Human in Equestria17,020 stories ·16,839 members
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Equestria is dying. A one in a lifetime quirk of astrological dimensional convergence has caused a unique fusion between Equestria and a world called Earth. With it will come the birth of a massive superplanet. But ponies will not survive the process. A proposal for the salvation of ponies has been put into effect. But can Equestrian society deal with the losses that come with salvation?
Only the Conversion Bureau holds the ultimate answer to that question.
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Hmm. I'm keeping an eye on this.
So far so good, I think.
So... a 'chapter one' prequel to Shogun Six?
2670856
Nope. I can understand why you might think that, but this story has no relation to what I guess I should now call the Shogunverse.
2670886
Fair enough. Thanks for clearing that up.
this wasn't really that good everything took place in a library that or I was just being
and not reading it that much.
2670917
It was only the first chapter. I'm hoping to have the second up soon.
Period before And.
I think combining these two sentences would look better.
Machines, plural. Things to match.
Combine these sentences and modify to add more for fluidity.
Because the non-magical nature of Earth created a kind of anti-magic field, any living creature who depended on that magical field for life could not pass. Worst still, it was spreading as more and more of Earth began to emerge and fuse with their world.
This has repetitive information from previous sentences. I suggest incorporating them as to not sound redundant. Also, remove the period after 'so long.'
Use this.
field—or as it had come to be called, the Fusion Field, or simply the Field—due...
Haha.
Honestly, its a bit of mess. As Fang points out, most of the story is tell, not show. I would suggest Twilight actually describing the mood of everypony, paint what's going on in the world.
Also, missed opportunity in making it a complete inverse of the Gammaverse.
Other than that, readable.
2670970
Believe it or not, never read Gammaverse.
2670976
Concept is pretty simple... choose the species you want to convert to.
To inverse that, lose total species identity to be... one whole species. This takes it to literally a very dark turn, probably worst than normal TCB. Extinction of humans, inverse that, extinction of ponies, zebras, diamond dogs, dragons, griffins, and others.
2671000
Heh. Actually, if you re-read it, you'll see that it's only the ponies who're having to deal with this. I figured if I'm gonna do the inverse of normal TCB, then it has to be done the way TCB did it. Dragons, zebras, griffons and the like don't need to be converted. Only humans. Thus, the reverse is true in Inversion.
2671005
I know, that's why I said 'missed' opportunities. Not really a bad thing, but you could have cranked this to Nightmare Fuel. xD
2671009
*snickers* Who says I won't? Trust me, this is only the beginning.
2671011
Okay, but you'll need to step up a bit. The concept is nice, but you have to work on when to put the info in, and how.
Wow just wow
This was really good. I mean you just reversed the whole concept and now it's just...I can't really put it into words. Normally I don't read TCB stories but this...this was the exception. Keep up the good work and I will definitely tell my friends to give you some support ^^.
2671050
Glad you liked.
*reads title and description"
Me gusta
2671009 2671011 They wasted a perfectly good plot!
2671134
Let's see how this plays out before we pull that trope out of our hats.
2671134
And besides, what makes you think that anyway?
A very interesting concept, I must admit. I do think I've seen something like this before, the reverse CB part at least, but this seems like it will be quite interesting nonetheless. It raises a lot of what if's, and it seems to be very organic. I like that, I really do.
Let us see where you can take this little project, shall we?
Also. Just noticed something. Your current stories now number from Chapter Four (Shogun Six) to Chapter One (This). It's an reverse order of numbers!
2671160 He has pretty much said: "Dragons, zebras, griffons and the like don't need to be converted." A dragon, turned into a human, can you say Blessed with suck? Loads of potential for that one.
2671169 See above.
2671191
I also explained why.
Also note I said they didn't NEED to be converted.
Who says someone else in the story might not decide they do?
2671191
Yeah... though honestly, I can see the dragons turning to Firebats.
2671207
Firebats? Really?
2671236
Fire it up!
2671240
What does the Crow have to do with this?
2671240 I see what you did there
STARCRAFT ANYONE!!!
Hm, this feels like the conversion bureau but just flipped on its head. Of course, I do have a feeling that this will be more than just that.
Though, the near-perpetual energy source sounds far too convenient to be true/believable. There's going to be a pretty big catch with that, isn't there?
2671309
Well I wish someone would explain it to me!
2671360
2671370 The firebat is a terran unit that uses a flamethrower to take down enemy units. This unit is best used against zerglings and when paired with the terran Marine units it can make for an effective one two punch when going up against zerg swarms.
wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft/images/8/8a/Firebat.png the firebatas seen from Starcraft
carlsguides.com/starcraft2/screenshots/terran/units/marine.gif The marine as seen from Starcraft 2
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071118224743/starcraft/images/thumb/e/ec/ZerglingSCIIsamwise.jpg/180px-ZerglingSCIIsamwise.jpg zergling concept artwork
2671421
Nice.
Changelings seems to be even more magic dependent life forms than ponies, given that they eat emotions.
How are they coping with having to change into something else permanently?
2671621
An interesting question. You'll have to read to find out.
>all these downvotes
Ass annihilation detected.
2671983
No prizes for guessing who it was.
2671983>>2672017
No but if you wanna share your guesses that would be fine. What did you think of the first chapter?
2672058
It's a very good inversion of the human predicament. Because ponies are soft and adorable, people on this site actually care about them. You lay down legitimate concerns they have, readers are like "yeah, that's correct", then BOOM that's exactly the problem humans have. Where is the concern over the humans whose culture is similarly obliterated?
2672086
That is part of the experiment I've been dealing with.
2672144
Experiment, huh?
Both make me feel uncomfortable, so there's that.
2672691
Both what?
2672697
Both humans turning into ponies and ponies turning into humans.
2672770
Ah
An inversion of the conversion!
Dr. Seuss, is that you?
Hmmm... Planet 3x larger? The gravity increase from the added mass is going to kill off a lot of species,wreck just about every building over a certain size, ground all flights, make it harder to get into space, and make the atmosphere denser at sea level.
In other words, almost everything dies.
And that's not even taking into account all the other arbitrary changes to force the story.
The Everfree being free of magic? Explain the magic pools, Timberwolves, Hearts Desire/Poison Joke, active weather generation over a forest, and so on. The place is magically charged if anything.
Or how in certain episodes, and especially the comic, they get hit by anti magic/counter magic fields, and survive, because they don't actually need magic to live, they just generate it.
...What about Dragons? They generate magic(Heck, part of their biology is magical growth spurts fueled by emotions!), so are they effected too?
And why is it that the magic field is still around enough to be able to power machines, which have much higher drainage levels, but not enough to power the ponies, since they apparently need it to live on now? Does the antimagic field discriminate?
And lastly... Why does Demon Eyes Laharl's post listing a bunch of grammatical fixes and suggestions have two downvotes? What kind of incompetent downvotes constructive criticism?
"She had come through with flying colors and had been positively giddy about it. She became a minor celebrity, and had moved to Philadelphia, where she had joined a small up and coming rock band. Turns out she played a mean electric guitar."
I see what you did there.
2674082 Someone has been down voting a lot of innocuos comments here. I don't think the actual content of the comment matters but just that they are trying to sabotage the whole section.
IN YOUR FACE PONIES!!!
I just can't stop the urge to say that.