Want
Chapter 6: Want
The world was dark with no stars in the night sky. Luna hadn’t the strength to raise them and so the moon hung precariously, all alone. Panicked and terrified like a startled doe Celestia awoke. When her eyes to adjusted to the lack of light she made out Lunar and Celestial symbols interwoven on the stonework surrounding her. This was Luna’s bedroom and had once been theirs, she remembered. Since The Nightmare had overtaken her sister a thousand years past she had not set hoof in it.
“Easy, big sister,” Celestia was startled by the sudden realization that Luna was standing over her, caressing her forehead. “We let the citizens know that things will be well. They wanted to see you but our royal authority was enough, for now.”
“What happened?” Celestia asked.
Luna looked at her with emotions unhidden, nothing but pity on her face. “You are an idiot.” No relapse of events transpired nor a context for Luna’s words was provided.
“What happened?” Celestia commanded.
“You. Are an idiot,” Luna’s pity turned to statement of fact.
Her temper flared. “Don’t treat me like a child. I-”
“Don’t act like one,” Her sister retorted. “You cannot command me Tia. Not any more than you can command her.”
“Who?” Celestia’s indignant reply was met with a hoof to her jaw and she took it, reveling in the pain and letting it fill her. It was better than what she felt inside.
Luna shook her head, reminding herself of her sorrow, it would do no good for either of them to hate now. “I’m worried about her. I found only you. She was taken by somepony she knew, but I don’t know where she is.”
Celestia remembered. Twilight’s determination, the mare’s eyes and fierce, biting words. Her own magic overpowered. “What have I done?” Luna remained silent.
She had thought that Twilight was just another student and just another crush to push aside, but the fire, Twilight’s fire, was anything but. Celestia had been filled with sorrow at her former students adoration and a separation due to her duty. She had shut down and dismissed Twilight entirely, dismissing herself as well. It hadn’t mattered how Celestia felt, she had had her ‘solution’. It had been what was best for both of them. Hadn’t it?
‘You are a terrible pony’. The words echoed like bells ringing over and over in her head. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
“I am.”
* * *
“Twilight?” A rough voice said. “Honey, she’s coming to.” Twilight’s head throbbed worse than the night after her entrance exam. The room was hauntingly familiar, but spinning too much to identify.
She shook off her dizziness, shutting her eyes to the candlelight. It was her room, in her parents house. “Mom?”
“We’re here Twiley.” Her mother’s anxious face met her own, her father biting his lip beside her. That’s right, she thought, vaguely remembering being carried by her mother and father away from the aftermath. They had found her and taken her to the safest place she knew. They had taken her home.
Full awareness finally returned to her. Twilight’s memory told her one thing, but what was possible told her something else entirely. She had not only lost control of her magic, but yelled at Celestia, destroyed her old study and beaten the Princess in magic. “How did you find me?”
Her mom answered. “It was your tower, your magic and your voice. We all heard it dear.”
“Um,” Twilight’s father nervously joined in, “If you don’t mind me asking, Twilight my dear, who’s perfect?”
Perfect, what she had vented to Celestia after she was banished. Banished from the one she cared for most. “Oh dad. Mom.” Despite heavy bruising Twilight leapt from her bed and buried her face in her parent’s chests, letting the tears stream freely down her face. They returned her affections, with gentle nuzzles and arms around her back. No more questions came, no more words at all; they held her, firm and soft. It was amazing how such a little thing as their silent company gave her strength.
After time for the worst of her hurt to be over Twilight rambled. She told them how she had always liked Celestia, but that she knew nothing would come of it. How she longed after her mentor, but had buried her emotions and lay broken hearted, trying to be a friend to her princess. She recounted her attempts to get over Celestia and her confession just a few days before, of the Princess taking her in and of her final breakdown and fight with Celestia.
“It was terrible,” she hiccuped. “She looked scared mom! Scared of me. She won’t even-”
“Twilight,” her mom broke the long silence. “If she’s going to dismiss your friendship, then this ‘Princess’ isn’t worth your time.”
“Mother!” Her parents had never thought to insult Celestia before, showing only adoration and worship even. There was more Twilight wanted to say, but the shock of her mother dismissing Celestia was a large bite for her to take.
Her father tsked. “Listen to your mother, Twiley. Any Princess who can’t see how special you are, well... she isn’t that good of a Princess.”
“I have half a mind to march right up to those palace gates and teach her a thing or two about manners.” The older mare started putting on her coat, completely serious to defend her child. “Letting you down is one thing, but that’s no excuse to be cold-hearted.”
It felt strange, but Twilight laughed between her sniffles. This was home, her home, and she was more welcome here than anywhere except Ponyville. It felt good to be sad here.
* * *
Celestia watched the night. Princess Luna, as much as she had wanted to take care of her sister, was in dire need of rest. Being up for two days in a row would do that to a pony. So Celestia flew, not high in the sky like her heart desired with altitude’s promise of escape, but low to the ground and within Canterlot. She didn’t deserve her freedom, her mind told her.
Consoling the public had been simple enough. When they saw that yes she was alright, and no Nightmare Moon hadn’t returned, things went back to normal. Luna still had her work cut out for her in the dreams and nightmares of her people, but that was her burden.
Celestia’s burden was not her duty tonight, but her worry for her once faithful student. Words raced in her mind again and again. ‘I thought I was the cause some of those smiles.’ ‘You are a terrible pony.’ ‘You’re perfect.’ Perfect. The word was poison to her mind. So many years, so many centuries of ponies had called her perfect, not allowing her a moments rest or a single missed step.
You’re perfect.
Is that what Twilight thought? If she wasn’t a pony who could make a mistake then why had Twilight forwarded perfect with terrible pony?
Her flight pattern veered off, becoming less arbitrary to circle the towers of Canterlot’s archives. Because she knows me. I’m not perfect and she knows my faults better than I do. Peppermint tea did leave an unpleasant aftertaste in her mouth that took much too long to be rid of. Why hadn’t Celestia made that connection?
Perfect.
But it wasn’t perfect that Twilight meant. At least not in the traditional sense of royal or flawless, rather something else entirely, something deeply personal to Twilight herself. Celestia forgot to flap when she realized the entirety of Twilight’s definition of ‘perfect’.
It meant Twilight thought of her as the perfect mate. Perfect for Twilight.
Celesita fell to the ground, smashing into and ruining the garden’s prized gazebo, though her thoughts concerned her more. She had taken in this vulnerable filly, taught the pony as best she could, opening up to Twilight as she did with nopony else. All the while she had told herself it was to drive Twilight away. Yet Twilight stayed, laughing and smiling the whole way. Celestia cared for her. And when the filly turned adult returned that affection, what did she do? She didn’t believe Twilight, scorned her and shut down instead of share any kind of closeness with her. Closeness that Celestia had been giving before, she could finally admit to herself.
She isn’t the other ponies and hers isn’t their confessions. I shut her out because of my own fear. My own stupid, irrational fear. Luna is right. Celestia crawled out of the wreckage. I am an idiot.
* * *
It was an unexpected surprise when a palace guardspony knocked on her parent’s door the next morning. The scroll he was carrying was more mysterious than surprising however, as it bore the cutie mark of neither Celestia nor Luna, but Pinkie.
Twilight,
Come to the canterlot Gardens right after sunset.
Sincerely,
All your friends.
P.S. There will be cake and apple food so don’t eat anything.
P.P.S. Also Rarity made you a dress so don’t wear anything.
P.P.P.S. Oh, and come alone.
P.P.P.P.S. Please! I forgot please! Please come.
P.P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for all the P.S.esseses
Twilight had to laugh. This was all Pinkie.
* * *
Celestia slept in again that morning. The sun rose as guided by the Princess of the night, who was sure to perform the ritual out of sight so that her sister could rest. Luna took out a certain wooden box she had retrieved from the rubble of the tower, which remained scorched but intact and set it upon the nightstand. “Sleep well, little sister.”
* * *
After the incident the previous twilight there were debris workers, construction crews, landscaping ponies, and just about anypony else who could profit from a disaster lining up around court. Celestia would have none of it: the tower was to remain missing, the debris to be cleared by magic, Luna’s magic. Luna wasn’t at court for just this reason. Over and over Celestia was forced by duty to put on her mask, smile and nod, pretend to care, and explain the same thing again.
Her wings ruffled and she had to keep them from flaring as the politics of the day went on and on. Normally it would amuse her, even if only a little, but that morning she had opened the box at her bedside table. Inside it were what Celestia recognized as Twilight’s most precious memories and a journal. The little book was a mishmash of sporadic thoughts ranging from ‘Ate beets today’ to detailed compilations of weeks. One entry in particular, a list, reinforced everything Celestia had come to realize about the unicorn; that Twilight was her own pony.
A pony that Celestia wanted to be close to again and maybe explore something else.
The day wore on and sunset loomed, but Celestia’s mind was in another world. She certainly never thought of fantasizing or daydreamed. That would be unbecoming of a Princess.
* * *
The little squirrel tilted his head into Fluttershy’s hoof. “Um, Pinkie, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, what if you’re wrong? I wouldn’t want anypony to feel awkward...”
“Don’t worry Sheyey.” That was a new nickname from Pinkie. “I’ve got a gooood feeling about this, after all, my dimples are showing!” A pink blur decorated, demonstrated and facilitated proper party procedure at breakneck speeds, checking and double-checking that everything was going according to plan.
“Your dimples are always showing, dear.” Rarity straightened out a set of ribbons. “I still cannot believe you convinced us to help you with this little scheme,” The unicorn protested. “There! The hall is finished. How is the garden gazebo coming?”
Applejack poked her head out from around the wooden beams, the new structure looking finished. “Almost fixed there Rarity... just a little... there!”
“Whew!” Dash sighed, letting go of the rope that once held the ceiling to the gazebo. “Are we finished?”
“Not Quiiite,” Pinkie smiled. The familiar tsss of a lit fuse was followed by a sharp BANG of the party cannon. “Now we’re prepared for the perfect party, my pretty pony pals. Spike, did you send out the letters?”
“Yep, gave them to the guardsponies this morning.” The dragon leaned alongside the gazebo, eating appetizers before they were technically supposed to be taken, but Twilight wasn’t there to stop him. “The Princess and Twilight should be here any minute”
* * *
A rushing guard pony met a rushing Celestia head on and the two collided. Only it wasn’t a guard pony. The earth pony with a brown coat and blue eyes looked at her from behind armor that didn’t fit and did little to conceal his identity. “What are you doing here?” Celestia asked.
“Just-just doing my rounds.” He laughed, nervous and skittish. Did she know? She couldn’t know.
“What are you doing here?” the Princess commanded.
She knew. “Passing through your majesty, nothing more.”
“Nothing more?” There was always more. He didn’t come by unless something was happening.
“Well, it’s important that you go to the Canterlot Gardens right now.” The scared stiff pony looked about to bolt, as if caught by a predator.
“Right now?” Celestia confirmed.
“Well, whenever you would have, erm, will.”
His slip of grammar confirmed his identity for Celestia but before she could probe further a grey pegasus in a white dress ran up and dragged him away. “Come on, stupid,” she chided, “we were supposed to be going to the wedding!”
Celestia hadn’t galloped for ages, but it was a good time to start.
* * *
“Your majesty, you are the Sun of all Equestria, but his will not work unless you please stop fussing.” Rarity primped the dress out. The alicorn had arrived first and was given little choice but to be taken over and dressed, or leave. She took one look at the dress and had agreed. “You’re making wrinkles!” Celestia’s heart beat faster than on the gallop over. Would it work? Please let it work, Celestia hoped.
* * *
Twilight couldn’t wait. She had to get there, had to be there early and figure out just what her friends were planning. If it was anything like Pinkie’s usual plans of getting people together with a party things could end very badly. The last time she saw Celestia the two had fought so hard Twilight had taken out a tower! Celestia had... dismissed her.
The memory of it stuttered Twilight’s thoughts, and in that moment she mistook her footing on the stones and tumbled head over hoof. Her drive to carry on stopped with her body. What was the point?
She lay on the stone steps in pain. The fall didn’t hurt much on the outside, but inside her hurt let loose. She wanted to take back everything she had said and say it all again at the same time. How could I have been so foalish? Why am I still even here? Anguish took over, leaving her unmoving in silent sorrow. Time passed slowly. It didn’t matter if another pony came and went and she wouldn’t have been aware enough to see them come or go.
Why can’t it be over? she cried to herself, trying to not take in the overwhelming palace around her or the fact that she was still there, even after Celestia had ordered her to leave. There’s nothing left for me here. I don’t know what I’m... what is there?
Her friends. They were there and they were the most important ponies in her life. She was apprehensive, nervous, fearful and her stomach was twisting inside out, but she had to trust her friends. That had been one of her lessons on this journey and she wasn’t about to forget it. It wasn’t all for nothing. It was for herself.
She rose again, dusted herself off, and walked. Walking was okay, she thought after a while, maybe she could canter. Her pace quickened. It no longer mattered just what her friends were planning, only that she was with them. She didn’t have to face this despair alone. Before she knew it the gardens were right in front of her and Pinkie’s classic party supplies were nowhere to be seen. No streamers, starlights, balloons or bright colors were in sight. She heaved a sigh of relief. I’m going to make.... it....
Twilight had, in fact, made it. Right in time for Celestia to walk into the garden from the hall.
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Kind of a short chapter here. And really just build up to boot. So, can't really comment except to say 'see ya next week,' since this one is nigh filler.
Not bad on the art though, guessing you're enjoying doing it just as much as writing the story.
You.. YOU.. YOU!!
Ingenious, unrepentent ba***rd.
I hate cliff hangers, yet I can't stop loving your story.
Can't wait till next Friday, and continue the great work.
You fantastical bass, you are lucky I don't make time skip forwards again. It's just a good thing that I know it will be worth the wait.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Why would you DO that?!
I think I love the art as much as the story. Which is a hell of a lot.
2789899
Authors all have entered into special pacts with Satanthulu allowing them special powers to be unbelievably evil.
This power is generally expressed through plot twists, character deaths, and worst of all, cliffhangers.
2790003 It's a horrible thing to do!
Trust the Pink One. For She Will Lead the Way!
to where?
The HMS Twilestia, silly!
I knew I should have skipped this chapter *eyeroll*
It took me a bit to recognize your Dr. Who reference. Good one.
Cliffhangers!
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/danvs_skywardscream02_1809.png
The dread gazebo didn't stand a chance against Celestia.
2791665
Bwa ha ha!
That story's hilarious. Totally hilarious connection, too.
You know, I should probably be getting to my homework soon. ...It can wait another chapter.
"forwarded" should be "preceded".