Dust Streak always had a thirst for adventure, so when Princess Luna asks her to retrieve a powerful artifact from the depths of the Zebrican Desert, of course she jumps at the chance! But things get complicated with the arrival of a power hungry fortune seeker, a dark and mysterious cult, a few bandits here and there, and a secret Luna is hiding from all of Equestria... Joining her on this quest, are Gilda, a Griffon with a temper, and Tails, a Warg with a past he's not willing to reveal...
(Note: I came up with this idea before the Daring Do episode, so enjoy a Daring Do themed story, without Daring Do...)
Chapters (4)
Looks promising. There are a few inconsistencies here though. For instance you need to decide whether Luna is writing in her Royal Canterlot ("thou") or not ("I", "you"). Your tenses also jumpy sometimes: But I didn't do (past tense) things the easy way, I do (present tense) things the best way... A pre-reader/editor can fix them, so it might be good idea to look for one.
Anyway. Tracked and thumb upped.
Ill go back an edit that, I dont know how I could have missed that... I spent 2 days proofreading!
Well, changed the letter, I just cant write in that wierd Shakepeare English...
282207 it's quite easy to miss stuff, when you trying to proofread yourself. You've seen this way too many times already. That's why you need somepony else to have a glance. Fresh eyes can bring out stuff, that tired ones tend to miss. Just like mine found this mistake even when I wasn't searching
Even though I'm not a writer, but being translator is not easier in this aspect, so I know what I'm talking about
Well, this first chapter wasnt very exciting, but, have to start some where... but the next one should be longer, and more adventurous. I will also introduce the other two main characters, and some of the antagonists.
The Dialogue is probably derped in a few places... because I suck at writing conversations, but It shouldn't be to hard to tell whos talking.
Also... I know I said i was gonna introduce both of the other main character, and the antagonists.. but.. this chapter was longer then I thought it was going to be so Im breaking it up.
Ah, finally got some time to read. Good chapter. The fight felt a bit rushed, but maybe it's just me.
On completely unrelated note: seeing «Zee Bunny Farm» in recommendations creeps me out >_>
Yeah.. that fight wasnt much of an Indiana Jones show down.. but, I promise, the next chapter will have a decent brawl in it, and will have at least one of the antagonists introduced, and will have the other main character come in.
Well, got Ch 3 up, and that's about the peak of my writing ability there, and is about 3,000 more words then anything I've ever written before, so enjoy