Deathsia
Joined 7th Feb, 2012 ·
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Woot! its here!
Oh my god. Instant favorite. Cannot wait to start reading this.
Something tells me that Bab's parents put one plus one together, and realized how Granny fooled them into ending up with three.
Sweet! Loved the first one, now time to read #2! when i have time.. Add to read later.
OH FUCK YES, I HAVE BEEN WAITING.
I have been waiting forever!
Lets see how this one plays out!
I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/289/d/9/it_begins_by_angeomgwtfbbq-d4d1qc3.jpg
OK, few things...
1) Again, as with the last one--please get an editor.
2) Babs dad's name is Henry? Ponies aren't named Henry... :/ If you're not gonna have her parents as the Oranges, I would recommend giving them more fitting pony names--either obvious (maybe her parents have seed-ish names?) or maybe punny (like the Harshwinny character from Season 3).
3) This chapter feels a little rushed and sporadic, but sequels often feel that way at the start. Ah, well. Interested to see what Babs wants to tell Apple Bloom. I have a feeling the "OC" tag is for some colt that has a crush on her (or she has a crush on him), which'll make for some interesting dynamics.
Overall, upvoted and I'll be watching...
Is she running from home? Hope not
2701157 I'm more inclined to thinking Babs' parents found out the real deal of the relationship and she's running away.
2701408
Hmm. There's a good chance you're right, I think...
Looking forward to reading more. One chapter in, and I'm already hooked!
Hmmm, a sequel?
In that case, allow me to think of some random subtitles
Pen Pals 2: This Time It's Personal
Pen Pals 2: Electric Boogaloo
Pen Pals 2 THA MOOOOOOOON!!! BEE-YOTCH!
Pen Pals 2: Return of the Sexy Makeout Stuffs
I swear to celestia I am going to ram my foot up fimfictions ass for not notifying me when new stories are posted by folks i follow.
interesting start so far. I'm willing to bet the next few chapters are going to have a lot of tension when they find out babs parents finally learned what kissin cousins are and try and stop her from seeing bloom, really hoping to see some interaction with diamond too. even if not them with her at least maybe a POV from her and her side of this all.
2706998
I think Knighty may have an issue with that:P
2701157 Just want to point out, there is that one donut pony whose name is Joe. I think ponies can have human names, it's just uncommon.
2707378
You're right! I forgot about him!
2707733 Not to mention in Becoming Popular, Rarity says she's "not just another Jane Doe", which is a term for an average person, and Jane Doe is another normal human name.
Not to mention they've used French (and Yiddish at one point) before.
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And that is all
i can already tell this is gonna end badly
2709886
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4943-131224.png
2709968
i'm really hoping for a mission impossible style train ride or mission into the Filthy Rich house.
*hint hint*
oh! and i think the shit is really gonna hit the fan. HARD!
And here...we...go!
Apple Bloom is surrounded by crazy ponies.
2710018
images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/30600000/The-Joker-the-joker-30677836-1527-805.jpg
Joker: That's my line!
I'm still really enjoying reading this, but I confess I miss the slow build-up of the first story. It feels like the story is being shoved along faster than it needs to be.
Why not slow down a tad? Have some kind of reunion tryst between Apple Bloom and Babs? More conversation and character development?
It's fine; don't get me wrong. Still one of the best stories on this site. Can't wait for the next chapter!
2710143
Heh, actually the plot's not being shoved too fast at all. The real story begins with the following chapters.
These two chapters were to simply put the characters in place to begin the story.
2710141
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/008/4/7/Wallpaper_Batman_1920x1080_by_renatofraccari.jpg
Batman: You say something?
2710203
randomoverload.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/53f5funny-Batman-Joker-parents-joke.jpg
2710166
Ah! Sneaky sneaky!
Applebloom needn't worry about convincing the conductor to let them on the train. I'm sure Silver can 'convince' him to do anything.
2710226
Well played, have some cookies
yadkinvalleycookies.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/cookie_mini_apple_and_bloom.104101712_std.jpg
Advanced plot....check
Mission...check
5 fillies going into town without any parental vision what-so ever...check
Ok ya got the green light to launch!
Eeyup, looks like Babs ran away from home. And either stole from her parents or connived them into giving her a ton of bits.
Five fillies loose in Fillydelphia?
This is gonna be interesting! 
2707340
then I'll just have to slap em with a wet tuna >.>
I'm sure they are trying to fix that but OMG its annoying. I really wish the tards at IB would get there heads out there ass and let you back. I miss being able to respond sooner then once every week.
hmmm weekend assuming its 2 days (saturday sunday) I wonder just how they are going to do it unknown? I mean shouldn't they think of a lie to keep the elders from wondering where they are the weekend? and as much as i want them to get to fillydelphia i have to say this to the conductor. WTF 5 filly's boarding a train alone at midnight are you insane dude? ^^ yeah i'd seriously rip em a new one if that was my foal. but now I am wondering whats going to go wrong. I know you and how you write you give us those aww and daw moments but you always have that part where we are left worried and screaming in frustration as our hero's are facing impossible odds, and so i am wonder just what wrench your going to toss into the gear here. and also are you going to add a love interest for babs besides bloom (if so don't answer just me thinking out loud). congrats deathsia you once again got me on the edge of the seat. I look forward to what comes next.
Well I can see this going extremely badly, it'd be a lot easier getting Diamond to Ponyville, say with a letter that someone important is dying.
Loving it...
If you need an extra proofreader let me know, I'd be honored to help....
Another excellent installment. Very enjoyable!
I wonder what'll happen to those three next!
This plan keeps getting worse and worse.
you know,if somepony does try to mug them while they're in the city,they can always say "well,I didn't expect the Spanish inquisition...."
what comes after that tends to cause quite a bit of confusion...
this chapter felt kind of slow.
sorry
So...Babs just lost everything in her saddlebag, all her bits, and Silver Spoon lost her necklace...and they didn't do anything about it?
Also, Swift Hooves and that place seems sorta sketch. This should be interesting.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease have these chapters edited before you post them...
2714781
Could you do anything is a Pegasus swiped your stuff mid-air and no unicorns or Pegasus were present?
Also in regards to getting the chapters prof read before I post em, I would but the wait time on average is 2 to three days for the proof read version and I'm not only impatient as fuck, I also tend to write chapters daily when a write a fic and don't like having one sitting around when I've finished the next. It's kind of like trying to boot up a PC without sticking any kind of graphics card in it, it'll run but you can't see anything. now the point of this metaphor is this: No one is going to boot a PC without sticking a graphics card in it, so why write a fic and not post the chapter once it's finished?
2716854
No, you couldn't, but I would think you would futilely run after them anyway, or at least complain about it for more than a sentence or two.
Well...personally, if I was having that problem, I would get another editor. I'm sure at least one of your followers would be happy to proofread; several have already offered to do so in the comments section. You have a pretty good story--I enjoyed the last one, grammar and formatting aside--but the mistakes bog it down. That's just my opinion, and you're free to do what you will. I'll still read.
2718504
Hey I'm not going to look a gift-horse in the the mouth. this guy has been doing an awesome job so far.
2718822
Fair enough.