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Something Left Buried

In the depths of Eqestria's soil, a being of great power has awoken from their deathly slumber.

Join them as they try to remember what they are, where they are and how they awoke in a cadaverous body.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 2 )

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FakeScienceMonthly

FakeScienceMonthly #1 · May 15th, 2013 · · ·

The story is visually interesting, and it's cool because Tirek's in it and Tirek is cool. But...

It's pretty uninteresting as a story. There aren't really and events in it and the descriptions alone aren't enough to drive it. It perhaps would be if you did more with Tirek's character, but he doesn't even know what's going on for the first 2/3 of the story. I guess it's good enough as a distraction, because it's short, but this is a story I will soon forget reading.

Tetrominon

Tetrominon #2 · May 16th, 2013 · · ·

You've got an A+ concept for a villain, here: the would-be savior turned maddened heretic, with an extra chip on their shoulder from having been psychically drawn and quartered then buried alive. It even fits in perfectly with the show's established lore, and the descriptions are also top-shelf. However, as FSM pointed out, it's not very satisfying as a one-shot. Who's waking him up? What happens now? You bring up these questions, lead them on a bit, then just toss them off a cliff. If you intended this to stand alone, you really should have handled those points better.

Also, and this may just be me, but I don't buy Tirek for the reveal at all; nothing about the origin you came up with really fits his character. If you ever expand on this idea, I really think you'd do better coming up with a new villain rather than shoehorning your story into an old one.

All that aside, whatever it turns out to be, please, do keep writing.