply amazing. And seeing as it's a rendition, I went ahead and added it to my group, 'The Renditioner's Guild' so that anyone that joins might find it and see the greatness.

<3 DarqFox

2598523

Thank you so much! :pinkiesmile:

This is a great story and was very enjoyable to read. I don't think you are that guilty of show vs tell, I think you done a great job at describing the environment and the history of the war you gave me with provided the perfect back story to understand the context behind your story here.

All in all, a great job! :D

2611775

Why thank you! I hope the next two chapters will be just as good. :twilightsmile:

This is a good story and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. (Not like anyone has. :derpytongue2: )

To the south was the rainforest where I fell in love with an amazonian princess. He called me out on my lie and I told him I was just making sure he was still listening.

LOL! Always good to be sure. and according to my auto spellcheck, amazonian is a typo. How so? 'cause the A isn't capital. :facehoof: But oh well. :pinkiesmile:

After several weeks I eventually I filled the basin

That second I and one of the spaces next to it needs to go.

But overall a good story. all in all you've made, what, two, three mistakes? That's better then my record.

2614514 Thanks! Edits have been made. :raritywink:

I picked one up and found it to be the most cheap, gaudy and tacky thing I had seen in my entire life. I put it on and wore it with great pride.

LOL.

*Reads end of story* Well done, good sir! :ajsmug: I shall look forward to any other storys you may make.

~A Dark Reminder

I loved this. It was a great and engaging read. Well done!

Only problem I found was that maybe you should make a few more paragraphs and have it not so "wall-of-texty", but that was the only thing I thought was off with the story. Everything else was great. :twilightsmile:

2616235 Thanks! i hope to live up to your expectations :twilightsmile:

2616912 thanks!
I look into the wall of text thing :coolphoto:

This was a wonderful, heartwarming story! Definitely keeping it in my favorites. Well done. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Speckle21 deleted Jun 15th, 2013
Comment posted by Rainbooms deleted Jun 23rd, 2013

I normally don't go for retellings of classic stories but this works just sooo well. I especially liked the last part about the tree planter surpassing what Celestia thinks possible.
Well done.

2799373

Why thank you! i'm so happy you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy:

This is absolutely amazing and awesome and great and wonderful. I need to love you. This story should be featured. :moustache:
Forever. We need a story Hall of Fame.

2869667

Thanks! I really appreciate it. :pinkiehappy:

2872195

Hehe Thanks! i'm glad you liked it!. :pinkiehappy:

How did you come across this story?
i had an explosion of views and i'm not sure why :derpyderp2:

2874880 It was in the group "The Dreamers." I've found many other magical stories there.

Man, this is so amazing, I absolutely love the unspoken relationship they shared. Just ohmygoodness, this story blew my mind a little :raritystarry:

I feel like my life has to be rewritten. My inside voice was crying so many happy tears it was crazy :pinkiesad2: I loved this story so much, and you should get so much recognition for this. :twilightsmile:

3597554

Why thank you! I really appreciate it!

Now i've kinda written myself into a corner because i don't know how to top this one :derpytongue2:

Nonetheless, i love that this story has touched you the way it was intended. :raritywink:

...Well then, your story has been reviewed, as you submitted it to this group.

Oh, and this is the review. Hope that I'm right! :twilightblush:
...And you just created a theory on Equestria's creation. Good job!

3808556

Yay! a review! BIG THANKS!!! :twilightsmile:

3808651

Anytime, but you deserve the good score! :moustache:

It-it-it-s-s-s-its-BEAUTIFUL:raritycry:I Love It :yay::trollestia::twilightsmile::raritystarry::rainbowkiss::pinkiehappy::ajsmug:

Did he choose a cause worth dying for, or did he choose to live for a cause?

Nice ...Was one of the new towns Ponyville? Would've been cool if you said that, but still nice..

Definitely a worthwhile read.

10/12

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