Sweetie Belle Discovers Scissoring
Rarity leaned forward, the steam from her teacup tickling her coat. “Oh, come on, Twilight, darling, you simply must try it!”
Twilight Sparkle shook her head while taking a sip of her own tea. The Earl Neigh burned lightly as it went down her throat, but t was not scalding; Rarity always made tea just right.
Rarity rested her cheek on a forehoof and huffed slightly through flared nostrils. “I don't see why not. At first, I was reluctant, but Pinkie Pie—”
“How many ciders did that take?”
Rarity would have blanched if her hide was not already white. “I'll have you know I had nothing to drink that night!” she said, recoiling with wide eyes. “We merely shared a quiet night—” Twilight giggled “—quiet for Pinkie, anyway, over a few glasses of her berry punch.”
“Her... special berry punch?” Twilight's wings snapped open, and the blue drapes to her right stirred from the breeze. “Her super special, secret berry punch?”
Rarity nodded almost mechanically. She fidgeted her forehooves as she held her teacup beside her, but did not take a sip.
“I thought so.” Twilight took another sip, nodding sagely. “You do realize there's something in there besides fruit juice and sugar, right?”
Rarity's teacup nearly hit the table, but she managed to guide back to its saucer without spilling a drop. “She... she wouldn't!”
Twilight blew upward, rustling the front of her mane. “She did.”
“Oh, I should have known!” Rarity wailed, leaning melodramatically back in her chair. “Pinkie... took advantage of me!” Her limbs spasmed rigidly. “How dare she? I was so innocent, so vulnerable, so naive, like a delicate spring flower! I... I...”
Twilight gestured a forehoof toward Rarity in a circling motion. “Enjoyed it?”
“Yes...” Rarity's shoulders sagged. “But she seemed just so endearing and convincing. How could I refuse?”
Twilight's wings folded, then ruffled. She took another sip. “It's Pinkie Pie.”
Rarity slumped in a most unladylike manner. “I suppose you're right.”
A pregnant pause filled the air, with only Twilight and Rarity's barely audible slurps of steadily cooling tea breaking the silence.
“So... about my proposal,” Rarity said some minutes later.
“I said no.” Twilight's teacup clinked as she set it down. “I'm not into that kind of stuff, all right? I'm flattered that you offered, but—”
“You never know until you give it a try.” Rarity bit her lower lip. “I... I just wanted to... scissor with you, just once.” She put on her best pouty face, an expression normally reserved for the more dire of situations. “Please?”
The chair beneath Twilight's flank scraped on the floor as she stood up. “I'm sure you'd make a great partner for scissoring, but I'm just not that kind of filly. Why don't you ask Rainbow Dash? I'm sure she'd love to give it a try, if she hasn't done it a lot already.”
Rarity blinked. “You're kidding, right? Have you seen her house? I lost count of the number of Soarin posters I had to sift through when I helped her redecorate last autumn.”
Twilight clapped a forehoof on Rarity's shoulder. “I'm sure you'll find somepony else in no time.” She closed her eyes and gave her a sweet smile. “Now I really must be going. I've got a whole hoof-full of friendship reports to write up.”
“Darling, you could write a report on scissoring!”
“For the last time, no!” Twilight said before teleporting outside of the Carousel Boutique's kitchen and taking off in the direction of Golden Oaks Library.
Rarity's ears drooped. “But... oh, now who will I scissor with? Perhaps I'll have to see if Pinkie's busy tonight...”
“Did somepony say 'scissoring'?” Pinkie burst forth from the cupboard under the sink. “Sounds like fun!”
Sweetie Belle, who stood behind the closed kitchen door with her ear pressed up against it, scratched her muzzle. “Why would Rarity be so worked up over this? It must be really fun.” She sprang into the air. “I know! I can get my cutie mark in scissoring, and I know just the pony who can help!”
* * *
Sweetie galloped toward Sweet Apple Acres at full tilt, her mane flapping in the wind.
It did not take her long to reach the farm, where she soon saw Applejack hauling buckets containing myriads of apples into the barn. Applejack mopped her brow with her hat when she spotted Sweetie. “Howdy, Sweetie Belle! What can I do ya for?”
“Is Apple Bloom home? I just got this great idea for us to get our cutie marks!” Unable to contain her excitement, Sweetie hopped up and down, and her eyes darted everywhere in search of her friend.
Applejack chuckled and gently placed a forehoof on Sweetie's head in hopes of stopping her bouncing. “Settle down there, partner. AB's workin' the fields with Big Mac until just past lunch time.” She grinned down at the hyperactive Sweetie. “So, if ya don't mind me asking, what's the big idea for them cutie marks of yours this time?”
Smiling proudly, Sweetie puffed out her chest and held a forehoof into the air. “Scissoring!” she proclaimed.
Applejack's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. “Say what?”
“Scissoring.”
“I heard you the first time!” Applejack stomped the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust. “What are ya doin', thinkin' about that sorta thing at yer age? Rarity will know about this before sundown, mark my words!”
Unsure of what she did wrong, Sweetie traced a forehoof on the ground. “Um, actually, she gave me the idea...”
Applejack recoiled so violently that her hat flew into the air. “Yer own sister? What in tarnation?” She stood there for several seconds, her face quivering and her chest heaving. “All right. I ain't no mother or sister of yours, but you need to leave and go to yer room until you've thought long and hard about this. No sister of mine's gonna be scissoring until long after she's gotten her cutie mark! Go on! Scat!”
Bewildered, Sweetie shuffled backward until Applejack had returned to her chores, and then she trudged toward Rainbow Dash's house.
* * *
“Rainbow! Rainbow Dash! Hey, Rainbow Dash, are you up there?” Sweetie looked up at Rainbow's cloud house. There was no answer. Just as she turned to leave, she heard a familiar squeaky voice call, “Hey, kid!” She looked up and saw Rainbow circling above her.
Rainbow touched down in front of her. “What's up?”
“Applejack yelled at me.” Sweetie's ears wilted like flowers that had gone too long without water.
“How come?” Rainbow arched an eyebrow and flared her wings. “That's not like her.”
“Well, maybe you could help me.” Sweetie looked into Rainbow's eyes with hope. “Twilight did mention you when she was talking about this...”
Rainbow pointed to herself. “Well, I am awesome! So, what is it? Ball bouncing? Athletic training? Being the coolest pony in Equestria?”
Sweetie cleared her throat. “Actually, it's scissoring.” (Rainbow froze.) “I overheard Rarity talking about how great it was, so I wanted to try it out. Maybe I could get my cutie mark in scissoring along with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.”
Rainbow chuckled and patted Sweetie on the head. “Believe it or not, that stuff ain't for me. And it ain't for you, either.” She ruffled Sweetie's mane, but Sweetie did not mind the noogie. “At least, not yet. Maybe when you're older.”
“But why do I have to wait? Why can't I start scissoring now?”
Rainbow shook her head. “Look, kid, I think I'm the wrong pony to ask about this sort of thing.”
“Maybe I should just ask Rarity if she would scissor with me. It sounds like it could be a lot of fun for us to do.” Sweetie grinned “Yeah! Fun sister activities!”
“'Fun sister activities'? F-fun... sister...” Rainbow's jaw dropped. “Oh, would you look at that! I've got tons of weather things to do. You know, skies to clear, clouds to kick!” She chuckled uneasily before taking off into the cloudless sky.
A lump formed in Sweetie's throat. “Why is it so hard to get anypony to talk about this?” She stormed off toward the Carousel Boutique. “I guess I'll have to scissor by myself...”
* * *
Sweetie crept through Rarity's room, taking care to make as little noise as possible. Rarity's eye cover would guarantee she would not be spotted, but her sister could be a light sleeper on occasion. Now where does she keep that key? Sweetie thought as she used her horn to illuminate the room as brightly as she dared.
She knew Rarity always kept her store room key close at hoof in case inspiration struck in the middle of the night. Sweetie perused her left dresser, finding a few hornament magazines atop it. When she looked in the drawers, she only saw a few odd cylindrical objects of varying size, shape, and colour.
Sweetie turned her attention to the right dresser, checking the drawers first. Both were full of used and unused sheets of paper and dozens of pencils. It must be here. She dug through a large stack of Fleur's Secret catalogues before she found what she had come for. Stifling a gleeful shout, Sweetie snatched the key and struggled to keep her pace measured as she reached the door. When she closed it behind her, a few magazines toppled softly onto their owner.
* * *
Sweetie cantered toward the store room, clutching the key in her mouth. When she arrived, it took only a few moments of fiddling before the door swung open soundlessly. Her horn's glow shed light on neatly stacked boxes, sorted by fabric type and colour. She briefly scanned the room, searching for the fabric that would probably feel the best. Settling on silk, she slid the top off a case of hot pink fabric.
A long sheet floated toward Sweetie at her command, coming to rest just in front of her forehooves. “Now, where are they?” She turned her attention to a heavy set of drawers on the wall, opening each one and peering inside. In the third one, she found what she sought. “Ah ha!” Sweetie's forehoof clutched a long pair of scissors. She brandished them at the fabric, snipping at the air experimentally. “Now to see what all the fuss is about.”
The first cut Sweetie made was hesitant, almost shy. It felt just like it always had when Rarity asked her to help cut material when she had large dress orders, except she felt a little guilty doing it without permission at midnight. “Maybe I'm doing it wrong.”
Sweetie made more cuts, going faster this time. She looked at her flank. “Aww, still blank. What if...?” She began shredding the silk with reckless abandon, shearing off sections big and small, in the most erratic manner she could. “This is kinda fun...”
Before long, the room looked as if Opalesence had been trapped inside for a week and decided to vent her frustration on some of Rarity's finest salmon-coloured silk. Sweetie took a moment to survey the destruction she had wrought. “Still nothing. Why's scissoring such a hot topic, then?” She looked at the other boxes of stored fabric. “I guess I need to try it with different kinds?”
Sweetie had scarcely opened a case of cyan-coloured minky when the last voice that she wanted to hear in Equestria came bellowing from behind her.
“VANDALS!”
The scissors flew from Sweetie's grasp and impaled themselves in the floor as she leapt high into the air. “Rarity! Rarity! It's me!”
Rarity blinked, staring first at Sweetie, then the scissors, and then the ruined silk strewn about the place. “What happened, darling? Where's the vandal? Did you get him?”
“Um... Rarity?” Sweetie could not meet her sister's gaze. “It was me. I did it.”
“You did it?” Rarity clapped her forehooves to her muzzle. “But why?”
“Because... I heard you and Twilight talking about scissoring yesterday, and I wanted to try it.”
Beads of sweat appeared on Rarity's face, which went a brilliant shade of magenta. “Y-you heard that?” Sweetie nodded. “Oh... oh dear.” She slumped backward, putting all her weight on her haunches. “Scissoring does not mean to cut, dear... It means... it means...”
Sweetie leaned forward. “What? What does it mean?”
More blood rushed to Rarity's cheeks. “How do I put this? It means—”
“I'd love to tell you, but it's a secret!” came Pinkie's chirpy voice from behind them.
Rarity bolted upright. “Pinkie!”
Pinkie hopped between Rarity and Sweetie. “What? We did arrange for another scissoring party, right? Well, I checked my super duper partyrific watch, and whaddya know? It said it's party time!”
“Pinkie, dear, that thing always says it's party time.” Rarity's head drooped.
Pinkie giggled. “I know! That's why it's so super duper!”
Sweetie raised a hoof. “So... wait a minute, you only do it with ponies you really like, right?”
Pinkie winked. “You betcha! It's a fun game for us older mares only! Don't worry! I promise it'll be one of the super fun games at your graduation party!”
“But that's years away!”
Rarity rested a hoof on Sweetie's shoulder. “The wait will be worth it, dear. It's something mares do with other mares when they have a special connection.”
“Ooh! Ooh!” Sweetie hugged Rarity and nuzzled against her chest. “So I can scissor with you when I'm all grown up!”
Rarity went rigid as a board. “W-what?”
Not noticing her sister's change in posture, Sweetie nodded emphatically. “When I'm a grown up mare, I'll scissor with you, and it'll be super special, and—”
Rarity nudged Sweetie away. “No, darling, you don't do it with family.”
“But... but you said it had to be with special someponies.” Sweetie pouted with uncanny similarity to her big sister.
“Yes, but not family.” Rarity shook her head and made a cutting motion with a forehoof. “The Apples, on the other hoof, may think differently, but that is not the norm.”
Sweetie perked up. “Oh, I know! I'll just ask Scootaloo!”
“Great idea!” Pinkie nodded. “I'm sure Dashie will give her a few pointers once she's old enough.”
Rarity arched an eyebrow. “With all those Soarin posters?” Her hooves shuffled on the ground as she tried to hold back a gale of laughter. “Pinkie, darling, you just have no idea...”
“You do know her walls are clouds, right?” Pinkie spoke through her forehooves, which stifled merriment of her own. “She has stuff in her walls, too. Big, neat stuff that fits perfectly in her walls...”
“Are... are we talking about her pastimes or her interior decoration?”
Pinkie shrugged. “I dunno. I think she spends a lot of time decorating her interior, especially with ponies like you. Doesn't make a lot of difference.” She winked at Rarity.
During this exchange, Sweetie had sat down, scratching her head. “I don't get it.”
Pinkie hopped around Rarity and Sweetie on her seemingly spring-loaded hooves. “Wait till you're older. If you're anything like Rarity, you'll get it in a few years. A lot of it.”
“Pinkie!”
Sweetie leapt into the air, flailing her forelegs. “You guys!” The two mares stared at her in silence. “You still haven't told me what scissoring is! What's the big secret?”
“Oh.” Pinkie leaned forward until her muzzle was up against Sweetie's ear. “It's...” She whispered a vivid and detailed description of scissoring to her.
Sweetie's jaw dropped lower and lower as Pinkie explained. When Pinkie had finished, Sweetie scampered backward and yelled, “EWWW!” Before Rarity could comfort her, Sweetie bolted past her, screaming at the top of her lungs.
Rarity rubbed her temples. “Pinkie?”
“Yes?”
“You know that special punch of yours?”
“Yeah?”
Rarity took a deep breath. “I'm going to have to round her up and calm her down. After this is over, I think I'll need a nice, big cup.”
“Okie dokie!”
Something shattered somewhere in the Boutique. It sounded expensive. Rarity winced. “On second thought, make that three.”
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3031983
Please explain to me how I'm trolling anybody. This is simply a silly story I wrote for fun. I don't see anywhere in the tags, story, or description how this is a trollfic.
3032023 Forgive me. I'm caffeinated and I'm a mean bastard during the withdrawal (though that's no sufficient apology/explanation for my actions)
3031983 As much as I like your stories, I disagree with this statement of yours.
3032032 lol, I get like that when I get hungry, or overtired.
3032032
That's all right. Clicking or unclicking follow is just the push of a button, and I can see how it might be a kneejerk reaction at first glance.
Darn it, I was going to upload a story of my own tonight. There goes the featured box.
That's the cleanest filth I've ever read. Thumbs up in my books
Very vivid description. The horror. Everypony gets scared by the batcave once In a while. Lol the apples on the other hoof.
The picture you used is a perfect representation of my face when I read that title, let alone the DESCRIPTION.
Hilarious.
OMFG!!!
This was fucking PRICELESS!!!!!
This was fucking bad.In a good way of coarse
This was fantastic. I had a huge shit-eating grin the whole way through.
I lost.
You really do excel in that space between comedy and smut.
This was perfect
. A few grammatical errors but those are easily forgiven.
It's short, cute and the final exchange has some really funny lines. Even a few I did not see coming
.
Oh sweet mother of Celestia.....
Scissor me timbers!
Silver out!
You have no idea how hard I was laughing.
Fucking priceless!
How would quadrupeds even do that?
Actually, on second thoughts, don't answer that.
Take my like and my money!
3032278
Part of the reason for writing this was to test my new writing setup, and to see if I could sit down and just power out an entire story (I wrote the first draft in 4 hours, including breaks, then reivsed it the next day). Another was to see if I could do straight up comedy without making it clop. This reaction is a good sign, because I've got another comedy story in mind, but it will take a while to figure out where I want to go with it.
Hah, I wish!
3033121
Wat. Where? I did proofread this thing before posting.
3032309>>3032339>>3032360>>3032382>>3032582>>3032778>>3033103>>3033161>>3033572>>3033615>>3033673>>3033890
Thanks for the kind words, guys!
3033991
You want me to go get a couple of them?
3034003
You can just PM all of them to me, if you like. I'm actually kind of mad that multiple mistakes got through.
3034018
Don't be. It's hard to spot grammatical errors when you're laughing so hard you cry
3033991 well, you did it, and did it superbly!
This fic is full of Win, Pie, and Awesome Sauce!
3034034
It's still no excuse!
3034163
Yay!
Someone call Twilight and have her use a mind wipe spell on Sweetie Belle. It's the only way to save her innocence.
3034305
Okay
Is... is Rarity just going around to her straight friends and proposing random frottage sessions?
That's... um... classy? Also, ladylike. And super romantic.
Pfffffffft.
This was beyond good.
I laughed my ass off. Well done.
~Skeeter The Lurker
The likes and dislikes make 666.
This story is SATAN.
Poor Sweetie Belle... She's too cute for this sort of stuff!
3032023 Twilight isn't gay. Obviously it's a trollfic
3034410 The best kinds of stories are Satan.
So I find this story with no idea as to what scissoring is. So I look it up on an image search. In the MIDDLE of the LIBRARY! I'm sending you my bail bill.
3034317
Good idea. Let's just say that happened in the unwritten epilogue.
3034326
Grammar Nazi for life. Seriously, in my Uni writing classes, I'm infamous for that sort of thing.
3034346
That's Rarity for you! All's she needed was Pinkie to break her out of her shell.
3035251
I lost it when I read this comment.
Reminds me of The Birds and the Bees
by theworstwriter, in a great way. Great story, laughed my ass off
While this story was entertaining, I wish you made Rainow Dash oblivious to what scissoring is. I always kind of think rainbow dash is oblivious to sex. Other than that, MOAR!!!!
(I am never, never, never. never, ever gonna touch a pair of sci... um... those, um... fabric cutting things... again...)
Why was Sweetie Belle near the scissors in the first place?
She's to young to know what scissoring even is, or the deep romantic nature of scissoring.
Rainbow Dash tends to do it often with her Coltfriend, Soarin. 
Princess Cadence, and Shining Armor do it, no matter where they go, and it will eventually result in a little filly in season 4. I'm sure that Big Mac and Miss Cherliee do it sometimes too. 
But, the way that you gave us a rare peek into the minds of mares and colts during their intimate relations, and what young fillies and colts think about the whole process, was funny to the point of histrionics. 
Hm, I was waiting for the plot twist the entire time, and it didn't come. Quite the odd feeling.
24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png
You made me laugh so have this. i.imgur.com/VZHBW60.gif
LOL
A nice read. I had a handful of chuckles here and there.