My papa is celebrating his birthday! I CAN'T WAIT! I've got my saddlebag all packed and ready to go! I've got a LONG hike ahead of me! Twily was confused why I wanted to go alone and by hoof. That silly little pony! I told her that 1.) My family's house isn't big enough!..and my sis is very, very shy around new ponies (like Fluttershy!) and 2.) I know that trail like it's the left side of my cutie mark! Twilight should have nothing to worry about!
This was the first entry of Pinkamena Diane Pie's travel journal. It was recovered by the Royal Equestrian Air Force after it was found 10 meters down an obscure hole on an unmarked trail.
Inside is a first-hoof account of her struggle to survive the 5 days without any food or company.
Narrative told in both first-person (Pinkie Pie's journal in italics) and third-person.
Inspired by 127 Hours, Into the Wild, and personal experiences.
Rated Teen for strong language and disturbing scenes.
Oh, Jesus. How long did it take you to think of that one?
In Ponyville.
I'd listen to that radio show all the time.
Spike, take a letter.
Dear Princess Celestia,
It is all my fault that one of my friends (Pinkie Pie) is probably stuck down a mineshaft for the past two days as of this notice. Please have Luna search for her dreams and send as many royal guards as possible to comb the area between her rock farm and Ponyville. They won't officially start searching until 24 hours from now and I should have reported this 36 ago.
Your Distraught Student
Twilight Sparkle.
Don't put the disclaimer in grey. It's hard to read (unless that's the point).
Okay Fluttershy, it is time to call in a few favors. Every critter in the forest needs to form a huge search party.
If Pinkie is found dead after diarch inaction, the diarchs would have to be very relieved that the weapon that is the potential of the elements would be unworkable for the mane 5.
Thumbs down for not using Inky and Blinky and instead using those dumb "canon" namesYou've really got Pinkie's character nailed down fantastically. She's spastic, but not unintelligent, and the quips she makes are very Pinkie Pie. One of the closest portrayals in fanfic I've seen for a while.
...
Though Starscream's more like Trixie when you think about it...
Spike: Voice of logic and reason since the pilot of Season 1 ( Spike at your Service never existed)
oh Pinkie my heart is pumping just knowing this will not end well.
Not your fault Pinkie......
PLEASE DONT CRY PINKIE!!!!! WE LOVE U TOO MUCH DONT GO!!
ps
CELESTIA you better get of yur cake eating ass and go and help find pinkie or so help me i will personally come up there and blast you r fucking royalness to the moon where you can die!!!
loving this story so far keep it up!
P.S poor pinkie
Please update faster. This is fantastic! Im kind of mad at Twilight for just laying own and giving up at the fist sign of resistance.
COME ON! GET YOURSELF TOGETHER! 
Fuuuuuuuu! Damn you cliffhanger! Damn you to the deepest pits of pony hell!
OK, that's enough OOC for me, I'm out.
Spike: Meh I'm used to being ignored anyway.
DON"T LET HER DIE!
No tragedy tag! So this will end well, right?
...
Right?
...
What? Nothing for Spike?
She forgot to ask that they start looking for a replacement for the Element of Laughter IMMEDIATELY.
I almost cryed
almost
God, this story deserves more attention.
The story still says "incomplete."
It's not over yet.
Yes, yes! This... is...DELICIOUS!
...Alright, Spike. You're officially a badass motherfucker.
I'm sorry, but no.
The story does not flow well at all, and no action left any impact on me as a reader.
Further, I felt that Pinkie's character was misrepresented, while she is eccentric and kooky, I feel that you used too much of a creative vocabulary.
Additionally I don't think Pinkie has ever called Twilight 'Twily'.
And finally, I didn't get a feel for Twilight or Rainbow as characters, and resultantly, they felt more like setpieces rather than actual thinking people.
3007522
I am also sorry, but I have to disagree with you. But, I also want to acknowledge that you do have a point.
(Warning: Wall of text. This will serve not only as a response to your comment but also as a complete dissection of my story. Don't take it personally. I just want to put this out for you and for anybody else and move on to my other stories.)
Does the story have somewhat of an awkward flow? Perhaps. Is there a lack of action? Yes, probably. Are some of the characters off-putting? Maybe.
But I did not intend for this story to be read as a character driven or an action driven story.
Initially this story was going to just be a survival story. The problem was I didn't know how to make Pinkie Pie's predicament exciting (falling down a hole), and I sure wasn't just going to recreate the events of Into the Wild. Then it shifted to something around the lines of survival-based character-driven story, similar to 127 Hours, but the problem was that the story became almost near-identical to the movie, and I wasn't gonna try and be the next Danny Boyle (as genius and inspiring as he may be).
But the story idea remained and I wanted to put it on paper. So I decided to try (notice how I say try) something a bit different. I decided on creating a survival-based character-reaction-driven story. In other words, my main focus of this story wasn't so much about the characters but rather how the characters reacted to a particular situation.
You can make an argument around the lines of "Well, I know that Pinkie/Twilight/Rainbow would never react like that," and you'd probably make a good case out of it. But the truth of the matter, and I realized this halfway through writing the first draft of the story, is that we really don't know how people/ponies will react to certain things. We can imagine how they would react to something, given from the knowledge we have of that person or character, but we are not them. We don't live inside their minds, see what they see, or fear what they secretly fear.
I kept on asking myself "How would they react to this," over and over again, and I couldn't find myself at a single conclusion. "She could've reacted this based on this occasion, but that would contradict how she reacted at this occasion." I had to keep settling down on one of the many reactions I thought of and move on with the story.
So the choices I made for each of the characters' reactions were deliberate, whether or not you may agree with them, and that's what drove my story. Pinkie's fate was decided by a chain reaction of reactions, like a Rube Goldberg contraption.
Could Pinkie have been found earlier? Probably, had Twilight reacted sooner to her disappearance. But she didn't react that way. Did Rainbow really need to yell at Twilight? Probably not, she could've been a bit more reasoning and the whole ordeal could've been over. But she still yelled at her.
Were Pinkie Pie's reactions for the five days she spent in the hole realistic? I dunno. If that's the big complaint that people bring up and expect an honest answer, that's it. I really don't know because I've never been in that situation. I've heard stories of people in that same type of predicament, but they are not cartoon ponies. It's like I don't know Pinkie Pie's character (it's hard to miss). But I mean, how would you or I or Pinkie or anybody else who read this story really react if they had to try to survive five days down a hole not knowing when you'd be rescued? I don't know. We don't know. And I certainly did not, in honesty, know how that pink pony would react.
But I decided to give it a shot. Because fuck it, it's a pony fanfiction.
So, I ended up basing Pinkie's reaction process with the Kübler-Ross model, or more commonly known at the 5 Stages of Grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Sadness, and Acceptance). With a character as unpredictable as Pinkie Pie, I did have to resort to something that was a bit more predictable and easier to work with. I thought I made this decision clear throughout the chapters (denial in Day 1, anger in Day 2, sadness in Day 3, etc.) but if you, or anybody else who read this, did not pick up on it that is the reason why she reacted like that in her journal entries.
I think that about covers my story. (Shit, that was like writing a positive review for Only God Forgives.)
If something above is a big "no-no" to you, and you wish to point it out for me, I will read through it and will try to look at it from you perspective. But I will not argue with you further over a My Little Pony fanfiction, as good or bad as either of us might look at it. Overall, it boils down to different opinions. I have my own opinion on the story, you have your own opinion on the story, and everyone else has their own opinions on this story. That's that. Hell, this mindset doesn't even have to apply to my story. I read one of the featured stories last week and I thought it was a piece of shit! But I respected the author's intentions, held my tongue, and kept my opinion down. There was nothing wrong with the story for the average reader, it was just the fact that I did not like it. (What story was it? Let's just say I'm not very fond of clopfics...)
So, to wrap it up (fuck! look at that wall of text!) I understand your complaints towards my story, and although I disagree with them I am not going to hold it against you or criticize you for having a different opinion than mine. I respect you, all of you, for having a different opinion and I hope you can respect (not necessarily agree with) my own opinions.
I hope that clears everything up.
Here's a video of a corgi rolling down some stairs.
3008581 Just so we're clear, I would like to make sure it's known that I only read Day 0.
Other than that, thank you for being understanding and reasonable, it's good to know that the internet doesn't bring out the worst in everyone all the time.
3008616
You are very much welcome!
I'd like to apologize for not realizing that you only read one chapter of the story, but would also humbly ask if you would read at least one or two more chapters. The actual story comes in at that point as well as what I discussed in my previous comment.
If your opinions change, that's cool, but if not, like I said, I'm not gonna hold it against you. All I ask is for you to look into this story a little more.
Other than that, thank you for reacting to my comment calmly and respectfully. I always appreciate and admire good manners and intellect on the internet.
(P.S. I'm still gonna keep that monster wall of text! It'll serve as a handy tool in explaining some things to people who read the story. Also, because of the corgi.)
3008766
te non esse sapientem.
ENLIGHTEN ME! 
please.
In the name of all that is holy and good, what does this mean? I have been looking for the definition for hours and it still escapes me.
3010032
i.imgur.com/CsiRfzF.png
3010133
Well...
If you dont mind I think I'll go stick my head in a hole somewhere and bury myself.
Great story BTW
3010146
Thanks!
And don't beat yourself up about it. Not everyone knows Latin. Not even me!
(Fuck yeah, Google translate!)
Huh, that was a good read.
Spike seemed a little too mature most of the story's time, but it went well with the dark grittiness of the whole thing. Also, I strongly object to these contrived superstorms, but I have to admit that the feels and tension they brought was well worth it.
I shall favorite this like a sir!
3010133
How would Spike know Latin in the first place?
3008766
I'm going to have to agree with Jioplip here on a few points. Unlike they, however...I have read the full story from start to finish. Here's going to be my constructive criticism.
For starters: I won't agree with Jioplip's interpretation of Pinkie entirely. During most of the story, she seems to hold true to what we've come to expect of her. Crazy-happy. Party Loving. Pink ball of pony energy Pinkie. However, during her crazy time, she goes just a bit too far off the deep end to be believable to me. We all saw how deeply she was affected in Party of One, and while yes; she did give life and personality to inanimate objects, she never truly lost sight of what was really going on around her. She was still coherent to a point that this story overstepped. Kudos for pushing boundaries where few tread...but it might've been handled with a bit more subtlety instead of using a sledgehammer on a plate glass window.
Next: Rainbow and Twilight. The most obviously glaring flaw in this story is their characterization. Rainbow is no doubt the gung-ho, in your face, ready to rock pegasus you've depicted here. She does have a short fuse when danger involves her friends. But would she truly take it to the limit to basically defy her element and unjustly shift all the blame on Twilight? There could've been any number of reasons that Pinkie didn't come back when she said she would; a few of which being addressed early on.
And then we have Twilight practically curling up into herself at Rainbow's admonishment instead of buckling down and solving the problem at hand. Twilight wouldn't be one to just sit around while her friends are in danger. Sure, she might initially pass everything off logically the way she did (kudos once again for keeping her in character up to that point)...but I find it desperately hard to believe that she would fake an illness just to prevent herself from facing down the guilt of the possibility that she indeed was the cause of Pinkie's rescue taking so long. Her train of thought would only go so far before forcing her, like the obsessive compulsive book-nerd we all love, to find a solution to the problem.
Another thing I have difficulty believing is that there is such unchecked weather running wild across Equestria. There was never any hint given by Rainbow, who's supposed to be a weather pony, that any of this weather was scheduled...or could be put on hold temporarily for a Royal Search Party to find what could be considered one of Equestria's national treasures in pony form. I can suspend my disbelief a great deal, given Pinkie's typical antics and the show in general; but this takes the cake. The only way this could be remotely believable is if you mentioned that these storms were coming up out of the Everfree Forest and while weather teams were working on dissipating them; they'd be having a hard time due to the nature of the weather that forms there.
Lastly we come to my final major gripe of this story.
Language.
I understand that sometimes, strong language can be a very good way to motivate people and produce a certain atmosphere within a work of fiction. But you've gotta remember: you're writing for ponies here. There is very little in the way for making me believe that full grown ponies, let alone a baby dragon (emphasis on baby, no matter how old some might guess he is) would be using such foul-mouthed terminology. Don't get me wrong; I like the stereotypical cussin' badass as much as the next guy (and Spike is indeed VERY badass in this fic...if a bit overly so in some points). But human swear words in a story about candy-colored fun loving friendship toting ponies...just pushes the envelope. If you were going to insist on it, the least you could have done was ponified it like many other have done. I will admit it definitely added to the dark and dirty nature of the tale...but it was overkill. You could've easily gotten away with pony swears and still kept the same atmosphere the story had all along...and made it feel more real.
All in all, I would still definitely read this again and it's going on my favorites list. But the above aside, and obvious spelling/grammar mistakes in some places make this less of a story than it could have been. Without the FimFic star rating anymore, I'd have to settle on my own rating of 3/5. Not bad, but definitely needs work.
For now; I hope I haven't been too harsh in my criticism. I did genuinely enjoy the story. I just found one too many things out of place. So before I continue this wall-o-text any further, I'll just be on my way, and wish you a great day.
Thanks for the read.
~DreamWeaver~
2878399
It is Pinkie's fault, she is my best pony and all, but calling it like I see it.
This should be a movie...
New respect for Spike.
3029930
He lives in a flipping library for one... Obviously there was some sort of Roman period because there was a Midieval Era (the three tribes) so that meas Latin is a language.
This is a great fan fiction. 8/10
4000605
Medieval period does not mean Latin necessarily. Equestrian medieval could be quite different.
4003264 Before the Medieval Era there was Rome, plus the traditional armor of the Pegasus, was Roman.
Ive got a bad feeling.
You should read the mlp comic "friends forever issue three". It actually gives something of an explanation for why celestia never helps.
Although I about in this specific situation it wouldn't really make sense.