• Member Since 20th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 26th, 2018

BBJBS


Comments ( 35 )

It's just a hooker, no one cares if a common street walking dies, the pimp can just capture another one.

I love how everything about this sounds like a crackfic and yet the tags indicate it's being played dead serious.

2659775 mmhm

2659911 My thumb speaks for itself on this one.

2660752 Thanks, although I was trying to get a serious tone. *shrugs* As long as I can get the parts that really matter the way they're supposed to be, though, it'll probably come out fine.

Y'know, I'm curious to see where this one goes. :pinkiesad2:

Poor Dash, she's not good at hiding things, is she? Y'know, aside from bodies, that is. :derpytongue2:

Good chapter!

Jeez, Dash. You know nothing of killing people. Dragging that body around has just spewed forensic evidence all over the place. You gotta take the body, and burn it, then take the teeth and ash and scatter it over the Everfree Forest. Then, after you've thoroughly cleaned and sanitized your floor, get some copper dust (or horseradish sauce) and coat your entire floor in the stuff to ward off the Luminol. The alibi's gonna the hardest part, but you're an upstanding citizen and Element bearer so just be honest and they won't suspect a thing. And for the love of Luna, don't let the guilt get to you. Ponies die all the time, it just so happens this one died in your house.

Of course, my genre savviness doesn't extend to magical forensics, so you might be screwed anyway and the attempts to cover it up only point to premeditation and the death penalty. Which reminds me, fanfics always give Equestria the most bucked up justice system, so don't get caught.

2691590 Disposal is... planned. And while I'm still not sure whether or not she gets busted, I do have plans for both eventualities. Which is weird, because I haven't even bothered mentally confirming she's the actual murderer. For all I and anyone else knows, Sombra's horn could've mind-controlled Scootaloo into doing it and framing her. Or any one of a trillion other possible insane theories. I encourage you to create your own. Or not. Your call. The only thing that will ever be known for certain, though, is that we will never know for certain what actually happened. Or maybe that was a lie, a witness comes forwards and states what happened, and Dash kills herself halfway through chapter three.

... anyways, I'm gonna get back to work now.

You killed a hooker, isn't it obvious?

I just can't see Twilight willing be up for covering this up even Rainbow is her friend. Twi is too much a law and order, Princess knows best type of person.

Phew, I thought when Twilight freaked out, Dash would panic and bludgeon her with a pipe or something and then the decent into full on [Grimdark] would start in earnest.

But yeah, Dash is bucked. Twilight'll squeal to Celestia the second she leaves. Murdering Twi's not an option either, 'cause Celestia and Luna would make finding the killer their top priority.

...Rainbow Dash managed to cry herself into a deep and dreamless sleep.

You better hope you keep on having dreamless sleep, 'cause if you start having nightmares, it's only a matter of time before a night princess gets involved.

2724722 Yeah... I actually have no idea how I'm going to deal with the dream-thingy. Maybe have Luna think of it as a fear or something... meh. I'll think of something.

Is twilight a alicorn or a unicorn here? You started with alicorn but for the rest you called her an unicorn (probably force of habit^^).

2725874 Whoops. I originially wrote this with the intention of Twilicorn, then changed it when I realized it not only wasn't necessary but would work better. I'll fix that ASAP. Thanks for pointing it out.

Good. Now when the inevitable detective/friend of the victim shows up looking for clues, you need to keep your heads on straight and draft a nice, calm, rational response to their inquiries that deflect blame without rising suspicions. Remember, you're both upstanding citizens that have solid reputations. There's no reason anypony would suspect you.

And try not to be driven insane by the guilt/nightmares. That usually results in blabbing to the cops.

o/~ A true true friend is a friend in deed, and will help you dispose of bodies o/~ :rainbowkiss:

I think it would be nice for A.J to find out somehow. Maybe a blood stain on the bottom of her house. That be a bit of a twist.

Plz. PLZZ. make dash have a nightmare and Luna find out or some pony find out. Make dash a fucking killer that slowly goes insane. ( with twilight of course). And take it from there. Yet your the author and I'm just throwing shit out there. PS. I'm confused. Is two a Ali or a uni corn?:)

2814459 Twilight's a unicorn.

Nice chapter. Also, I could be your proofreader.

It's alive! :pinkiegasp:
But yeah, awesome chapter, and I can't wait for the next one.

Ooohhhh, that's a good idea, Twilight. A shame Dash has to go and screw it up. Guilt dreams + "never wanting to forget" = Celestia weighing the importance of keeping the Elements intact verses dealing out justice.

And just for the record, Dash. Celestia's record for dishing out summery executions in murder cases is 3-0 in fanfics I've read.

Yes! It updated!
This was good, but nothing really happened - it just kind of left me wanting more. Oh well.
P.S. I don't know how desperate you are for a prereader, but I'd be happy to help. I haven't done it before, but I promise to give it my best shot. :twilightsmile:

3463890 I know, and I'm sorry. I was mostly hoping that, by getting this up I'd be able to force myself to get back to work. I don't know why, but getting something up helps me focus, I guess.

3464290
Well if it helps you write then that's great! Look forward to the next chapter.

We’re due ta get some raid today, right

A raid from what? The Royal Guard?

3464732 ... you win this round, spelling.

oh man this story is very old, i'd still love to see it completed!

i secretly want Dashie to turn herself in :)

Rereading this; just wanted to say that Twilight shouldn't have turned the blood into mist, rather evaporated the water out of it and then burned the residue along with the body. It would be fairly plausible for Twilight to know a desiccation spell, and then something to powder remains, which can then be burned very quickly and disposed of in the Everfree. Just know that turning blood into a mist would, uh, contaminate everything in smelling distance. I forget how quickly particulates can move through the air, but wet particulates would definitely stick to surfaces and soak in.

Or I'm thinking a bit too much about pony murder.

3464934

Didn't fix the raid.

Anyway, this looks pretty dead. Good luck with your life. :twilightsmile:

5929490 I'm going to try and revive it. Just plow through and get it freaking done, no matter how terrible it ends up being.

5939548 If I'm going to produce shit, then I should at least finish it. Nobody wants half a shit hanging out their asshole all day.

5942276

Fuck that. Either you give this story the attention and effort it deserves or you leave it the fuck alone.

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