Big Mac ends up in a unfamiliar resturant with a certain item that catches his eye... .
Im just your average brony who just so happens to be a writer and quite creative
Big Mac ends up in a unfamiliar resturant with a certain item that catches his eye... .
... Hmm.
Not to rain on your parade, but it seems kind of... Meh. Like, the premise is good, and the story isn't bad, but... There's just a whole lot of room for comedy. This is a common thing that writers run into when they realize that writing comedy can be (in my opinion) possibly one of the harder things to write.
So, my advice? Try and just be silly with it. Don't worry too much about it making sense, or if the characters are too unrealistic, because it's a comedy story; it's not supposed to be serious nor taken seriously. Just relax, and let it flow; no need to overthink it.
So, that's my review. The story is fine, but it has tons of room for improvement.
Oh my APPLEJACK AND BIG MAC ARE OMNIVORES!
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It shall never be the same again! LOL.
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Thank you for the feedback!
The reason it might be a little less funny than it should be is that I had to add a lot more
to the story than I wanted to because of the 1,000 words rule, but I'm not saying that there's
nothing wrong with it. It indeed has lots of room for improvement, it kinda was like a test run .
Anyways I did have the intention on making it more comedic, but you know, a story is a story right?
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3056152 That expression belongs on Granny Smith. Not on a baby dragon.
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dufuq
I love so this story was made 20% cooler just by having him there, I had thought about the concept of AJ or Big Mac trying meat before, and this is actually one of the better ones I've seen so foar
great job